HELLOWE'EN

Friday the 13^th: The Series

Season 1 (1987)

Friday the 13^th: The Series has nothing to do with the horror movie franchise of the same name; the title of the show was just a shameless cash-grab. Rather than a hockey-masked camp killer this show (which lasted a surprising three seasons) was centered around a cursed antiques shop inherited by two young relatives of a man who made a pact with Satan.  Aided by mentor-occultist Jack (think of a D-list Dr. Loomis), Micki and Ryan try to undo evil Uncle Lewis’ legacy by tracking down the cursed objects he sold and sealing them in the shop’s vault.

Here's a pretty awesome promo to set the scene:

In this episode the trio throw a Halloween party in the store to try and win over their neighbors.  Two of the party guests then accidentally summon the spirit of Uncle Lewis.  While a trick-or-treater distracts Jack, Micki and Ryan are duped into giving Lewis an amulet that gives him a chance to transfer his spirit into a new body by sunrise (of course; it’s always by sunrise).  Meanwhile, in the show’s scariest moment (seen in the promo above), the trick-or-treater reveals herself to be a little person demon name Greta.  Greta and Lewis then head off to the morgue to find a fresh body while the bumbling trio seeks to thwart them.

Every family has a vengeful ghost Uncle Lewis.  Or is it just mine?

The first few scenes of this show are like a campy 80s slasher flick and I mean that in the best way possible.  The only thing worse than the acting is the special effects (a lot of fog and glowing lights) but a fun sense of imminent horror pervades the party scenes.  The costumes and decorations and overall low-budget 80s feel of the proceedings set a perfect Halloween mood. 

More please!

Sadly, once the ghost of Uncle Lewis actually shows up and the partygoers run screaming into the night the story falls apart.  Horror movie characters are notoriously stupid but these characters are truly too stupid to live.  Supposedly worldly magic-user Jack allows himself to be randomly led around the city by a young girl for what feels like 15 minutes.  He keeps saying “I’m on to you!  I’m not following you anymore!” and then continues to follow her, eventually into a cage.  Micki and Fred meet the ghost of their evil uncle and then hand him over a powerful mystic amulet just because he asks for it. 

The show really drags as the hapless heroes chase around the villains.  Every time someone enters a room they conveniently shut the door behind them so whoever follows has to stop and re-open it.  Seriously, we get three separate scenes of three different characters picking the lock of the same door.  Outside of the party scenes Greta (who is referred to as both a “midget” and a “dwarf” since the politically correct 90s hadn’t quite started) is the best part of the episode.  She’s pretty scary and then has a memorably bad death scene in which she trips and essentially throws herself onto a knife.

Don't mess with Greta.  She's got gloves!

The entire thing recalls good-bad horror movies classics such as Troll 2, though it’s not quite up to that level of awful-goodness.  But truly the 80s were a wondrous time, having brought us so many shows and movies of this type, as well as being responsible for Micki’s hair, which is approximately three sizes bigger than her head.

In the 80s everyday was Halloween.

Halloween Quotient: A 5 for the first half containing the party scenes and a 2 for the rest.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Watch the first 15 minutes or so but don’t feel guilty for changing the channel after that.  Or maybe fast forward to Greta’s death scene and then call it a night.