COMMERCIAL BREAK: CHRISTMAS!

It’s here!  The Christmas season is happily upon us at last!  Everyone’s got their favorite holiday but I seriously LIVE for Christmas.  And now that we’ve eaten the sacrificial turkey it's time for the Big Show (to borrow a turn-of-phrase from Elf).  Since today is Black Friday and the official kick-off of the gift-giving season I thought it would be appropriate to begin with a Commercial Break.

Christmas commercials have always been a real treat.  Along with our family-favorite holiday episodes there were the commercials, taped to VHS and immortalized for repeat viewings.  Like the holiday itself Christmas commercials can be exuberant or melancholy; energizing or heartwarming.  For this first round-up I’ve selected a mix of some classics and new additions that run the gamut of yuletide emotions.

First up we have this Coke commercial.  Nothing but nothing gets me in the holiday mood more than that familiar chant: “The holidays are coming/the holidays are coming/the holidays are coming…”  I also always sort of associated Coke with Christmas since it’s one of the few times a year we had it growing up, served in fancy crystal glasses alongside our parent’s wine and the ubiquitous Martinelli’s sparkling cider at Christmas dinner.   And don’t even get me started on the Christmas they had a special limited edition Vanilla Coke…

Now that we’re in a festive mood, I’ve been dying to share this British advert since I first watched it a month ago when it made the rounds of the interwebs.  It’s for department store John Lewis and those Brits have really made an art of annual Christmas ads.  Yes, anything with animated forest animals is automatically calculated for maximum emotional effect but I don’t care: this commercial kills me with feelings.  Kills me.  

Now, wasn’t that beautiful?  As we wipe the tears from the corner of our eyes let’s move on to something vintage.  This 1980s 7-Up commercial was one of the many on the aforementioned VHS tapes of my youth.  I feel like present-day commercials aren’t nearly as elaborate as those of my childhood but this is pure 80s goodness.

Finally, I’m choosing to wrap things up with a somewhat innocuous Folger’s commercial that nevertheless sums up everything that’s great about vintage Christmas commercials.  Undeniably cheesy, it tells a story about a college-age kid coming home for the holidays (just like 90% of all other holiday commercials).  There’s just something about it that screams Christmas to me, maybe because I drink twice as much coffee when I’m home for the holidays than I do on a normal basis (blame a need to stay energized and my mom's own coffee habit).
  

Have I whetted your appetite for the Christmas TV joys that await us?  Hopefully you had a great Thanksgiving and are sane and therefore not out shopping with the masses but rather snuggled up at home, eating microwaved leftover mashed potatoes and gravy and delving in to all of that glorious Christmas TV!

AN AMERICAN FAMILY

The Bob Newhart Show

Season 3 (1974)

When I was on the phone with my mom recently she asked, with genuine concern in her voice, “You are going to write about Bob Newhart for the blog, right?”  Clearly holiday TV mania springs from somewhere.  Along with the Catholic trinity in my childhood household there was the Classic TV Quartet: Lucy, Mary, Dick & Bob.  We were on a first name basis with all of them, especially around the holidays when we watched and re-watched episodes of I Love Lucy, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Bob Newhart Show.

When it came to Thanksgiving The Bob Newhart Show was definitely on top.  Bob Newhart brought us one of TV’s most famous Thanksgiving episodes “Over the River and Through the Woods,” aka “Moo-Goo-Gai-Pan.”  But rather than sing the praises of this already beloved episode I decided to feature my personal favorite of the show’s several Thanksgiving offerings, “An American Family.”

Beware in-laws bearing turkeys

In this lesser known but even more Thanksgiving-centric episode Bob’s parents are coming to spend the holiday with the Hartleys.  Bob’s mother Martha is a Type-A perfectionist who has Emily in a cleaning frenzy and everyone running around making sure all of the Hartley family Thanksgiving traditions are carried out (including coffee with eggshells?!).  When Emily’s boisterous father Junior and her mother show up announced, with a giant turkey with them, Martha wages passive-aggressive war.  It doesn’t help that Junior snatches an apple and thereby ruins her cornucopia.   Which in hindsight sounds sort of euphemistic but I’m really just talking an actual cornucopia.  

Photographic evidence of the cornucopia

On Thanksgiving Day both sets of parents are no-shows but end up colliding anyway when they stop by for dessert.  Bob’s father helps make peace by acknowledging both Martha and Junior’s faults and everyone sits down to a second meal.

Like her descendant Emily Gilmore, Martha is the type of tireless, bitchy, Miss Manners that I can really get behind.  Her not-so-subtle quips are a joy throughout the episode as are hearing about the Hartley family traditions, including Pilgrims made from “cranberries damp from the bog,” Indian corn on the door and an “H” carved from butter.  And I’ve always loved the tried-but-true sitcom trope of clashing traditions.  Which kind of stuffing your family prefers and when you open your Christmas presents are to me essential indicators of your truest nature.

We miss you, Marcia

I also have to swing the spotlight on Marcia Wallace, who of course played Carol, and passed away just last month.  She has only a small role in this episode: she brings a spinach soufflé that ends up spilled inside her car and also wears a really fabulous coat.  But even with a small role she manages to be warm and funny and this Thanksgiving I'm grateful for the years of television goodness she provided us with.

So never fear Mom; you raised me well!  It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without good ole’ Bob.

The Menu: Two Turkeys, Chestnut & Oyster Stuffing, Spinach Soufflé, Mincemeat Pie & Coffee with Eggshells

Thanksgiving Quotient: We’re ending on a high note with a solid 5!

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Run out and buy all of the available seasons of The Bob Newhart Show on DVD in the hopes that the boost in sales will get them to release the last few seasons!

A DEEP-FRIED KOREAN THANKSGIVING

Gilmore Girls
Season 3 (2002)

I have to give credit where credit is due: my mom and sister discovered and loved Gilmore Girls long before I did.  I didn’t get their obsessive love of the show, which involved lots of heated discussions about characters and at least one Gilmore Girls-themed party.  I very slowly warmed up to it, however, watching it piecemeal until Nick and I took the plunge and watched the entire show in order.  I’m a full convert now and spend my days wishing I could escape to Stars Hollow.  And the character of Emily Gilmore has been canonized in my personal house of worship and is also currently my desktop image on my work computer.

This Thanksgiving episode embodies what makes the show so fun, namely a lot of quirky characters, sharp dialogue and an idyllic setting.  In typical Gilmore Girls fashion Lorelai and Rory have committed to three Thanksgiving dinners.  When Emily literally sneaks up on Lorelai (a very funny scene in which Lorelai, not realizing her mother is standing directly behind her, compares her to Stalin) they add a fourth meal to their roster.  

A decapitated chocolate turkey & Mrs. Kim

First up is the religious Kim household, where the menu is vegetarian and Mrs. Kim is her awesomely curt self.  Then it’s off to Luke’s diner for a home-cooked meal with Luke and Rory’s surly boyfriend Jess (I'm Team Logan all the way). After that they head to friend Sookie’s front yard, where Sookie is dismayed at her husband and his rowdy family's plan to deep-fry a turkey.  She eventually gets drunk to cope as they deep-fry whatever they can get their hands on, including but not limited to cake and a napkin.  Never forget that Melissa McCarthy, who plays Sookie, was doing a kick-ass job on Gilmore Girls before her major modern-day fame!

Man vs. Turkey

The final meal is with the senior Gilmores, Emily and Richard, and some of their typically pompous friends (one of whom only speaks French).   It includes a ceremonial turkey carving, during which Richard slices off just one piece of meat before the turkey is ushered back in to the kitchen by a team of maids.  Ugh, Richard!  During the course of that ill-fated dinner it’s revealed that Rory applied to schools other than Harvard, causing Lorelai to flip out and blame her parents for manipulating her daughter away from her lifelong dream.  Lorelai’s over-the-top reaction is irrational and irritating.  Who doesn’t apply to multiple colleges?  Besides, I automatically side with Emily on everything.  Emily knows best!

Emily rings my bell

It’s a very enjoyable episode; while screen capping images for this post I pretty much wanted to screen cap the whole thing.  I love the contrast between the different meals (how many Seventh Day Adventist Thanksgiving dinners do we get to see portrayed on TV?).  The subplots, such as Paris being annoyed at not being able to secure a soup kitchen volunteer spot and Kirk being terrorized by his cat (also named Kirk) add a lot of humor as well.  Plus, despite her emotional faux pas, at least Lorelai knows enough to know that chocolate turkeys make the best Thanksgiving hostess gifts.

The aftermath: deep-fried turkey carcass and drunk Sookie

Recurring Themes: Another case of Multiple Meals.

The Menu: Chocolate Turkeys, Tofurkey, Deep-Fried Turkey, Regular Turkey, Canned Cranberry Sauce, Stuffing, All the Trimmings, Margaritas & Lots of Rolls

Thanksgiving Quotient: It would be a 5 on the basis of just the episode itself but as  Thanksgiving is a bit overshadowed by several running storylines it earns a 4.

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Own it and enjoy it every year!

THE MIRACLE OF THANKSGIVING

Full House
Season 1 (1987)

Full House is one of those shows I can really only stomach around the holidays; its particular blend of saccharine stupidity never appealed to me, even as a kid (and I watched a lot of stupid shows when I was a kid).  It does have at least one Christmas episode that I really love so I gave this Season 1 Thanksgiving episode a go.  

It started quite promisingly with dad Danny, the two slightly creepy live-in uncles and the three young girls coping with the family’s first Thanksgiving without the girls’ mother.  At first they plan on going to a restaurant but the girls are dismayed and vow to make the turkey and their mom’s perfect pumpkin pie themselves.  Heartened by their resolve, the men pitch in and volunteer to cook the rest of the meal.

White men can't cook

After a totally random Motown musical number in the kitchen all seems well as the family gets ready to feast.  However the uncles discover that the turkey is still frozen and un-carvable.  They stall, not wanting to hurt D.J.’s feelings, and throw the turkey into the oven on high heat.  Then two random women show up at their house by accident with a turkey in tow.  Danny tries to buy it off of them but Joey, who is really fucking annoying in this episode, gets his tongue stuck in a bottle and then a chair and scares them off.  The turkey burns and Stephanie drops the pie on the floor.  The girls flee upstairs.

I had the same look on my face as the woman in blue while watching this

All of the above makes for pretty satisfying Thanksgiving fare but what follows was painful.  Danny goes into counselor mode, first consoling D.J. (who says something about smiles being free so give them away) and then counsels Jesse when he freaks out too.  Bob Saget is extremely robotic and speaks slowly-as-if-explaining-things-to-very-stupid-people-and-it-makes-me-want-scream.  It’s all so painfully earnest it makes your teeth ache.  And don’t get me started on Joey, who apparently lives under the stairs in these early episodes  (upping his creepy factor by 100%) and keeps making trumpet sounds and announcing “The Miracle of Thanksgiving!”  He makes funny sounds; Michelle smiles on command, Bob Saget talks So. Fucking. Slow.  By the time they all got back to the table and finally carved the burned turkey I was itching to turn the TV off.

The Menu: Blackened Turkey, Stuffing, Vegetables, Yams & Mom’s Perfect Pumpkin Pie

Thanksgiving Quotient: 3

See It, Skip It, Own It?
The first half is pretty fun but the second is hard to stomach so either skip this one or take some Tums before watching.

FILM FOCUS: LOVE AT THE THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE

I’ve been trying to get Nick to watch Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade with me all month long.  One of the best things about Christmas TV is the seemingly endless parade of holiday made-for-TV movies, mostly on Lifetime, Hallmark Channel and ABC Family.  I can’t get enough of these cheesy, filmed-in-Canada, D-List TV star delights.  And I can’t be the only one who enjoys them: our TIVO is working overtime recording a never-ending lineup of movies with increasingly wonderful-ridiculous titles (Fir Crazy, anyone?).

I was especially excited about Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade because there are so few Thanksgiving-themed made-for-TV movies, especially in comparison with the innumerable Christmas variety.  Nick finally relented and last night and we sat down to watch this Hallmark Channel original, starring Autumn Reeser and Antonio Cupo.  Reeser’s name was vaguely familiar to me in connection with The O.C., though I’d never actually seen her in anything, and a Google search revealed that Cupo is an Italian soap star.

Autumn Reeser doing her best Maureen O'Hara in Miracle on 34th Street impression.

The premise is a sort of rom-com Frankenstein’s monster, shamelessly borrowing plot points from Miracle on 34th Street, You’ve Got Mail, and Two Weeks Notice.  Emily, your typically spunky heroine who only wears vintage clothes, lives and works in Chicago.  Her job is to organize the annual Thanksgiving Day parade and generally be excited about life.  She’s also longing for a proposal from her long-distance marine biologist boyfriend despite her fear of boats.  One of the things I love about these movies is the sheer number of random character traits they throw in: “So she’s a brunette and an orphan and… let’s say she’s terrified of boats.”  Yes!  Her nemesis/inevitable true love Henry is a corporate-yet-dashing drone who gets assigned to evaluate the parade and perhaps ruin it for vague, money-making reasons.

The two predictably clash and end up striking a bet that Emily will be engaged to her boyfriend by Thanksgiving.  Meanwhile she does her best to bring out  Henry’s sentimental side and prove the parade's worth by doing things like dancing with old people, a carriage ride, and cheering up sick kids at the hospital with some clowns.  Along the way they fall in love; Emily’s boyfriends fails to propose; complications arise.  I won’t give away the ending but I’ll give you a couple of potential endings: Ending #1: Emily is killed by a boat or Ending #2: Emily & Henry end up engaged. Within the first five minutes of the movie, in which we learn Emily is casting Santa for the parade, I told Nick that by the end either the real Santa would show up or the love interest would end up subbing in at the last minute.  Rest assured, one of these things does happen.

Clowns!

Despite my reliance on words like “predictable” and “obvious” in descriping the plot I am happy to report that I really, genuinely enjoyed this movie!  And an even bigger surprise: Nick did too!  Maybe chalk it up to low expectations but we were both really won over, despite the incredibly stock story.  A lot of the credit goes to Autumn Reeser and her portrayal of Emily.  She’s just so gosh-darn likeable, whether she’s drunkenly singing Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” or wearing a series of really adorable 60s-inspired outfits.  Her vintage wardrobe adds a lot of visual appeal to the movie.  The male lead, both the actor and the character, is rather wooden but Reeser/Emily makes up for it.  

Even better, this is the kind of Thanksgiving movie that I can really get behind because it’s a not-so-stealth Christmas movie in thin disguise.  Despite the title and the fact that it takes place in November this is a Christmas movie through and through.  Christmas decorations are in every scene, there is much talk of Santa, Christmas songs make up the soundtrack and Emily drinks from a giant Santa-head mug at one point.  Emily even says at the beginning of the movie that the Thanksgiving parade was originally called the Christmas parade.  I’m a stickler for enjoying each holiday in its own timeframe but I am DYING to get started on Christmas so this movie allowed me to indulge in some pre-December yuletide fun without the jumping-the-gun guilt.

 PDSA = Public Display of Santa Affection

I even learned a little about the Chicago Thanksgiving Day parade and I don’t normally expect to learn any history watching movies of this type.  I did wonder why the movie was set in Chicago when the most famous Thanksgiving parade is obviously in New York.  However I figured that they couldn’t do it without Macy’s cooperation so choose a lesser known parade to get around the corporate interference (and cost of filming in NYC).  There were a couple very pointed references to the Ronald McDonald House charity in the movie and when I looked up the Chicago parade sure enough it’s called the “McDonald’s Thanksgiving Parade.”  So much for avoiding corporate synergy, but at least it wasn’t too overwhelming.

I’m sure Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade will be running on a loop from now until Christmas on the Hallmark Channel, plus it's available on DVD as well.  I heartily recommend it as the escapist holiday fare that it is, but also as an especially good example of this type of holiday programming.  I’m taking the fact that my first made-for-TV movie of the season was so enjoyable as a very good omen for the coming avalanche of Christmas TV!

PERKY'S VISIT

Designing Women
Season 1 (1986)

Designing Women is in my Top Ten Shows of All Time list.  For fellow fans of the show this Season 1 episode is interesting because it lays the groundwork for a lot of future happenings over the course of the show’s seven seasons.  While I wish it was a little more Thanksgiving-centric all in all it’s a great episode of the show and a pretty good holiday episode as well.

 It ain't Thanksgiving until something or someone catches fire

The women of Sugarbakers Design Firm are celebrating Thanksgiving together and Suzanne, despite a complete lack of culinary skills, has taken it upon herself to cook the meal.  Their guests include Anthony, their recently hired ex-con handyman.  Of course Anthony would go on to become a central cast member but here Meshach Taylor (who plays Anthony) is still billed as a guest star.  When Julia reads in the paper that one of their clients, whom Anthony visted the day before, has been murdered the women all suspect him of the crime, making for a tense holiday.  They really do treat Anthony badly in this episode, indicative of the fact that the show was still in its nascent stages and the characters were still evolving.  Poor Anthony would never be a legitimate murder suspect in later seasons.

And now... here's Bernice!

The remaining two guests are Suzanne and Julia’s mother Perky and her friend Bernice.  Bernice, played by the always delightful Alice Ghostley, would return and also later become a fixture of the cast, adding a welcome zany element, as she does in this episode.  Her “arterial flow” problem results in a lot of non-sequiturs and blunt truth telling, such as asking Anthony not to kill her at the dinner table.  For real continuity hounds there is also a nice tidbit in this episode, as Charlene is saddened over her boyfriend’s relocation to Tokyo.  Both Perky (who's only appearance is in this episode, though she's referenced throughout the show's run) and then later Suzanne would also disappear to Tokyo in later seasons.  It’s the kind of lazy sitcom fix that I almost have to respect. How do we get rid of a character? Off to Tokyo with them!  I know that in real life I’ve lost many a friend and relative to the siren song of Japan.

Charlene's dress in this episode should be the legally mandated uniform of Thanksgiving

While almost the whole episode takes place on Thanksgiving it’s not exactly dripping in holiday cheer.  The show would go a lot wackier in later seasons but everything here is a bit too restrained.  We do get a nice running joke about Suzanne’s terrible cooking (she burns the pie and Bernice chokes, off-camera, on the turkey).  And Mary Jo walks in at one point with a flower centerpiece.  Don’t ask me why but I get a thrill every time someone shows up with a centerpiece in a show or movie, I guess because it just makes it seem so holiday-esque.  Plus centerpieces are just awesome.

The Menu: Turkey, Homemade Rolls, Canned Beets, Red & White Wine, Sweet Tea & Burnt Pie

Thanksgiving Quotient: 3

See It, Skip It, Own It?
You should already own all seven seasons of Designing Women, including this episode.  If not, why are you wasting time reading this?  Go buy it!

FILM FOCUS: HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, PART II

Welcome to Part Two of a two-part examination of the Greatest Thanksgiving Movie Evah, Home for the Holidays.  Along with all of my previous praise I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge how well the movie represents the holiday itself.  The majority of the film takes place on Thanksgiving Day and you get a parade scene, you get football (both on TV and the front yard variety) and lots and lots of food.  Two turkeys, one fat and one lean (trope!), sweet potatoes stuffed in orange peels with cherries on top, stuffing, pumpkin pie, eggnog and leftovers.  It feels like the kind of Thanksgiving I had growing up (both the food and the functioning-dysfunctional family part).

The secret ingredient is love.  And paprika.

The kids in my family always got chocolate advent calendars on Thanksgiving from first my great-grandmother and later my grandmother, marking the official kick-off of the Christmas season. Being the Christmas fanatic that I am, I’ve always appreciated the Christmas creep that crops up throughout the movie, very small touches that remind you, as in life, that Christmas is right around the corner.  There are lights and decorations glimpsed in people’s yards, Christmas decorations seen tucked away in the basement during one scene, and storefronts and the airport are seen already decked out the day after Thanksgiving.  These small touches root the movie even further in reality and always make me wistful that a sequel, Home for Christmas, doesn’t exist.

Christmas is right behind you. And a little to the left.

It gives nothing away to say that the movies ends with a beautiful montage, one of my favorites scenes in all of film.  It captures earlier alluded to moments of joy for each of the characters, during which none of family members had a camera or managed to capture on film and yet represent some of their happiest memories.  All of the characters are given their due, shown at their best and brightest: Tommy at his wedding on the beach, Claudia snorkeling with her daughter, even Joanne and her husband, younger and I like to think less judgey, just goofing off together.  Each scene is a moment when maybe not all that much happens save people loving one another and life in general.

The very thought of you...

It’s powerful stuff and it gets me every time (and I’ve seen this movie a lot).  It doesn’t help that it’s set to Nat King Cole singing “The Very Thought of You,” as Nat King Cole was basically the soundtrack of my own family growing up.  It’s the kind of montage that makes you wish life was nothing but just a series of happy moments set to music, but Home for the Holidays isn’t afraid to fill in the other moments as well, the darker and unhappier ones.

I’ll conclude by saying that while watching the movie this year Nick and I ended up having to pause it halfway through to have an argument, spurred by something I said which was in turn inspired by something that happened on screen (and not the aforementioned comparison to Joanne).  I won’t go into details and rest assured we made peace but it struck me that that’s how good and true this movie is: just watching it brought out our own real-life family issues!  It has both the power to ignite arguments and sooth the soul.  When I first moved to New York and spent my first couple of Thanksgivings away from my family I watched Home for the Holidays over and over again.  It was like spending time with my own family, like escaping into the past, goods times, bad times and all of the bittersweet in-between.  

The very thought of you, my love

FILM FOCUS: HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, PART I

For every holiday there is one signature movie that for me best embodies the spirit of the particular season. For Halloween it’s the previously discussed Hocus Pocus and you’ll just have to sit tight and wait to see what I consider to be the ultimate Christmas movie.  As for Thanksgiving, even if there was greater competition (which there really isn’t), Home for the Holidays will forever more be THE movie.  When I started to write about it I quickly realized I had too much to say for just one blog post, so prepare yourselves for part one of a rambling, two part epic.

I first saw Home for the Holidays in the theater with my parents in 1995.  I remember it well because an older couple sitting near us hated it so much that they walked out during the movie.  This really surprised us, considering how much we all loved it.  My guess is that they were expecting something more along the lines of your average Christmas movie: lots of treacle and gentle humor.  Home for the Holidays has a lot of heart but it also goes dark and at times it’s even crude, especially for a holiday film.  But even I, the avid consumer of treacly Christmas films, sometimes like my holiday fare with a bit of bite.  In other words, that couple was fucking stupid and the movie is awesome.

The Larsons gather together

Home for the Holidays was directed by Jodie Foster and boasts an amazing cast, including but not limited to Holly Hunter, Anne Bancroft and Robert Downey Jr., still in his drug-haze days (but it serves him well here-- his performance is brilliant).  Even the smaller roles are filled by impressive talent, such as Cynthia Stevenson (always a personal favorite of mine), David Strathairn and Geraldine Chapman.  The film is based on a (very) short story, which I read for the first time last year.  I can assure you that this is an adaptation that far outshines the source material.  The actual source material here is real life and real families, something this movies captures better than most.

Oh yeah, there's also a giant dancing turkey and some kids in pilgrim hats. 

It’s a character-driven film with a simple story: single mom Claudia Larson is having a run of bad luck, losing her job on the same day she’s flying home (sans her teenager daughter, played by Claire Danes) for Thanksgiving.  Her family consists of her parents, eccentric Aunt Glady, her uptight sister Joanne (the aforementioned Cynthia Stevenson) and her gay wild child brother Tommy, who conveniently brings along a love interest for Claudia in the form of Leo Fish (Dylan McDermott).  They talk, they bicker, they eat, they fight some more.

I could literally just make a very long list of everything I love about this movie; there’s pretty much nothing I dislike about it save perhaps for some of Aunt Glady’s goofier moments (flatulence humor is never my thing, and let's leave it at that).  And, while funny, I’m not a huge fan of the movie’s most infamous moment, in which a turkey is accidentally thrust into Joanne’s lap.  This moment was played up for the trailer but that’s about as slapstick as things get and really isn’t indicative of the tone or the realness of the film.

Joanne gets turkeyed

The characters are perfectly balanced between their likability and flaws, just like your own family.  The character of Tommy, played by Robert Downey Jr., is one of the best portrayals of a gay guy I’ve seen on screen.  He’s funny and rambunctious without every lapsing into caricature but he also continually carries a certain sadness as he deals with his alternately accepting and painfully judgmental family members.  It’s interesting that such an honest portrayal of gay life came from a time when Jodie Foster was herself still awkwardly in the closet.  Luckily those days are officially over.

You can’t help but identify with at least one of the characters and/or see your own family in the Larsons.  I obviously related to Tommy for many years but this year, during our annual viewing of the movie, Nick pointed to me during a particular scene in which the character of Joanne has a mini freakout in the kitchen, spitting out “I can’t do everything!”  Ironically this is the scene we always teased my mom about.  She even owned a dress almost identical to the one Joanne wears in the movie (I must point out, for the record, that my mom does NOT share Joanne’s bitchery or homophobia).   The thing is that in my adult years I can now see my own similarity to both my mom and Joanne.  I guess it's inevitable that soon I’ll start relating to the elderly parents, or maybe Frank, the aging, hairball-spewing cat.

Joanne can't do everything and neither can I, so give us a break Holly Hunter

Stay tuned for Part 2, in which we examine the Thanksgiving factor (including the food!), the Christmas Creep and I get a little teary…

SEASON'S READINGS: STRANGERS AT THE FEAST

2010 Hardcover Edition 

Thanksgiving really does generate the least media of the Big Three holidays.  There are a fair amount of Thanksgiving-themed TV episodes but only a handful of movies, books and specials, especially in comparison to the seemingly endless amount of Halloween and Christmas content.  This year I went on the hunt for Thanksgiving reading material outside of picture books and cozy mysteries.  I was excited to stumble across Jennifer Vanderbes' Strangers at the Feast, a novel that takes place entirely on Thanksgiving Day.  The cover copy made it sound like your typical, pseudo-literary dysfunctional Connecticut family story but it ultimately had a bit more going for it than the jacket suggested.

The book (Vanderbes' sophomore effort) follows the course of one Thanksgiving Day as the upper-middle class Olson family gathers together for the holiday.  The characters are interesting, if not a bit predictable.  There's the unmarried, freewheeling professor daughter taking a stab at adult responsibility by both adopting a mute girl from India and hosting Thanksgiving for the first time.  We  also have a money-hungry brother, his resentful wife and their three kids, with the whole family teetering on financial ruin despite their lavish lifestyle.  And finally there are the parents the slightly helpless homemaker wife and mother and the remote, Vietnam vet father.

The novel is well-written and contains a lot of details that root it in the real world, something I always appreciate.  The characters are realistic; my favorite was Denise, the angry wife and daughter-in-law who never the less keeps up appearances.  Most of the book, told in chapters alternating between the various characters' perspectives, is made up of flashbacks exploring the histories of the various characters before cutting back to their present-day interactions during Thanksgiving.  If that's all this book had to offer it would have been a major and cliched disappointment.  The whole dysfunctional WASP family thing, even when done well, has been done to death.  Luckily there was a suspense element that made it a more enjoyable, if imperfect read.

2011 Paperback Edition

Along with the Olson family there's one more key character: Kijo, an African-American teen from a housing project in Stamford.  From the epilogue on we get cryptic hints that some sort of violent tragedy befalls the Olsons on Thanksgiving; obviously it involves Kijo, as he heads out early in story to enact mysterious revenge against at least one member of the family.  The suspense element of how exactly this is all going to play out is intriguing, but my biggest complaint about the book is that the big, built-up event doesn't happen until the last 40 pages or so of the book.  It's like writing a 350 page novel about the Titanic and not having the boat hit the iceberg until page 300.  I don't suffer from bloodlust or anything but again, it's this element of violence that makes this book something a bit more than your average neurotic family story and the payoff, while pretty satisfying, comes way too late in the game.

I do also have to give a shout-out to the author's cringe-worthy child dialogue.  Creating realistic-sounding children in novels is a very difficult task; I almost take for granted when a child speaks in a book that it will sound terrible.  Luckily the kids don't play a big role in the story (at least one of them is mute) but the little dialogue they have is pretty bad, even by my low standards.  The best-worst example comes while two of the twins are playing explorer and have this to say about their grandmother: "The Westportians are known as a peaceful people.  They are gardeners and stargazers and drinkers of wine."  Oh yeah, that's exactly the sort of insightful, slightly biting critique that rolled off my tongue at age 9.  There is an element of literary pretension at work here, as also evidenced by the author's painfully earnest, oh-so-serious jacket photo.


Pacing issues and these small quibbles aside, this was a quick and entertaining read and certainly satisfied my hunger from some Thanksgiving fiction.  The holiday makes for a great backdrop and you get a lot of scenes of preparing the meal, eating the meal, debates about watching football and family woes in the context of holiday togetherness.  If you're looking for not just a good Thanksgiving read but a pretty good book in of itself, join Strangers at the Feast.

THE BIRD

Everybody Loves Raymond
Season 8 (2003)

“The Bird” is my hands-down favorite of all the Everybody Loves Raymond Thanksgiving episode, no easy feat given the competition.  It ably demonstrates the show’s genius for taking a minor incident and blowing it up into a family-wide catastrophe, and it’s also pretty impressive that the show was still producing such high-quality episodes in its second-to-last season.  I’m a big fan of the McDougalls, the family-in-law that joined the show after Amy married Robert.  The soft-spoken, religious MacDougalls provide a brilliant contrast to the emotional, rough-around-the-edges Barones and this episode pits the two families together in a marvelous manner.

Shirtless and weirdly chest-hairless Ray Romano alert, if you're into that sort of thing.  

The Barones arrive to spend Thanksgiving with the MacDougalls, something none of them are all that happy about.  The men are dismayed to learn that the family doesn’t own a TV and Marie is miffed at being pushed out of the culinary spotlight.  Despite a rough start the two families are starting to bond (thanks to a shared love of naps) when a small bird smashes against the front door. Everyone is dismayed and Pat, the gentle MacDougall matriarch, cradles the bird and takes it into the kitchen.  Moments later it’s revealed that instead of nursing the injured bird she broke its neck.

The Barones are horrified and the MacDougalls baffled by their reaction.  Long-simmering antagonism between the two families erupts, and shortly thereafter the clueless kids force everyone into participating in a Thanksgiving play.  The Barones take the role of the Native Americans (Ray angrily rips off his shirt in order to claim the role of Squanto) and the MacDougalls play the pilgrims.  They then act out their hostilities via the play but the entrance of another bird ends the argument: Pat enters with the cooked turkey and everyone rushes to the table to feast together.

I'm Team Pilgrim on this one-- better headgear.

The episode rolls out like a delicious one-act play; the dialogue and characters are hilarious.  I grew up watching George Engels as Georgette on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and she is equally wonderful here in the role of Pat, a similarly tender-hearted character with flashes of someone feistier underneath.  The themes at work in this episode are entirely relatable, as who hasn’t struggled at some point to bond with someone else’s family?  Little things make for big differences, especially around the holidays.  As for everything beginning and ending with a dead bird, all I can say is well-played, nameless team of sitcom writers.

The Menu: Unidentified Appetizers, Turkey, Green Salad, Brussels Sprouts & Pie

Thanksgiving Quotient: 5

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Add it to your permanent collection!

MOVEABLE FEAST

Will & Grace

Season 4 (2001)

Rosario digs in

Nick and I recently bought and watched the complete series of Will & Grace, start to finish.  Minus the holidays episodes, at my insistence.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: holiday episodes must only be viewed during their appropriate season!  So we were excited to now be able to go back and watch the Thanksgiving episodes we earlier skipped.  Out of all the holidays Will & Grace made the most of Thanksgiving, with several hour-long special episodes over the course of its 8 seasons.  Despite the extra running time, however, the holiday usually just played backdrop to whatever drama the characters were currently undergoing.

A case in point is this episode, in which Will, Grace, Jack and Karen all agree to visit their respective families on Thanksgiving before heading back to share a meal together.  They leave maid Rosario to watch over the cooking turkey and set a strict time limit for each obligatory family visit. 

First Karen visits her (always unseen) husband Stan in jail and is upset when he tells her she should start sleeping around.  Next up is Grace, who takes the gang to her Aunt Honey’s.  Aunt Honey is played by the always welcome Lainie Kazan, but she’s barely given anything to do save wear a fabulous muumuu.  Instead the focus is on the equally vibrant Debbie Reynolds in the role of Grace’s overbearing songstress mother.  Grace ends up telling her mother off and the group promptly departs when their allotted time is up.

Debbie sings the blues.

They then visit Jack’s stepfather, bringing Jack’s son Elliott with them.  Jack is infuriated when his stepfather is kind and friendly towards Elliott in a way he never was toward Jack.  Once again the group makes a hasty departure and arrive at their final destination: Will’s parents’ house.  Will’s dad is off with his mistress and Will’s patrician mother, played to the hilt by Blythe Danner, is holding court.  When Will’s brother attempts to ditch out early they force Will’s mother to chose who stays and she chooses the brother over Will, much to his surprise.

It's a very WASPy Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown

While all of this is happening Rosario is slowly devouring the turkey and then attempting to cover up her gluttony.  Once the foursome make it home, ready for their meal, they then decide to go back and wrap up their unfinished business at an even more hectic pace.  Everyone gets some form of closure and make it back yet again only to discover that Rosario has polished off the last of the turkey.

Ron Swanson, is that you?!

Whew!  That’s a lot of story but sadly none of it is that compelling. Will & Grace was at its best when it was zany and frivolous; all of the attempts at going deep are frankly a bore.  My favorite section is the part dealing with Will’s family.  We get the most Thanksgiving in those scenes as well as a guest appearance by a pre-mustache, pre-Parks & Recreation Nick Offerman (who is married to Megan Mullaly in real life) as a sexy plumber who tempts Karen.  In addition to Offerman, this episode does feature an impressive line-up of guest stars, including one of my favorite drag queens, Coco Peru, in the pre-credits scene, a memorable party-line split-screen between all of the characters.

Coco Peru, in the center of the bottom row, minus her wig.

Recurring Themes: We have our first occurrence of Multiple Meals (even though they don’t do a lot of actual eating).

The Menu: Turkey

Thanksgiving Quotient: 3

See It, Skip It, Own It?

This episode is both somehow overstuffed and yet not fully satisfying.  Maybe watch just the scenes set at Will’s house or skip it altogether.

WE GATHER TOGETHER

Roseanne

Season 2 (1989)

Before

Everybody Loves Raymond wins Thanksgiving but Roseanne is constantly waiting in the wings just waiting to snatch the crown.  No other show did Halloween as well as the Conner clan but over the course of its many seasons the show also offered up some amazing Thanksgiving episodes as well.  “We Gather Together” is the first and arguably best of the best. 

In its early seasons both the show and Roseanne Barr herself had an extremely naturalistic style and tone; the dialogue doesn’t feel like written dialogue but improvised conversation; the characters feel real and relatable and everything from the sets to the costumes to the food looks like it could be at your next-door neighbor’s (especially if you live in a trailer park-- or at least next to one).

This naturalism is at its zenith in this Thanksgiving episode.  It doesn’t even really have a central story, just a lot of little wonderful moments between the various characters as they, you guessed it, gather together to celebrate Thanksgiving.  Both Roseanne and Dan’s parents arrive, along with their emotional baggage. 

It's not a holiday if someone doesn't break out in tears.  Solution: more wine!

Dan’s divorced mom brings a date and the Conners’ friend Crystal seems to be entering into a flirtation with Dan’s father, which grosses everyone out a bit (including me—they eventually get married but it always remains a bit icky).  And Jackie is as neurotic and flighty and over-emotional as ever.  In the role of Jackie, Laurie Metcalf absolutely steals every single scene she’s in.

This episode really is Thanksgiving perfection; you can practically smell the turkey cooking in the oven as the characters interact onscreen.  I love Roseanne’s opening inner monologue, in which she “talks” to the turkey she’s stuffing (and gives it a little slap).  The dinner scene is memorable, during which Jackie breaks down crying and Roseanne, in her frustration, throws the turkey carcass down on the table.  There’s a sweet scene later between Dan and his mom on the porch as they simply talk.  Even the closing credits play out over John Goodman’s Dan as he stoically eats his meal while watching the craziness play out around him at the table.

Yum!  Carcass!

When Roseanne was good it was very, very good.  It’s tainted by its truly terrible final season as well as Roseanne Barr’s erratic behavior in real life. As her celebrity soared her appearance changed (with the aid of plastic surgery) and her acting style morphed into a screechy and unrealistic parody of these excellent early seasons.  But “We Gather Together” is as comfortable (and at times uncomfortable) as spending time as the guest of a real family, with all of the warmth and occasional awkwardness that implies.

And After

The Menu: Turkey, Canned Cranberry Sauce, White Wine & Beer

Thanksgiving Quotient: 5

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Buy it, watch it, rinse and repeat.