HALLOWEEN 2013 RETROSPECTIVE

Halloween is so close I can taste it (tastes like candy corn and Jolly Ranchers) so now is a good time to look back and reflect on the season.  First things first: a huge, heartfelt thank you to all of you for reading, commenting, and liking the blog on Facebook.  It’s been tremendously fun and I’ve loved sharing it all with you.  Luckily we have lots more holidays coming up to enjoy together!

I’m thrilled that I beat last year’s record of 65 episodes watched.  It was close but I did it, having watched my 67^th episode last night.  And maybe I can cram one or two more in by midnight on Halloween!  We also survived our trip to Sleepy Hollow and finally made it to the Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze, which was amazeballs.  I read four Halloween books, watched a couple of Halloween movies and ate way too much candy.  Tis the season!

And now I will hand out some random, meaningless awards (hey, if the Academy can do it so can I):

Our number one trope of Halloween 2013 was the inexplicably popular Rag Doll Costume, which appeared in four different episodes.  Coming tied in second and  appearing in three episodes each were the ever-popular Cleopatra Costume, A Dark & Stormy Blackout and Haunting with a Logical Explanation.

Scariest Moment is a tie between Zeke the Plumber in every scene he appeared in along with the moment Greta turned from trick-or-treater to demon in “Hellowe’en.”  Honorable mention for the scene in which Louie and his daughters were menaced in Louie.

Worst Episode goes to The Big Bang Theory’s “The Holographic Excitation.”

Best New Show Discovery is Halloween Wars, with the junior award given to Doc McStuffins. 

Worst New Show Discovery goes to Quints by Surprise—but at least one Facebook poster said they loved the show.  Different strokes, folks!

Fictional Halloween Party I Most Wish I Was Invited To goes to the Taylor family’s two parties seen in Home Improvement, with an honorable mention for Carrie’s party in Two of a Kind.

Unnecessary Excessive Flatulence Dishonor is bestowed upon Jessie with a shout-out to the “fart attack” in Parks & Recreation.

And finally the Batshit Crazy award goes to Girlfriends for bringing us the poignant story of a woman’s nervous breakdown, her shopping cart, and a weirdly long church-set sobfest.

As for tomorrow’s post, I’ve saved the bestest for lastest—can you guess what it will be?!

DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

Family Matters

Season 6 (1998)

Family Matters is one of those shows that I normally find too stupid-silly to sit through, but the schmaltz factor pays off in several really excellent Christmas episodes.  The Halloween episodes unfortunately aren’t quite as good. 

The first scene of this Season 6 offering is excellent: the house is insanely decked out for Halloween and one by one the family members reveal their costumes.  Laura is dressed as Batman Returns-era Catwoman, forever rooting this in the 90s (in the best way possible).  When a thunderstorm and blackout instantly erupts the family’s trick-or-treating and party plans are scuttled.  Instead they (and Urkel, of course) play a game of “pass the ghost,” passing a flashlight around as they each tell part of “scary” story.

Unfortunately the story then takes up the rest of the episode.  It recasts the family as medieval vampires and Urkel as their unwitting houseguests/slayer.  It’s a lot of sight gags and distractingly cheap props: a vase falls on the ground with a tremendous breaking glass sound only to roll away, completely intact. The vampire story doesn’t even take place at Halloween so there’s nary a pumpkin in sight (but there is, for some reason, a bowl or oranges and a tray of croissants laid out on the banquet table).

The episode’s scariest moment is when Urkel discovers a chained-up Laura who says she’s completely helpless and he leers at the camera, creepily repeating “Completely helpless!”  Nothing says Halloween like implied rape.  Weirdly, the only picture I could find of this episode online is of Laura in chains.  Ick.

She is wise to fear the Urkel.

Let’s move past this episode quickly and hold out for the better “Dog Day Afternoon.”

Recurring Themes: The grandmother wears a Rag Doll Costume (what is it with TV writers and rag doll costumes?!). Plus we get a Dark & Stormy Blackout.

Halloween Quotient: A 3 for the first scene and a 1 for the rest of the episode.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Due to the disappointing lack of actual Halloweeness, this is an easy skip.  Unless you’re really into overly long, goofy swordplay sequences, in which case this is the episode for you!

TRICK OR TREEHOUSE

8 Simple Rules

Season 1 (2002)

Shiny happy pumpkin people.

I’d never watched an episode of 8 Simple Rules before now; I only knew it as the show that John Ritter was starring in when he passed away.  It’s a very sitcomy sitcom—in the bad way.  The jokes and the characters are stale (blonde sexpot daughter, redheaded smart daughter, etc.).  The worst part though was the overwhelmingly loud laugh track.  At one point I rewound because I thought I’d missed some amazing joke based on the uproarious fake laughter.  But nope, the “joke” was something about “letting your wife work.”  The laugh track technician just leaned on the button too long or something.

It's bad when the cyclops jack-o-lantern has more personality than the human characters.

I can’t remember any of the characters’ names so we’ll just call them Family.  The episode begins with Family carving pumpkins and discussing their plans for the upcoming holiday.  Dad is excited for the usual traditions: trick-or-treating with Son and then the entire clan spending the night in a treehouse.  Except no one is interested this year and it’s only after being grounded one by one that the teens are forced to camp out.

Dad finally realizes that he can’t force the love and everyone is freed.  However when a thunderstorm hits and the power goes the teens show up at their parents’ bedroom door, resulting in some cozy reminiscence. 

John Ritter vs. Too Old To Trick or Treat.

The Halloween elements, when they appear, are enjoyable.  The carving pumpkins intro scene is the highlight and there are a few good Halloween jokes.   We get a couple trick-or-treaters (including one dressed as Sully from Monsters, Inc.—hello ABC-Disney synergy!) before Family trundles off to the treehouse for boring family bonding.  I always get absurdly excited when I recognize objects that I own on screen so I was particularly thrilled to note that Family has the exact same fall leaf garlands that I do.

Recurring Themes: Unsurprisingly this clichéd sitcom relies on Too Old To Trick or Treat.  It also features the Carving Pumpkins Intro and a Dark & Stormy Blackout.

Halloween Quotient: This earns an uninspired 2.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

You can skip this one and its overpowering laugh track.

THE NIGHT HE CAME HOME

Martin

Season 1 (1992)

It’s not easy sharing your name with the name of a sitcom.  There must be some sort of support group for us, the Maudes and Ellens and Martins of the world.  I was haunted by the theme song of this show for years.  My high school crush would sing it every time I entered a classroom (but I didn’t mind it so much when he did it—at least he was talking to me!).  But despite having its theme song thrust upon me I’ve always enjoyed Martin, a goofy 90s sitcom with some truly excellent holiday episodes.

Martin loves scaring his girlfriend Gina around Halloween but the tables are turned when, unbeknownst to him, Gina and his friends concoct a story about “Old Man Ackerman,” the cantankerous (and murdered) former tenant of his apartment.  When they gather at his apartment on Halloween they conduct a séance that quickly spirals out of control (thanks to their hidden friend who just happens to be a special effects wiz). 

Tommy is seemingly possessed and man, can this guy bulge his eyes and roll his tongue with the best of them!  Cole gets beat up by invisible “ghosts,” resulting in one of the episode’s funniest moments, in which Martin tries to fend off the invisible assailants.  Gina and Pam eventually disappear while cupboard doors slam open and shut, plates and a vase go flying and a skeleton dummy in the closet comes to life and attacks Martin.  All is revealed as an elaborate prank except when Martin and Gina are making out on the couch afterwards the REAL ghost of Old Man Ackerman shuffles by.

Perfection!  Everything about this episode is done right, from the heavy reliance on many tried-and-true Halloween sitcom tropes to the over the top antics of a terrified Martin Lawrence.  There are lots of black and orange candles and drugstore variety Halloween decorations.  And just in case you forget that this is a sitcom about African-American people in the 90s, Whoopi Goldberg, Rodney King and Chaka Khan are all referenced.

Here’s a bit of bonus Halloween trivia: Tisha Campbell and Tichina Arnold, the actresses who play Gina and Pam respectively, are both excellent singers and appeared together as two of the three chorus singers in the film musical Little Shop of Horrors.

There is one other Martin Halloween episode but just wait until Thanksgiving—that’s when things get REALLY good!

Recurring Themes: We’ve got ourselves a trope bonanza in this episode: a Dark & Stormy Blackout, Prank War, Haunting with a Logical Explanation, Séance and a Real Ghost Shows Up at the End!

Halloween Quotient: Our first 5 of the season!

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Own it and enjoy it year after year!  It’s up on YouTube or available for cheap on DVD.