WALT DISNEY PRESENTS: I CAPTURED THE KING OF THE LEPRECHAUNS

Walt Disney’s Darby O’Gill and the Little People is must-see St. Patrick’s Day fare for a lot of folks.  Disney fanatic I may be, but Darby has never a particular favorite of mine (I’m more of a Gnome Mobile person, if given a choice between little people-themed live action 60s Disney movies).  So rather than write about Darby itself, I instead elected to watch and review this episode of Walt Disney Presents (a show also known over its long run as Disneyland, Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color, The Wonderful World of Disney and so on and so on).  Turner Classic Movies recently re-aired this special about the making of the Darby film as part of their “Treasures From the Disney Vault” series.  It stars Walt Disney himself and is essentially an hour-long commercial for the Darby film framed as Walt’s trip to Ireland in search of leprechauns for his movie because he’s told “only a leprechaun can play a leprechaun.”

Let's head back to 1959, when this special aired, a time when people still threw around the word "midgets" and smoked a lot onscreen. The episode begins with Walt getting a pep talk from Irish-American actor Pat O’Brien.  Pat struts around a very late 50s-looking living room, smoking a pipe and extolling the virtues of Irish men (“and a few women, too” he says rather begrudgingly).  It’s Pat that urges Walt to fly to Ireland in search of real leprechauns.  Once in Ireland (he arrives via stock footage of an airplane), Walt consults with an Irish librarian who shows him a suit of miniature clothes and gives him a dose of Irish mythology.  Then Walt is off to a local village, where he next teams up with actor Albert Sharpe, in character as Darby O’Gill himself.  

Walt and Darby hang out in some fog-shrouded ruins where they eventually encounter some leprechauns and demand to meet the leprechaun king.  They hang out in the king’s throne room, do some fiddling, and King Brian agrees to lend Walt all the leprechauns he needs for his movie.  Walt then heads back to the states for another confab with Pat O’Brien, who this time smokes a giant cigar instead of a pipe (I can only assume Pat O’Brien died of lung cancer).  We’re then treated to a series of clips and scenes introducing the characters from Darby O’Gill, including a neat sequence with a ghostly banshee and a spectral horse and carriage.

I have to admit all of the above was a bit less than compelling.  It was neat to see Walt Disney playing a version of himself. As Leonard Maltin said in his introduction, it’s interesting to see a living, breathing Walt here who’s not just a brand, which is more the version I grew up with.  Certainly this was chockfull of vintage 60s goodness (the living room décor was especially delightful).  But since everything revolves around Darby, which again is not a particular favorite of mine, I wasn’t exactly enthralled by the proceedings.  Add in Pat O’Brien’s long stretches of pontificating and smoking and the fact that this hour-long special is almost as long as the movie Darby O’Gill and the Little People itself, and you’ve got a curious relic of TV days gone by.  

This special may have been a bit of a snoozer (and, since it was in black and white, lacking the vibrant green hues one hopes for in a St. Patrick’s Day special), but it’s a fitting tribute to Walt Disney’s seemingly boundless imagination as well as his incredible marketing savvy—only Uncle Walt could so cleverly disguise a commercial for family entertainment as family entertainment, and manage to promote so many things at once: his movies, Disneyland, and even himself.

FILM FOCUS: THE LUCK OF THE IRISH

I am an unabashed fan of Disney Channel original movies; I haven’t kept up as much in recent years but I have watched and enjoyed many in my time.  Some even achieve a sort of low-budget brilliance (Don’t Look Under the Bed, Wish Upon a Star and the Halloweentown franchise spring to mind).  In addition to a host of Christmas and Halloween-themed movies over the years, in 2001 the Disney Channel made a stab at St. Patrick’s Day with The Luck of the Irish.  Even with pre-lowered expectations The Luck of the Irish proved to be both a bit painful to sit through and, at times, absurdly delightful—in other words the usual mix one encounters with a made-for-television movie.

The plot is your basic “preteen discovers he is a half-paranomal creature,” well-trod territory that’s been covered with everything from witches to mermaids.  Naturally in this case our hero learns he is half-leprechaun (on his mother’s side) once he starts shrinking, his hair turns red and his ears grow pointed.  Kyle (played by Ryan Merriman) must then battle an evil senior leprechaun who steals his family’s good luck in the form of a magical coin Kyle normally wears around his neck.  In the process he’s reunited with his estranged leprechaun grandfather, who runs a potato chip factory (as one does).

Even at a trim hour and a half (with commercials) The Luck of the Irish dragged; it had a few good lunatic moments but way too much basketball (which the main character plays…and plays…and plays).  Weirdly, this is the second "leprechaun playing basketball" bit of media I've consumed this month, after reading Leprechauns Don't Play Basketball.  I think I've discovered a new subgenre!  

There is a nice scene in the movie set at a lavish Irish festival, complete with carnival rides, Irish step dancing and booths selling all sorts of Irish wares.  Kyle’s mom, who morphs into a full leprechaun early on, also brings some charm as she cooks disgusting Irish breakfasts and struggles to unbuckle her seatbelt while in miniature form. But the real draw here is the villain, Seamus McTiernan.

Firstly, of course the villain’s name is “Seamus.”  Aren’t they all?  Seamus starts out as the leader of the Irish step dancers, wearing a rather flamboyant green silk blouse.  As the movie progresses he starts to increasingly lose his shit, engaging in an RV car chase and challenging the young hero to a sporting competition (which involves throwing wagon wheels, dancing, and hurling boulders).  But it’s during the penultimate basketball game showdown between the good leprechauns and the evil middle-aged ones (don’t ask) that Seamus goes from campy antagonist to the stuff of nightmares.  

When it looks like Seamus will lose the basketball game he literally changes from normal-looking dude to utterly freaky leprechaun-monster (still wearing his basketball uniform though).  Don’t believe the level of freakiness?  Take a look at this pic and see if you can spot which player is Seamus:

Argh!  He’s basically Satan if Satan was a basketball-playing leprechaun.  Despite the boost of zaniness that Seamus provides everything else about the movie is rather flat: the slow-moving story, the poor acting, and the lack of actual St. Patrick’s Day (it’s never specified when the movie takes place, but the holiday is never mentioned).  It was also rather distractingly filmed in Utah, and it shows. 

Even more distracting is the final message of this Irish-themed film, which is basically “the U.S. is awesome!”  While Kyle ultimately embraces his inner leprechaun, towards the end of the movie he makes several comments about how in America you can be whatever you want by working hard.  He ends up banishing Seamus to the shores of Lake Eerie and the final scene is Kyle standing in front of an American flag and leading a crowd in a group sing of “This Land is Your Land.”  So happy St. Patrick’s Day everybody!  But in the mixed-message spirit of The Luck of the Irish, don't have too happy of a holiday because the U.S. is ultimately best.  Happy Fourth of July, everybody!

STILL PARADING

Still Standing
Season 2 (2004)

Still Standing is one of my guilty pleasures sitcoms.  Normally I’m an unabashed supporter of the sitcom format, but even I admit that there are a lot of stupid (sometimes frustratingly long-lived) shows out there.  Still Standing is as cookie-cutter as they come: schlubby dad with an attractive wife, bitchy redheaded teenage daughter (the redheaded daughters are always bitchy in sitcoms-- see Cybill, Reba, 8 Simple Rules, etc), single sister-in-law, blah blah blah.  It’s one of many King of Queens clones that appeared in the early 2000s and yet I’ve always rather (guiltily) enjoyed it.  

Maybe I’m just a sucker for Jamie Gertz, who plays wife/mother Judy, or for Sally Struthers’ frequent and funny guest shots as the mother-in-law.  There’s also a Christmas episode that I adore and watch every year.  Certainly it’s not the schlubby husband or predictable plots that give the show it’s mysterious appeal.  Whatever the reason, it just works for me, much like Yes, Dear, another so-so sitcom that I also find highly watchable.

This was my first time watching the show’s St. Patrick’s Day episode and it was something of a roller coaster ride.  It started out with a lot of unimaginative and slightly offensive gay jokes, as Brian, the nerdy son, is building a St. Patrick’s Day parade float in the backyard.  Dad Bill is frustrated by his son’s geeky hobbies and friends and so he sends his own friend’s jock son Scotty to help and hopefully befriend Brian.  When Bill later demands why Brian and Scotty didn’t get along Brian reveals that Scotty asked him out on a “guy on guy gay date.”

Bill plays unwitting matchmaker

Here’s where the show luckily took a turn from clichéd gay jokes to something more interesting (though the jock who turns out to be gay is a cliché unto itself).  But just as things are looking up we’re subjected to a long and somewhat gross scene of Scotty’s dad unknowingly rattling off baseball-as-gay-sex references until Bill and Judy accidentally reveal that Scotty’s gay.  

The show then takes yet another turn, as the dad knows that Scotty is gay and is totally fine with it, prompting Bill to realize that his strained relationship with his son is his fault and not due to his geeky pastimes.  This episode can’t seem to decide if it wants to rely on gay panic humor or send a positive message about acceptance so it just keeps vacillating between the two.

If you’re thinking this episode sounds better suited for Pride than St. Patrick’s Day, so did I while I was watching it.  However the last five minutes or so practically explode into holiday goodness, with Bill, dressed as a leprechaun, showing up to support his son and ride together on the float.  There’s also a running subplot about Judy being a terrible Irish dancer and her daughter being embarrassed to be seen with her during the parade (eventually Judy discovers that if she’s drunk her dancing improves).

I can’t really make up my mind about this episode.  Certainly the St. Patrick’s Day stuff is fun, but I can’t decide if the gay storyline is slightly offensive or surprisingly progressive (for a sitcom, anyway).  I do, however, fully approve of the term “guy on guy gay date.”  

St. Patrick’s Day Quotient: You have to wade through a lot of double entendres to get there, but things get very festive at towards the end of the episode, earning it a 4!

See It, Skip It, Own It?
This episode is an eclectic mix of tired gay jokes, pro-gay plot twists and St. Patrick’s Day parade floats.  Worth a watch just to witness the weirdness.

THE LEPRECHAUN

Bewitched
Season 2 (1966)

Nick and I are both big Bewitched fans, though we each prefer a different Darren.  Which Darren you like says a lot about your psychology: I’m all for the original, Dick York, and Nick prefers Dick Sargent (which I find weird).  Differences in Darren aside, we’ve been enjoying watching the complete series on DVD, which Nick received for Christmas.  In honor of St. Patrick’s Day we jumped ahead a bit to Season 2’s “The Leprechaun.”

The episode begins in typical Bewitched fashion: Darren (still Dick York, since this is only Season 2) arrives home from work and Samantha reveals that they have a supernatural visitor, in this case a leprechaun.  Just as Darren begins to complain about yet another of Samantha’s weird relatives she rather gleefully reveals that the leprechaun is in fact from Darren’s side of the family.  It’s a nice twist that pokes fun at the show’s predictable (yet undeniably delightful) plots.  

Brian O’Brien, the eponymous leprechaun, is a distant relative of Darren’s who has come from Ireland in search of his last remaining pot of gold.  Apparently leprechauns derive their magic from their gold, and Brian’s emergency stash was hidden in a fireplace that was transported to a neighbor's of the Stevens.  The neighbor—surprise!—also happens to be a wealthy businessman that Darren hopes to sign up as a client (aren't they all?).

Extreme Makeover: Shoe Edition

Darren refuses to help Brian, who slowly drinks his way through the Stevens’ entire liquor cabinet and adds giant buckles to Darren’s dress shoes.  After Brian makes a failed attempt at stealing back the gold and ends up in jail, Samantha agrees to help him. She uses her magic to sneak them into the neighbor’s house (memorably turning giant guard dogs into Chihuahuas).  Just as all seems well the neighbor/businessman appears with both the pot of gold and a loaded gun.

The man with the golden...pot.

After threatening to shoot, he quickly changes his mind upon learning that Brian is a leprechaun, as he himself is an Irishman.  He happily hands over the gold… and then grabs Brian and demands he grant him a wish.  Seriously, this guy goes through more mood swings in one scene than… I dunno, a mood ring or something else with a lot of moods.  He goes from gun-toting thug to cheerful Irish laddie to creepy kidnapper and then back to nice guy again.  For it turns out his wish is simply that Brian serve as mascot for his Irish lace company—but he’ll be paid and get full benefits (so why did he need to capture him instead of just offering him the job in the first place?!).

Brian O’Brien is quite delightful, as leprechauns go; he’s played by character actor Henry Jones, who appeared on a whole lot of TV shows over the course of several decades (there's an Ethel Award just waiting for him).  There are a lot of nice Irish touches in this episode as well, including even an Irish cop and the aforementioned reference to Irish lace.  What’s missing are my two favorite things about Bewitched: Endora and Mrs. Kravitz.  In my perfect world, there’s a Bewitched spin-off where Endora and Mrs. Kravitz are reluctant roommates and have wacky adventures together.  If I ever capture a leprechaun of my own, that will be my wish…

St. Patrick’s Day Quotient: Lots of Irish cheer to be found here, earning the episode a 3.

See It, Skip It, Own It?
It’s not one of Bewitched’s best, but it will do for some satisfying St. Patrick’s Day viewing.  Go ahead and take a gander.

BAR WARS III: THE RETURN OF TECUMESH

Cheers
Season 8 (1990)

My viewing of Cheers been scattershot and confined to Diane-centric episodes, as the character of Diane Chambers is, in my not-so-humble opinion, the show’s best asset. I’ve never ventured past Season 5, after which Shelley Long famously departed the show and was replaced by Kirstie Alley. Despite the switch, Cheers successfully went on for several more seasons, but my suspicions were confirmed after watching this Season 6 episode that a Diane-less Cheers is not a place where I want to go (nor does everyone know my name, but that’s a separate issue).

It makes sense that a show set in a bar would have several St. Patrick’s Day episodes.  This is part of a series of “Bar Wars” episodes that played out over the course of several seasons; at least one other one was set on St. Patrick’s Day and another on Halloween.  All of them involve an ongoing prank war with rival bar Gary’s Old Time Tavern.  

Cliff isn't wearing green in this picture!  Somebody pinch him!

The first ten minutes of this episode are quite promising, and brimming with St. Patty’s Day cheer.  Carla is even wearing shamrock earrings!  Rebecca has a very 90s green bow in her hair and pulls out a box of decorations (all of which have the bar’s name misspelled as “Chees”).  There are orders of Irish coffees and Frasier says that St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland is a Freudian dream.  Unfortunately after ten very festive minutes the holiday is over and we’re left with a stale “prank war” plot.

After the barflies notice that their cigar store Indian mascot (the titular Tecumesh) has gone missing, they suspect Gary’s Old Time Tavern.  They pull a prank of their own, only for Rebecca to reveal that she sent the Indian out for refinishing.  Fearing retaliation for their unprovoked prank, they decide to prank themselves first (their logic is fuzzy at best).  The episode ends with several of the guys getting Mohawks in the shape of Gary’s name—but then it’s revealed that Gary has been out of town and his bar closed the entire time.

Despite the very fun beginning, the rest of the episode is a reminder of why I avoided Cheers for a long time (before I discovered the delights of Diane): too many dopey male characters acting like dopes.  Middle-aged bros playing pranks is not my idea of a good time, nor does it have anything to do with St. Patrick’s Day.  Save your prank war episodes for April Fool’s Day or even Halloween; I’ll stick to the Irish coffees and the shamrock earrings.

St. Patrick’s Day Quotient: It would be higher if the whole episode lived up to the promising beginning, forcing me to give it a 3.

See It, Skip It, Own It?
See the first ten minutes (streaming now on Netflix) and skip the rest.

Drink Up!

ST. PATRICK'S DAY

The Office
Season 6 (2010)

Once upon a time my office had a sort of optional snow day.  Early in the work day the head honcho gave everyone the option of going home due to an impending snow storm.  Of course everyone jumped at the opportunity and quickly abandoned ship—everyone but my then boss.  No, she decided to stay and work ALL day.  Meanwhile my absent co-workers were sending me pictures of them frolicking in the snow while I sat in the deathly-quiet office.  Even the receptionist had gone home and most of the lights were turned out, but I had no choice but to stay as long as my boss did.  It was AGONY.  This episode of The Office perfectly captures that very situation, and compounds it by setting it on St. Patrick’s Day.

We open on St. Patty’s Day, with the Dunder Mifflin employees wearing their best green outfits and notorious lush Meredith revering the holiday as the most sacred of days.  It’s also the last day in the office for new owner Jo Bennett (played by the always welcome Kathy Bates) and Michael is doing his best to cozy up to her.  Of course he goes way overboard in his efforts, taking her casual comment to stop by and visit her sometime in Florida as an invitation to book multiple plane tickets.  Michael is taken aback when Jo finally loses it and chastises him in front of his employees.

Michael displays the ubiquitous St. Patrick's Day green tie

When the clock hits 5 and everyone is preparing to hit the town to celebrate the holiday, Jo decides to stay and work late. A now-timid Michael feels that he and everyone else must stay as well.  Thus the agonizing waiting game begins; a few people attempt escape but only Jim manages to successfully slip out, stealing Dwight’s idea of claiming he has a business dinner (Dwight had it coming, as throughout the episode he attempts to drive Jim out by making him feel guilty over being away from his newborn daughter).

Michael finally reclaims his gumption and tells Jo he’s releasing the staff, saying that he’s satisfied with the work they’ve done.  Jo respects this show of managerial authority and everything ends happily, with the gang celebrating at a pub.  While it’s a great episode, the St. Patrick’s Day stuff is really just window dressing, via the green outfits (Andy wears a kilt!) and office decorations.  We do get a couple of brief scenes set at rowdy pubs but the emphasis is definitely not on the holiday—though kudos to The Office for even doing a St. Patrick’s Day episode in the first place.

Drugstore decorations and kilts = holiday magic!

My favorite moment?  Early on we get a brief glimpse of receptionist Erin picking through a bag of M&Ms and slowly filling a candy dish with just the green ones.  It’s a small but true-to-life moment—I once spent a significant amount of time picking out Halloween-colored M&Ms for a party only to realize that Reese’s Pieces are all the autumn-colored candy you need.  Moments like these show the lengths people will go to be on-theme, and that’s something I can only respect and admire.

St. Patrick’s Day Quotient: 3

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Despite the rather low holiday quotient, this is a fun episode that's worth seeing—but you don’t have to rush.

ST. PATRICK'S DAY

30 Rock
Season 6 (2012)

You may have gathered from the recent dearth of posts that the various Valentine’s Day episodes I’ve been watching were leaving me rather uninspired.  While I can’t be counted among the V-Day “Hallmark holiday” haters (I could never truly hate any holiday), Valentine’s Day episodes were proving rather dull. Now we enter a new and exciting time, as the next few holidays are going to prove challenging in terms of ferreting out TV episodes.  St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Arbor Day and the rest of the spring holidays are not nearly as favored by sitcom writers, which makes the episodes that do exist rare and special.  I live for the obscure (even the semi-obscure) so this is going to be fun!

After that pep talk, my first St. Patrick’s Day post comes from a hardly obscure source, as 30 Rock is much beloved and well-known.  But I wanted to start with something I knew would be good, and 30 Rock never lets me down.  And with a main character named Jack Donaghy you just know that this show is going to deliver a solid ode to St. Patrick’s Day (actually two, as there is also Season 3’s “The Funcooker”).  

As typical of the modern, slightly schizophrenic sitcom style, we are treated to not one but three different storylines, all set in NYC on St. Patrick’s Day.  Our heroine Liz Lemon detests the holiday and plans on dressing all in orange and barricading herself in her apartment along with her boyfriend Criss in order to avoid the drunken masses.  Her plans are ruined when her douchey ex-boyfriend Dennis shows up and proceeds to drive a wedge between Liz and Criss by exposing her inability to say “I love you” (one of her evasions, as seen in flashback, is simply saying “Scooby Doo!”).

The orange-clad couple judge from their ivory apartment tower

Meanwhile Jenna and Tracy are tasked with live-hosting the St. Patrick’s Day parade, but they end up clashing on-air over who is the bigger celebrity.  Their boss Jack also finds himself at loose ends when he is beaten by a role-playing game that the writers are playing (they also stay in during St. Patrick’s day because they all have faces that invite punching).  Jack finds the difficult game, a parody of Settlers of Catan, to be a metaphor for his own stagnant career, though he eventually rallies and wins both the game and his confidence back.

After being unmasked by Dennis as being more Irish than she’d care to admit, Liz runs after Criss, braving the drunken hordes (she dons Incredible Hulk gloves, as they were the only green thing she owned).  Liz finally tells Chriss that she loves him, which is broadcast live via the parade.  The episodes ends with Jenna singing “Danny Boy,” because you can never go wrong with Jenna Maroney (aka Jane Krakowski) and her lovely singing voice.

Tracy Morgan makes for a surprisingly convincing leprechaun.  Also: hobgoblin.

Special events that inspire drinking, like St. Patrick’s Day, baseball games and the dreaded Santa Con (*shudder*) do tend to be nightmares in the city, especially on the subway.  So I can totally relate to Liz, though not to her wearing orange (that’s just wrong; I far prefer Jack’s shiny green tie in this episode).  I also loathed Settlers of Catan the one time I played it, so this episode was pretty much tailor-made for me, including even the Incredible Hulk gloves.  

If you’re looking to get in the Irish spirit this March but want to avoid the legions of “it’s a holiday so I can be a drunken asshole" assholes, you can model yourself after Liz and stay in and order Thai food.  Or follow my method: right after work go to the nearest pub in walking distance, gulp down a meal of corned beef and cabbage and get the hell out of there by 6 or 6:30.  Head home and settle in, content in the knowledge that you did your holiday pub duty while still making it home in time for brownies with green-mint icing and a viewing of Darby O’Gill and the Little People.

St. Patrick’s Day Quotient: 4

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Embrace your inner Irish: go watch this episode!