A PIECE OF CAKE

Golden Girls
Season 2 (1987)

Over the years Golden Girls had several anthology-style episodes, composed of several original, albeit short, segments held together by oh-so-subtle framing scenes (“That reminds me of the time…”). Anthology episodes aren’t usually my favorite, but then again some of the show’s best moments sprang from episodes of this type, as the birthday-themed “A Piece of Cake” proves.

We begin with the girls preparing a surprise birthday party for their friend Roberta.  Golden Girls was never that solid on continuity, so dear “Roberta” is never seen nor mentioned outside of this episode (she was condemned to the same limbo as Coco, the girls’ gay housekeeper seen only in the pilot).  Sophia realizes she forgot to bake the birthday cake, so as she bakes (and gets drunk on rum) the girls reminiscence about past birthdays.

The first segment is my favorite, as it involves Rose surprising Dorothy with a birthday celebration at Mr. Ha Ha’s Hot Dog Hacienda, a Chuckie Cheese-style kiddie restaurant.  Dorothy is not feeling the food (including something called a Cherry Burpee) or Mr. Ha Ha himself, an obnoxious clown.  Things go from bad to mortifying when she’s called up on stage with the other birthday kids and, as the oldest, is forced to lead the birthday parade.  My family and friends can tell you that I LOATHE being sung to at restaurants on my birthday (and for the record I am anti-picture taking in restaurants as well), so I can really relate to Dorothy in this scene, even more so than usual.

Argh!  And hello perfectly posed lady in the background!

There is also a weird moment when one of the kids, who kind of looks like a young ginger Ben Savage, has some dubbed dialogue.  And the dialogue is clearly being done by an adult woman trying to sound like a young boy.  It’s terrifyingly surreal.  You can also see "Bobby" clearly looking at and being directed by someone off-screen moments before he walks over to Dorothy with a piece of cake.  Shocking that Jeffrey Webber's career didn't take off after this episode and his only other screen credit as "Child" in something called "On Location: The Roseanne Barr Show" (thanks IMDB!).

The next segment is sad.  I mean, it’s bleak.  It’s a flashback to before Rose moved to Miami and gives us a rare glimpse at the oft-referenced St. Olaf. Her husband has recently died and so she has baked her own birthday cake, which she “surprises” herself with.  She then proceeds to talk to her husband’s ghost about how she’s moving because she can’t handle the memories of their old home.  The scene fades out on her cutting into her cake, by herself.  Alone.  A widow.  On her birthday.  Like I said, bleak.

Make the sadness stop...

The other two segments are a flashback to Sophia’s 50th birthday in New York and a surprise party the girls threw for Blanche.  The Sophia-Dorothy flashback scenes were never particular favorites of mine, though I bet Estelle Getty welcomed the chance to show people how much younger she was in real life, sans wig and old lady glasses.  The Blanche scene is more fun, for Rose invites all of the men from Blanche’s little black book to the party.  Back to the present and the girls make their way to the living room—only to turn around and surprise Blanche.  Turns out the birthday party is for her, one week early.  An all-male conga line appears from the lanai and everyone goes dancing into the sunset.

What’s not to love here?  Golden Girls is just sheer perfection.  Even when it's not that great it's still amazing, and when it's amazing it's AMAZING.  In an early scene in this episode Dorothy pops a balloon animal named Scotty that Rose makes.  In an episode of Maude that I recently watched, Maude (also played by Bea Arthur) pops a balloon being held by Vivian (played by Rue McClanahan).  I really hope on Bea Arthur’s resume, under “Special Skills” it listed “Disdainful Balloon Popping.”  Nobody does it better than Bea!

Dorothy goes in for the kill

Birthday Quotient: 5

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Do I really need to say it?  Own it.

TWENTY-ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER

Gilmore Girls
Season 6 (2005)

Not many WB shows can boast former Secretary of State Madeline Albright as a guest star, but Gilmore Girls was a classy kind of show (Christiane Amanpour and Norman Mailer also logged guest appearances during the show's run)   Early on in this Season 6 episode Rory has a dream in which Madeline shows up to wish her a happy birthday, just one of many reasons to love this birthday bonanza.  

This episode of Gilmore Girls ranks in my Top 25 list for many reasons.  It takes place during one of my favorite seasons, during which Lorelai and Rory were estranged, Lorelai and Luke were engaged, and Rory was living with her grandparents (aka “The Pool House Era”). This episode marks the beginning of their reconciliation, showcases Emily Gilmore at her absolute bitchy best and a trademark lavish Gilmore party.  It’s also the show’s one true Halloween episode, though the Halloween-related scenes are minor (and I’ll keep them in reserve for an October post).  A dollhouse is even featured in the opening scene—all of my favorite things in one episode!

Rory’s 21st birthday is fast approaching, and both mother and daughter are feeling blue.  For years they planned to be in Atlantic City, playing blackjack at midnight and then buying 21 souvenirs and kissing 21 men.  Now, however, they’re not even speaking.  Emily offers to throw Rory a party, and we’re treated to scenes of invitation selection, cake-tasting and Emily ordering around the hired help (always a treat).

Amidst the elaborate party preparations Emily and Richard suspect that Rory is sleeping with her boyfriend Logan. They invite their pastor over to awkwardly interrogate Rory over dinner, a memorable and hilarious scene in which she reveals that the ship has long since sailed in terms of her virginity. 

The party itself takes up the final third of the episode, and it’s a real treat.  Everyone shows up, including “Rory’s Asian friend” (as Emily insists on calling Lane), Paris, Logan, Lorelai and Luke.  Lorelai feels awkward at her own daughter’s party, interacting with Rory’s new middle-aged DAR friends and drinking the signature cocktail, a pink concoction named “the Rory” that Luke describes as tasting like a liquefied My Little Pony.  While Richard sulks in his study and fights with Emily over Rory’s lack of direction, Lorelai and Luke end up leaving early.

Proudly Presenting the Rory!

All parties can be judged by the guests, the food, and the general ambiance, and Rory’s 21st birthday bash delivers on all three counts.  There’s lots of familial drama and awkward interactions between guests.  There is also a lot of emphasis on and discussion about the party’s “chocolate boxes” (which are apparently exactly what they sound like—a sort of dessert/favor for all of the guests), the Rory cocktail and the catered sushi.  Finally, for ambiance there’s the gorgeous Gilmore mansion and Emily’s sparkling silver blouse.  

And for the record, I would LOVE to sip a Rory while attending an Emily Gilmore soiree.  The pinker the drink the better!

Birthday Quotient: 4

See It, Skip It, Own It?
All of Gilmore Girls is worth watching and owning—but feel free to skip Season 7.