FILM FOCUS: THE SCREAM TEAM

The Scream Team is one of many Halloween-themed Disney Channel original movies.  My only knowledge of it was that it co-starred Kathy Najimy as a ghost, and that was certainly enough to pique my interest.  Upon finally watching it yesterday (it first aired in 2002), I was pleased to discover that the Halloween-theme was prominent.  Too many of the “spooky” Disney Channel movies rely on supernatural elements and throw in a pumpkin or two in the background for Halloween cred.  The Scream Team actually takes place around Halloween and incorporates the holiday into the plot.

And what a plot!  What a convoluted, overly-complicated, disparate plot!  The movie begins by showing a grandfather’s corpse, dead in his chair as the paramedics arrive. I thought this was a weirdly bold (and potentially traumatizing) move for a Disney Channel movie.  We then cut to a flashback of the still-alive grandfather working on a pumpkin carving machine with his two grandchildren.  Between the early appearance of a corpse and pumpkin carving I had overly high expectations going in.

Things settled down quickly as the next thirty minutes were spent setting up the aforementioned complicated plot.  Dead grandfather was an inventor and former hardware store owner in a small New Englandy town called Steeplechase.  His adult son was embittered toward his father (I mean, really, REALLY bitter; he spent a lot of the movie complaining about his father) but his two grandkids loved him.  One of the grandkids is played by a young Kat Dennings, of Two Broke Girls and a few random movies fame.  I have never seen Kat Dennings play anything but a sarcastic wiseass and that’s what she’s doing here as well, though a milder pre-teen version.  She also engages in some of the worst, fakest on-screen running I’ve ever seen.  Meant to be running for her life in the woods at one point, she instead is laughing and sort of doing the chicken dance with her arms.  Even at a tender age, Kat Dennings was too steeped in irony to pretend to run for her life.

Eventually, after way too much set-up, the ghosts show up.  It’s hopelessly complicated, but in essence Grandpa’s ghost gets captured by a local evil spirit, and the kids track down some other ghosts to a limbo-like waystation for spirits.  The waystation is a total rip-off of the bureaucratic underworld seen in the movie Beetlejuice, down to the fact that the ghosts all appear in the same clothes they died in.  It’s an eclectic mix; spotted among the ghosts are cheerleaders, soccer players, a movie usher and a mime.  This movie would have you believe that people die constantly while engaged in their seemingly non-dangerous day jobs (which I don’t know—maybe that’s true?).

In short, the kids team up with a trio of ghosts who work at the waystation to rescue their grandfather’s spirit and usher him on to heaven (or potentially hell—this is never discussed in the movie.  The spirits just walk through a mirror into a sort of rainbow tunnel).  Erik Idle plays Coffinhead, a Revolutionary War ghost with bad teeth.  Kathy Najimy is the less-creatively-named Mariah, a ghost bride and sort of office manager.  And finally there’s Tommy Davidson as Jumper, a dead parachuter.  I’ve never seen Tommy Davidson in anything else before, but he was incredibly annoying in this.  He shouted all of his dialogue with an overload of sassiness.  Think of Chris Tucker’s character in Rush Hour, but even louder and sassier, and dressed as a parachuter.  Weirdly the ghosts only ever refer to themselves as “the Soul Patrol,” yet the movie is titled The Scream Team.

There is way, way more to the plot, involving a pyromaniac Pilgrim ghost with a thirst for revenge, a conspiring local businessman, stolen library books, an abandoned mine, the town’s first natural gas pipe system, and it goes on and on.  There is much running around with Erik Idle’s character disappearing every time the kids get into trouble, several run-ins with local cops, and the entire time the dad character is just bitching about not getting enough love and respect from his own father while his kids are fleeing for their lives (or in Kat Dennings’ case, chicken-dancing for her life) from a fireball-hurling spirit of vengeance.

Kathy Najimy (predictably, as she can do no wrong in my eyes) was the highlight, though of the three ghosts her role was the smallest.  She added some needed humor as the flustered office admin ghost who just wants to get on with her job, but at one point she morphs into a total bad-ass and has a supernatural showdown with the evil ghost and shoots ghost-lasers (or something) at him.  The special effects run the gamut; the shimmery, multi-colored flying ghosts are actually kind of cool, but there is also some laughably bad CGI fire throughout.

The other highlight of the movie is the Halloween décor and small-town festival.  Seriously, I love fictional small-town holiday festivals—call it the Stars Hollow effect.  Throughout the story the town is preparing for its annual Halloween festival, and we see truckloads of pumpkins and hay bales being delivered, and several trips are made to the most lavishly decorated library you’ll ever see (it even has a fireplace decked out with cobwebs, ravens and fake fall leaves).  The big finale takes place at the festival on Halloween, where the evil ghost hurls fireballs at the Ferris wheel and the locals burn a pumpkin-headed effigy.  As I wrote at the beginning of this overly long review, they certainly didn’t skimp on the Halloween décor.  Sadly they also didn’t skimp on the plot elements either, which were dizzying. 

The screenwriter (or writers) clearly had daddy issues since the movie essentially ends with the whiny dad sitting down with his father’s ghost for a heart to heart talk.  Those two kids risked life and limb for two hours to save their grandfather's immortal soul and then at the end when finally reunited with his ghost they say a quick goodbye and scurry upstairs to give their dad some private time to work out his feelings.  In the end, The Scream Team isn’t one of Disney Channel’s best Halloween offerings (I would give that award to Halloweentown), but it’s got a few things in its favor and makes for some good cheesy fun, with lots of nice glimpses at a New England town done up for Halloween.

SOUNDS OF THE SEASON: SAD SONGS FOR MOTHER'S DAY

To celebrate the approach of Mother’s Day, I present to you a trio of three seemingly unassuming animated scenes/songs about mothers that will give you an emotional punch to the gut. 

I’m not sure why, but over the years animated films and shows have brought us some of the most heart-wrenching songs about mothers and motherhood.  Maybe it’s because they are aimed at children and mothers play a big role in their day-to-day lives, or maybe most animators have a lot of guilt over treating their mothers badly?  Whatever the reason, these songs are guaranteed to trigger your “rush to the phone and call your mom to thank her for everything” instinct.  

First up is "Your Mother and Mine" from Disney's 1953 animated film Peter Pan.  We bought the Blu-Ray edition and recently re-watched Peter Pan, and let me tell you I forgot how dark this movie is.  Peter Pan is seriously dickish and Tinker Bell and the mermaids tooare basically homicidal.  Don't get me wrong-- none of the above diminishes my enjoyment of the movie, which is firmly ensconced in my Top 25 Animated Disney Films list.  I just didn't remember how much refreshingly sour was mixed in the sweet.  There's also this tremendously sad scene, in which Wendy guilt trips the Lost Boys and her brothers via song.  The lyrics and tone of the song are quite melancholy by themselves, but when you remember that the Lost Boys are all either orphans or runaways (or kidnap victims-- I wouldn't put it past Peter) it adds an extra layer of sadness over the proceedings. You'll be sobbing like Smee by the end, and no need to wipe off your own war paint, because your tears will do it for you:

Feeling the blues yet?  If not, this next little ditty should do the trick.  From one of my current favorites, Disney Channel's wildly successful animated series Sofia the First, comes this song from last year's Mother's Day episode.  Sofia's mom, formerly a commoner, married the king and Sofia got herself a stepdad and two step-siblings (she also got a castle, servants, a magical amulet granting her the ability to talk to animals, and enrolled in a school run by fairies  But I'm not jealous.  Not at all).  But in this poignant song Sofia expresses her melancholy at having to now share her mom's affections.  Yes, she's singing to her witch friend but don't let her presence distract you from this heartfelt and surprisingly catchy song:

"Me and my mooooommmmm...."

You are crying now, right?  If not I must assume you are some sort of robot.  And not the emotional replicant kind yearning to be human, but some sort of Terminator assassin type sent to the past to read blogs about holiday-themed media.

Okay, I saved the saddest for lastest.  One of the most overlooked gems of the 80s is 1987's The Chimpunk Adventure.  This animated movie was a staple of my childhood; my sister and I rented it from our local video store religiously, along with our two other holy scriptures, The Muppets Take Manhattan and Troop Beverly Hills.  The story, which involves the Chipmunks and Chipettes in a hot-air balloon race around the world, collecting dolls secretly stuffed with diamonds by smugglers, is bananas in the best way.  There are thrilling action sequences, gender politics, and fascinating geo-politics at work here.  And the music!  "Diamond Dolls" is seriously one of the greatest songs EVER.  I listen to it constantly.  "The Girls & Boys of Rock & Roll" is a close second.  There's also a pretty racist song about Mexico and siestas that we'll conveniently ignore right now.

And then there's "My Mother."  Both the song itself and the scene that contains it are heartBREAKING.  The song is devastatingly sad on its own, but when coupled with the "sick penguin who needs to be reunited with its mother" storyline and visuals...just try and resist the sadness.  Just to up the ante, here is the scene and song from the movie playing simultaneously with a modern-day toddler's reaction.  This little girl is me in 1987 watching the movie and me now.  She is feeling ALL the emotions.  This is also a commentary on the modern state of parenting, where you record your child's heartfelt emotions and broadcast them to the world.  I've tried to adequately prepare you, I truly have.  Now watch:

Okay, that's it.  Time to go call my mom.  

WALT DISNEY PRESENTS: I CAPTURED THE KING OF THE LEPRECHAUNS

Walt Disney’s Darby O’Gill and the Little People is must-see St. Patrick’s Day fare for a lot of folks.  Disney fanatic I may be, but Darby has never a particular favorite of mine (I’m more of a Gnome Mobile person, if given a choice between little people-themed live action 60s Disney movies).  So rather than write about Darby itself, I instead elected to watch and review this episode of Walt Disney Presents (a show also known over its long run as Disneyland, Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color, The Wonderful World of Disney and so on and so on).  Turner Classic Movies recently re-aired this special about the making of the Darby film as part of their “Treasures From the Disney Vault” series.  It stars Walt Disney himself and is essentially an hour-long commercial for the Darby film framed as Walt’s trip to Ireland in search of leprechauns for his movie because he’s told “only a leprechaun can play a leprechaun.”

Let's head back to 1959, when this special aired, a time when people still threw around the word "midgets" and smoked a lot onscreen. The episode begins with Walt getting a pep talk from Irish-American actor Pat O’Brien.  Pat struts around a very late 50s-looking living room, smoking a pipe and extolling the virtues of Irish men (“and a few women, too” he says rather begrudgingly).  It’s Pat that urges Walt to fly to Ireland in search of real leprechauns.  Once in Ireland (he arrives via stock footage of an airplane), Walt consults with an Irish librarian who shows him a suit of miniature clothes and gives him a dose of Irish mythology.  Then Walt is off to a local village, where he next teams up with actor Albert Sharpe, in character as Darby O’Gill himself.  

Walt and Darby hang out in some fog-shrouded ruins where they eventually encounter some leprechauns and demand to meet the leprechaun king.  They hang out in the king’s throne room, do some fiddling, and King Brian agrees to lend Walt all the leprechauns he needs for his movie.  Walt then heads back to the states for another confab with Pat O’Brien, who this time smokes a giant cigar instead of a pipe (I can only assume Pat O’Brien died of lung cancer).  We’re then treated to a series of clips and scenes introducing the characters from Darby O’Gill, including a neat sequence with a ghostly banshee and a spectral horse and carriage.

I have to admit all of the above was a bit less than compelling.  It was neat to see Walt Disney playing a version of himself. As Leonard Maltin said in his introduction, it’s interesting to see a living, breathing Walt here who’s not just a brand, which is more the version I grew up with.  Certainly this was chockfull of vintage 60s goodness (the living room décor was especially delightful).  But since everything revolves around Darby, which again is not a particular favorite of mine, I wasn’t exactly enthralled by the proceedings.  Add in Pat O’Brien’s long stretches of pontificating and smoking and the fact that this hour-long special is almost as long as the movie Darby O’Gill and the Little People itself, and you’ve got a curious relic of TV days gone by.  

This special may have been a bit of a snoozer (and, since it was in black and white, lacking the vibrant green hues one hopes for in a St. Patrick’s Day special), but it’s a fitting tribute to Walt Disney’s seemingly boundless imagination as well as his incredible marketing savvy—only Uncle Walt could so cleverly disguise a commercial for family entertainment as family entertainment, and manage to promote so many things at once: his movies, Disneyland, and even himself.

FILM FOCUS: THE ADVENTURES OF ICHABOD AND MR. TOAD

For Christmas Nick and I got a Disney gift card and I knew right away what I wanted to use my portion for: a DVD copy of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad.  I grew up with this criminally overlooked Disney classic, which we watched every October.  The nostalgia factor aside, re-watching it this year has confirmed that this is truly one of the best things Disney ever produced.  For the purposes of this blog post I’ll be looking solely at the “Ichabod” portion of the film, both because it’s the part related to Halloween but also because it’s always been my favorite half of this dual feature (sorry, Mr. Toad!  But your ride is awesome!).

I’m going to assume you’re familiar with the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, whether this Disneyfied version, the original Washington Irving tale, or one of the countless adaptations.  Instead of a synopsis I’m going to examine some of the many reasons why Ichabod has always captured my heart and imagination. 

First and foremost, this film looks beautiful.  If, like me, you pine for the old days of hand-drawn animation you will be in heaven watching Ichabod.  My favorite Disney artist is Mary Blair and her style and flair is easily identifiable here.  Blair was known for her somewhat abstract, brightly colored paintings and while she mostly did concept art for some notable Disney films and attractions, here her work is translated to the screen most directly.  Seriously, I would frame the many gorgeous shots of the New England countryside, all of which were clearly shaped by Blair’s slightly surreal touch.  My lifelong infatuation of covered bridges, New England villages and even autumn itself clearly springs from repeat viewings of this stylized Colonial wonderland.

While re-watching the film this year I was also struck by its many similarities to my all-time favorite Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast.  Both movies open with a quaint village and feature lots of beautiful autumnal backgrounds.  Brom Bones and Gaston are almost the same character in both looks and demeanor. Things end better for Brom than they do for Gaston, but it’s easy to see Ichabod’s influence on Beauty and the Beast. 

That being said, Ichabod has a moral ambiguity that you’d be hard-pressed to find in current Disney films.  Ichabod Crane may be the protagonist of the piece but he’s hardly a cookie-cutter Disney hero.  Rather he’s a gluttonous, money-grubbing coward.  Even his attraction to Katrina seems based more on her wealth than anything else.  It’s also the rare Disney film where the villain, in the form of Brom Bones, essentially wins at the end, as Ichabod is driven out of town and Brom marries Katrina (and she seems very happy with the arrangement).

Ah, Katrina!  She easily makes my Top 10 Favorite Disney Characters list.  Katrina is far sexier than your average Disney heroine; she’s got ample cleavage and is a shameless flirt.  She manipulates both Ichabod and Brom throughout the story and in the end she prefers Brom’s brawn to Ichabod’s intelligence.  She’s even called a coquette in the song about her!  Katrina, like this entire film in general, is underutilized by modern-day Disney.  It’s next to impossible to find any merchandise featuring her-- or Ichabod and the Headless Horseman, for that matter.  What I wouldn’t give for an Ichabod dark ride in Disney World’s Liberty Square!  The film isn’t totally unrepresented in the parks—there is a Sleepy Hollow snack stand in the aforementioned Liberty Square and the Headless Horseman gallops down Main Street every year to kick off Disney World's Halloween parade.

For all my gushing, I've barely touched on the Halloween aspects (and they are plentiful) of the film. Aside from the gorgeous fall landscapes and the Headless Horseman himself, we're treated to my favorite on-screen Halloween party at the Van Tassel farmstead.  It's not even called a party but rather a "frolic."  Now forevermore I too will only host frolics. The Van Tassel Halloween frolic is a feast for the eyes: cornstalks and pumpkins and squashes abound.  And the food!  I forgot how much of Ichabod (both the character and the film) is focused on food.  Over the course of the short movie we watch him devour turkeys, salad, pies and a huge assortment of foods at the Halloween festivities.  Including what looks like red velvet cake, long before it was trendy.

Clearly I could go on and on about The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad so I'll end things for now and surely revisit the topic next Halloween.  Despite it's short running time and many repeat viewings there's always something new to discover about it and enjoy.

FILM FOCUS: THE LUCK OF THE IRISH

I am an unabashed fan of Disney Channel original movies; I haven’t kept up as much in recent years but I have watched and enjoyed many in my time.  Some even achieve a sort of low-budget brilliance (Don’t Look Under the Bed, Wish Upon a Star and the Halloweentown franchise spring to mind).  In addition to a host of Christmas and Halloween-themed movies over the years, in 2001 the Disney Channel made a stab at St. Patrick’s Day with The Luck of the Irish.  Even with pre-lowered expectations The Luck of the Irish proved to be both a bit painful to sit through and, at times, absurdly delightful—in other words the usual mix one encounters with a made-for-television movie.

The plot is your basic “preteen discovers he is a half-paranomal creature,” well-trod territory that’s been covered with everything from witches to mermaids.  Naturally in this case our hero learns he is half-leprechaun (on his mother’s side) once he starts shrinking, his hair turns red and his ears grow pointed.  Kyle (played by Ryan Merriman) must then battle an evil senior leprechaun who steals his family’s good luck in the form of a magical coin Kyle normally wears around his neck.  In the process he’s reunited with his estranged leprechaun grandfather, who runs a potato chip factory (as one does).

Even at a trim hour and a half (with commercials) The Luck of the Irish dragged; it had a few good lunatic moments but way too much basketball (which the main character plays…and plays…and plays).  Weirdly, this is the second "leprechaun playing basketball" bit of media I've consumed this month, after reading Leprechauns Don't Play Basketball.  I think I've discovered a new subgenre!  

There is a nice scene in the movie set at a lavish Irish festival, complete with carnival rides, Irish step dancing and booths selling all sorts of Irish wares.  Kyle’s mom, who morphs into a full leprechaun early on, also brings some charm as she cooks disgusting Irish breakfasts and struggles to unbuckle her seatbelt while in miniature form. But the real draw here is the villain, Seamus McTiernan.

Firstly, of course the villain’s name is “Seamus.”  Aren’t they all?  Seamus starts out as the leader of the Irish step dancers, wearing a rather flamboyant green silk blouse.  As the movie progresses he starts to increasingly lose his shit, engaging in an RV car chase and challenging the young hero to a sporting competition (which involves throwing wagon wheels, dancing, and hurling boulders).  But it’s during the penultimate basketball game showdown between the good leprechauns and the evil middle-aged ones (don’t ask) that Seamus goes from campy antagonist to the stuff of nightmares.  

When it looks like Seamus will lose the basketball game he literally changes from normal-looking dude to utterly freaky leprechaun-monster (still wearing his basketball uniform though).  Don’t believe the level of freakiness?  Take a look at this pic and see if you can spot which player is Seamus:

Argh!  He’s basically Satan if Satan was a basketball-playing leprechaun.  Despite the boost of zaniness that Seamus provides everything else about the movie is rather flat: the slow-moving story, the poor acting, and the lack of actual St. Patrick’s Day (it’s never specified when the movie takes place, but the holiday is never mentioned).  It was also rather distractingly filmed in Utah, and it shows. 

Even more distracting is the final message of this Irish-themed film, which is basically “the U.S. is awesome!”  While Kyle ultimately embraces his inner leprechaun, towards the end of the movie he makes several comments about how in America you can be whatever you want by working hard.  He ends up banishing Seamus to the shores of Lake Eerie and the final scene is Kyle standing in front of an American flag and leading a crowd in a group sing of “This Land is Your Land.”  So happy St. Patrick’s Day everybody!  But in the mixed-message spirit of The Luck of the Irish, don't have too happy of a holiday because the U.S. is ultimately best.  Happy Fourth of July, everybody!

FILM FOCUS: HOCUS POCUS

Hocus Pocus is the moon landing of my generation. The question among my peers is not “Have you seen Hocus Pocus?” but “Where were you when you first saw Hocus Pocus?”  It is a litmus test against which all other Halloween movies will forever be judged: “It was good, but it wasn’t as good as Hocus Pocus.”  I will not insult you by offering up any sort of synopsis, as it must be assumed that you have seen Hocus Pocus many, many times and if not that you are locked away in some sort of Siberian gulag and therefore do not have access to this blog post in the first place.

Besides being a great movie (it makes my Top 100 list) it’s the greatest Halloween movie ever made for, unlike many other so-called Halloween films, the emphasis is on the holiday itself.  The majority of the movie takes place on Halloween night and every possible Halloween related thing is thrown in: witches, trick-or-treating, lavishly decorated suburban houses, Satan (in the form of Gary Marshall), a costume party with a skeleton band, a zombie, a graveyard, a talking black cat.  True there is a distinct lack of vampires, but the Dad is costumed as Dracula just to cover the bases.  It’s like they made a Halloween checklist and made sure to include everything.

Thackery Binx (not Zachary).  This picture alone is so Halloween I can hardly stand it!

I was thrilled when, during the Bette Midler episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio, host James Lipton asked Midler about Hocus Pocus.  She further cemented the movie’s worthiness by describing it as “one of my finest hours.”

The movie has mass kid and nostalgia appeal, but it also has major queer appeal, which makes sense given that it was directed by Kenny Ortega, a gay man who later went on to craft another jewel in the Disney cinema crown, the even gayer High School Musical series.  Here are some of the things that make Hocus Pocus gay:  Better Midler (bonus gay points for the inclusion of Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker).  The “I Put a Spell On You” number.  The mom vouging while dressed as Madonna in the cone bra.  The Sanderson sisters are essentially drag queens.  Plus the hero of the film is bullied, a sadly relatable state of affairs for most queer people.

 

My favorite scene: Medusa, Satan, slow-dancing, Clark bars.

People (mostly my boyfriend) got very, VERY excited when the internets reported that a sequel, Hocus Pocus 2: Rise of the Elder Witch, was in the works.  It was a total hoax and that horror-movie sounding subtitle should have been the tip-off.  As long as all three actresses (this is the one and only thing I like Sarah Jessica Parker in) returned as the Sanderson Sisters I'm there.  But we need more than a sequel.  We need a ride at Disneyland.  We need a Criterion Collection Blu Ray release.  We need in-theater retrospectives every October and statues of the Sanderson Sisters erected in Salem next to the statue of Samantha Stevens.  We need Hocus Pocus in our lives every October and, per tradition, it's what we'll be watching tonight as the grand finale of the Halloween season.  

Hocus Pocus = Halloween.

Happy Halloween from the Sanderson Sisters & me!