CHEESEBURGERS IN PARADISE

Salute Your Shorts

Season 1 (1991)

When I think of summer camp, I immediately think of Salute Your Shorts.  While re-watching just the first scene of “Cheeseburgers in Paradise” I was immediately struck by how my childhood favorite, Salute Your Shorts, and Orange Is the New Black, one of my current TV favorites, are exactly the same show.  The opening scene of this episode has the red-haired bully Budnick dealing contraband food disguised as everyday objects.  Orange Is the New Black has the character of Red, who deals in contraband food.  Counselor Ug is just like the prison guard Pornstache.  Both shows deal with confinement, rule-breaking, bullies, bad cafeteria food—this episode of Salute Your Shorts even has a prison break of sorts!  The list of similarities is endless..

First, a programming note: the version of this episode that I have, purchased from iTunes (also on Amazon), is titled "Cheeseburgers in Paradise."  However online it's widely called "Donkeylips and Sponge Weigh In."  I can't verify which once is the correct title, but both work well enough.

Now, a warning: watching this particular episode of Salute Your Shorts will make you hungry.  It’s all about food: good food, bad food, and the repercussions of food on all of our lives.  In this episode campers Sponge and Donkeylips are both trying to enter a wrestling competition, the winner of which gets a lobster dinner at a fancy restaurant (because kids go crazy for lobster!).  Sponge is underweight and Donkeylips overweight, so resident jock Telly serves as their trainer, having them respectively bulk up on bananas and run laps.  As a kid I was the size of wispy Sponge—sadly as an adult I find myself relating to Donkeylips.  Times sure have changed-- I’m going to the gym when I finish writing this post!

Meanwhile the other campers, disgusted by the camp’s “Bratwurst Surprise,” are plotting to order food from a local hamburger joint.  Budnick eventually forces Sponge and Donkeylips to go and buy the contraband food, with Ug hot on their trail.  Despite a series of mishaps they managed to smuggle the food into camp and everyone devours it before Ug discovers them.  However when it comes time for their final weigh-in, both boys have the food wrappers stuffed under their clothes and they can’t shed the extra weight without busting everyone.  Don’t worry; it has a happy ending, as they both manage to meet their weight goals even with the burger wrappers stuffed down their sweatshirts.

This episode is surprisingly poignant, as both Sponge and Donkeylips bond over being bullied about their size.  The friendship that grows between them is really sweet and genuine, especially for Donkeylips, who only wants to win a wrestling trophy to impress his neglectful parents.  Even Ug, normally the antagonist, is rather nice and supportive in this episode, as he’s rooting for the boys to make their goals.

And then there’s the food!  Sponge and Donkeylips sneak off to a place that’s called “The Tummy Pleaser.”  For such a small place in the middle of the woods, it has an impressively large menu: burgers, tuna salad, pies, tacos, tamales, and frozen yogurt are all seen or advertised.  The scene in which the kids wolf down their burgers will have you hearing the siren song of McDonald’s.  Even better, the music that plays during the eating montage is the same music heard in beloved TV special The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t!  One scene has kids eating hamburgers and the other a witch flying across the night sky, but the score is one and the same.  This type of TV synergy is what I live for!

Apparently I'm not the only one with fond memories of this episode, because someone created this awesome fan art of Donkeylips carting Sponge to The Tummy Pleaser in a wheelbarrow:

Camp Activities: Wrestling, Running the Mile, Eating

Camp Quotient: It’s pretty darn campy, earning a 4.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

I think I’ve effectively established that Salute Your Shorts is awesome.  Sadly only about half of the series is available for purchase via download. We need a full DVD release!

CAMP FEAR

Daria

Season 5 (2001)

I suppose I would be remiss in writing about on-screen summer camps without briefly acknowledging my own summer camp experience (or lack thereof).  While my sister and I went to some summer day camps as kids, it wasn’t until the sixth grade that I actually went, along with the rest of my class, to an overnight camp for a week.  But it wasn’t in the summer; it was early spring and rather gray and drizzly, as the camp was near the California coast town of Bodega Bay (where Hitchcock filmed The Birds).  

Camp Caritas Creek was a Christian environmentalist camp because that’s the sort of camp they send you to when you go to Catholic school.  We did things like solo hikes to commune with God (the solo night hike was particularly terrifying) and put on skits about the evils of Styrofoam containers. I took a paper-making class and my bunk was terrorized by our counselor, who would take off his belt as if to whip us with it (but when one enterprising bunk-mate snapped a photo of him waving his belt around he brought us candy in exchange for our silence).  

I was not a fan of camp; I was semi-homesick but mostly I hated any activity that segregated the boys from the girls, thereby cutting me off from my entire social world.  I did manage to join all three camp clubs, qualifying by kissing a banana slug (the massive creatures were native to the camp), dunking my head in a freezing-cold stream (The Polar Bear Club) and slipping in some mud (I think it was called the Wipeout Club).   Camp was something I endured as opposed to enjoyed, so I could really relate to Season 5 episode of Daria.

Since my friend Jackie recently asked if everything on the blog would include Roseanne and Daria, naturally I decided to start off with a camp-themed episode of Daria!  In “Camp Fear” Daria and her sister Quinn receive invitations to a Camp Grizzly reunion.  Naturally Quinn is all about it, as she was popular and enjoyed camp (a good gag in this episoe is that Quinn’s old camp friends are perfect mirrors of her Fashion Club cronies).  Daria is less enthused but is given the choice of returning to camp or cleaning out the garage.  The sisters are driven to Camp Grizzly by siblings Jane and Trent, who are looking to explore the surrounding area and, on Trent’s part, do some soul-searching.

Once arriving at Camp Grizzly Daria and Quinn quickly fall into old patterns. Quinn spends time with her passive-aggressive mean girls clique and Daria tries to avoid Amelia, a former fellow camper who follows her around like a lost puppy.  To Daria’s credit Amelia is SUPER annoying, endlessly repeating everything Daria says and does.  When Daria finally gets fed up and tells Amelia off, Amelia ends up making a speech denouncing the camp and it’s maniacally-enthused leader, Skip.  All of the campers join in Amelia’s rebellion and Daria’s position as camp weirdo is somewhat reevaluated, as Amelia credits her as her inspiration in reforming Camp Grizzly.

The flashback scenes of young Quinn and Daria at camp are great fun, as the sisters remain true to form even as kids.  Skip’s rabid enthusiasm for all-things camp is a familiar TV trope but we’ve all probably known Skips in our lives—the guys or gals who really loved pep rallies and rooting on the home team while all I want to do is go be by myself and read a book (Young Daria brings Animal Farm with her to camp—good choice!).  The episode is bogged down by Jane and Trent’s weird side trip to a country general store, where they end up taste-testing flavorless potato chips made by a kindly-yet-idiotic couple.  It’s as weird and pointless as it sounds. 

Camp Activities: Arts & Crafts (Keychain-Making), Color Wars, Hiking, Horseback Riding, The Watermelon Game (Diving into a Lake to Capture a Greased-Up Watermelon), End of Summer Bonfire

Camp Quotient: Camp Grizzly really packs a lot of summer activities into one episode, even if they are more referenced than seen, earning this episode a 3.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

“Camp Fear” isn’t one of Daria’s strongest efforts, especially due to the silly Jane and Trent subplot.  It pains me to say it, but you can probably skip this one.