THE 25 GREATEST TV MOMS: THE FINAL 5

We've reached the grand finale of our countdown of the 25 Greatest TV Moms!  The last five ladies on the list are all near and dear to my heart and have provided hours of entertainment over the years.  Let's see if you agree with my choices--enjoy!

5. Emily Gilmore
Show: Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore may be the cool mom who you want to be friends with, but Emily Gilmore is the TV mom I most want to watch.  Yes, she has firm ideas about what’s right and wrong, proper and improper.  But it’s the strength of her convictions that make Emily so entertaining, whether she’s bossing around maids or planning one of her famous parties.  Emily was the one who engineered the show’s Friday Night Dinners as a way of reaffirming her relationship with her daughter and granddaughter, and more than once she displayed her softer side in her efforts to connect with free-spirited Lorelai.  She’s the perfect combination of bitchy and tender, a sharp dresser with an even sharper tongue.  That’s my kind of mother!

Episode to Watch: “Emily in Wonderland”
Emily visits her daughter and granddaughter on their home turf of Stars Hollow.

4. Edina Monsoon
Show: Absolutely Fabulous

Edina, trapped in a state of perpetual adolescence, is mothered by her own daughter.  Saffron provides the lectures, cleans up Eddy’s messes, and reminds her to pay the bills.  There isn’t a holiday or birthday that Eddy doesn’t forget, and she’s never shy about insulting Saffy’s appearance, choice of friends, or life path.  Eddy and Saffy’s screwed-up mother-daughter dynamic is one of the best ever shown on screen, hilarious and dysfunctional but not lacking in love.  Eddy’s a mess but she still loves Saffy, and Saffy still loves Eddy despite her years of neglect, and it’s this undercurrent (however faint) of love that redeems them both.

Episode to Watch: “Paris”
Eddy and Saffy head to Paris for a mother-daughter fashion shoot, but their different styles of tourism clash.

3. Ida Morgenstern
Show: The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Ida was a strong contender for the number one spot on this list.  Few actresses have ever better epitomized the Jewish mother archetype than Nancy Walker.  Ida was fiercely loving of her daughters (and her daughter’s friend Mary).  She was also overbearing, constantly matchmaking and a master of the guilt trip.  Only Ida could gift and then guilt Mary into wearing two scarves at once to prove she liked both equally, or barge into Lou Grant’s office (and mistake him for Murray).  Her diminutive size didn’t prevent her from bulldozing everyone around her—but she just wants you to be happy, okay?  And she knows a very nice man who would be perfect for you…

Episode to Watch: “Support Your Local Mother”
Rhoda refuses to see her mom when she visits, so Ida stays with Mary instead and quickly drives her crazy by treating her like a surrogate daughter

2. Roseanne Conner
Show: Roseanne

Roseanne may not be refined, or soft, or sweet but what she was was real.  She stressed over having enough money to pay the bills.  She worked a series of crappy jobs (waitress, telemarketer, hair sweeper-upper) to make ends meet.  Her house wasn’t the cleanest or her kids super well behaved.  She wasn’t above playing Halloween pranks on her own family or yelling at them. She was also the kind of mom you could count on to forgive your mistakes and always welcome you back home.  We would all be lucky to have a mom like Roseanne, warts and all.

Episode to Watch: “Home Ec”
Roseanne gives Becky’s home ec class a lesson in real world household management (it involves meatloaf).

1. Marie Barone
Show: Everybody Loves Raymond

I’ve noticed a running theme with all of my top five choices.  All of them manage to be both maddening and entirely lovable at the same time. All of them would be overbearing in real life but make for great TV viewing.  I debated over making Roseanne or Ida my number one choice, but when I remembered Marie Barone there was no hesitation.  Marie is the ultimate mother in all senses of the word.  She doesn’t just love her family—she smothers them in love.  She inserts herself into every aspects of their lives and voices her opinion on everything.  She does all of the above with a certain lack of self-awareness, so it becomes nearly impossible for her family to call her out on her actions.  After all, she’s doing it all in the name of love!  And despite their protestations, countless episodes proved that everyone in the Barone clan was ultimately jockeying for her approval.  She’s the unquestioned matriarch, the sun around which the family revolves and the reason why Everybody Loves Raymond was such a classic.

Episode to Watch: “Marie’s Vision”
When Marie gets glasses she starts to notice little things about her family—and they scramble to try and escape her criticisms.  

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, real and fictional!

THE CANISTER

Everybody Loves Raymond
Season 5 (2001)

Easter-themed episodes of sitcoms are a rare and beautiful thing. Who knows exactly why there is such a scarcity of Easter episodes?  Perhaps it’s because Easter is a relatively religious holiday and sitcoms generally avoid religion.  Maybe it’s just because the holiday falls rather late in a typical sitcom season, and shows tend to be wrapping up and can’t devote time to the holiday.  Maybe Easter just isn’t as popular as Christmas, Halloween and Thanksgiving (thought it ranks as my third favorite holiday).  Luckily Everybody Loves Raymond provided us with not only more than one Easter episode, but this truly amazing one.

I can almost smell the vinegar and hear those color tablets fizzing...

The plot is simple yet brilliant: on the day before Easter Debra insists that she returned a canister to Marie, even earning an apology from Marie after she accuses her of losing it.  Moments later Debra discovers that she had the canister all along, and in order to avoid years of Marie rubbing the mistake in their faces the family goes to great and hilarious lengths to prevent the truth from being discovered.  Despite their frantic efforts, on Easter Sunday the canister keeps showing up at the worst possible moments, leading to a last-minute rescue from an unlikely source.

The canister that wouldn't die

“The Canister” is a much beloved episode of the show and deservedly so; it’s one hilarious scene after another.  When the infamous canister comes clunking down the stairs after Ray and Debra thought they’d throw it away, their genuine terror is a sight to behold.  Other great moments include Ray smuggling the canister in to Marie’s house under a puffy jacket and Ray and Robert’s deliciously awkward, extremely long hug (an effort to conceal the canister clutched between them).  The ending of the episode is even surprisingly poignant.  It really is sheer sitcom perfection from start to finish, equal parts comedy, horror movie, caper, and slapstick—all that plus a holiday backdrop!  

Holidays are for hugging

Easter with the Barones reminds me a lot of my many family holidays, including the squabbling.  The opening scene shows Ray dying eggs (with newspaper spread over the kitchen table, naturally) and we also get all sorts of fun Easter shout-outs: chocolate eggs, ham, daffodils, Easter outfits and subtle decorations in the background.  At one point the camera focuses on Debra and I noticed Easter gel clings in the window behind her.  All hail the gentle yet knowing touch of the Everybody Loves Raymond set decorator!  Details like these make the show—and the holiday.

Subtle over the shoulder and to the right Easter decor alert!

Easter Quotient: As much as I adore this episode, it’s prevented from earning a 5 since the story doesn’t actually revolve around Easter—it just takes place on Easter.  Still there’s plenty of holiday trimmings so it rates a 4. 

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Mandatory Easter viewing, year after year!

DIAMONDS

Everybody Loves Raymond
Season 1 (1997)

A lot of sitcoms get goofier in their later seasons, but as this Season 1 episode of Everybody Loves Raymond demonstrates, this show didn’t hit its stride until it scaled back the goofy in favor of showing the humor of smaller, more realistic incidents.  “Diamonds” begins with Robert announcing his arrest of a family friend, from whom both Ray and patriarch Frank bought their spouses' wedding rings.  Robert reveals all of the fake jewelry they discovered, causing Ray to freak out and realize that the diamond in Debra’s engagement ring has always been glass (“Not glass—glassite” says Robert, one of the episode’s better lines). 

Ray’s attempts to steal the ring from Deborah so he can replace it with a real diamond for Valentine’s Day go predictably awry.  We get a long sequence of Ray trying to extract the ring from Debra’s finger while she sleeps. It goes on way too long and shows that Ray Romano’s strengths as a comedian do not lie in slapstick (I’m not really sure what his strengths are—looking exasperated?  Portraying sloth?).  Debra awakens to find him with a flashlight and some butter and they engage in some weird sex role play game (thankfully off camera). 

Awards for Cutest Couple, Best Wrapped Gifts & Most 90s Outfit (for Amy)

Ray eventually steals the ring while Debra’s in the shower, causing her to go on a frantic search on Valentine’s Day.  Meanwhile new couple Amy and Robert exchange presents.  Side Note: I never realized that the character of Amy, one of my favorites on the show and Robert’s eventual wife, dated all the way back to the first season.  She gives him a tie and he gives her an iguana (again with the goofy; things got better, trust me).  Ray arrives with flowers and the redone ring, only for Debra to reveal that years ago she substituted her grandmother’s $15,000 diamond for the fake one.

Roses induce semi-creepy smiles and tears

It’s a nice twist and Patricia Heaton (as Debra) plays her role with aplomb, going from teary to angry in a split second. The ending is rather weird: the couple’s daughter shows them a paper valentine a classmate made for her, with chewed gum stuck in the middle.  This somehow reminds them that love isn’t materialistic or something—I don’t really get it, especially since during the credits we see them digging in a dumpster looking for the discarded diamond, suggesting that at the end of the day $15,000 trumps construction paper sentiment.

Recurring Themes: Robert engages in a Perfect Gift Search, a trope so tropey that it's been carried over from the Christmas season!

Valentine’s Day Quotient: Thanks to the scenes of Valentine-making and gift exchanging, this earns a 3.

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Worth a watch if you have the time but there are better both Valentine’s Day and Everybody Loves Raymond episodes out there.

THE TOASTER

Everybody Loves Raymond
Season 3 (1998)

There are certain favorite holiday episodes that every year I am tempted to keep in reserve and watch closer to Christmas as a sort of reward.  I've learned from years previous, however, of the danger of the "best for last" method as sometimes December flies by and I haven't gotten to many of my favorites.  In keeping with this last night we watched Everybody Loves Raymond's "The Toaster," which ranks in my Top 100 Christmas Episodes of All Time list.  I've watched it countless times and it never grows old.

Awkward bro hug

In "The Toaster" Ray is obsessing over the gift he's selected for his friends and family, an engraved toaster bearing a holiday message and the family's names.  Ray, Debra and the kids spend Christmas with Debra's parents (which I believe is the only peek at their chic, art gallery-esque house that the series ever offered) and the gift goes over well.  Robert is equally pleased, leading to an awkwardly touching moment and hug between the two brothers.  But the elder Barones, Frank and Marie, have a total non-reaction.  By December 26th Ray can't stand their silence any longer and confronts them, only to learn that they exchanged the gift for a coffee maker without ever noticing the engraving. 

What ensues is one of the show's best scenes between a befuddled and increasingly maddened Ray and his equally befuddled parents, who don't understand his emotional reaction.  They try to convince him of the benefits of their new coffee maker while he tries, equally unsuccessfully, to show them why their brutally honest reactions to gifts are hurtful.  Every family has bad gift-givers but also at least one (or two) bad gift-receivers, who can't or won't mask their nonplussed reactions to unwanted presents.  Marie's irrationally disgusted response to the fruit-of-the-month club, a previous gift from Ray, is laugh out loud funny, as is her obtuse response of "we're the ones who have to get these presents."  

"And why are we lying today?"

Finally clueing in, Frank and Marie go back to Bloomingdales and attempt to retrieve the returned toaster.  They have a hilarious encounter with a sales associate (they forget to remove the coffee grounds from the coffee maker and wish the Jewish sales associate the blessings of "our Lord and saviour").  Things just go from bad to worse but the kerfluffle, ultimately involving a security guard and sneaking into the stock room, proves to Ray that they really do care.

Holy Crap!

As I wrote earlier, I just can't get enough of this episode, which, like so much of Raymond, hits very close to home.  The show would further mine the politics of gift-giving in later Christmas episodes but none so ably as "The Toaster."  The character of Ray, who I normally find annoying, comes across as rather sweet and sympathetic in this episode.  But the show-stealers (and aren't they always?) are Frank and Marie, first via their stubborn resistance to the gift and later their hapless efforts to make amends.  You get the sense that they never quite get it but go the distance anyway, and their interactions with both each other and the store staff can't be beat.  I also appreciate that a lot of this episode takes place on the day after Christmas, offering up a rare look at the aftermath of the holiday-- and anyone who's ever attempted to return something the day after Christmas knows these particular horrors all too well.

Christmas Quotient: 5

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Is there any doubt?  Own it along with the rest of the series and you won’t be disappointed.

THE BIRD

Everybody Loves Raymond
Season 8 (2003)

“The Bird” is my hands-down favorite of all the Everybody Loves Raymond Thanksgiving episode, no easy feat given the competition.  It ably demonstrates the show’s genius for taking a minor incident and blowing it up into a family-wide catastrophe, and it’s also pretty impressive that the show was still producing such high-quality episodes in its second-to-last season.  I’m a big fan of the McDougalls, the family-in-law that joined the show after Amy married Robert.  The soft-spoken, religious MacDougalls provide a brilliant contrast to the emotional, rough-around-the-edges Barones and this episode pits the two families together in a marvelous manner.

Shirtless and weirdly chest-hairless Ray Romano alert, if you're into that sort of thing.  

The Barones arrive to spend Thanksgiving with the MacDougalls, something none of them are all that happy about.  The men are dismayed to learn that the family doesn’t own a TV and Marie is miffed at being pushed out of the culinary spotlight.  Despite a rough start the two families are starting to bond (thanks to a shared love of naps) when a small bird smashes against the front door. Everyone is dismayed and Pat, the gentle MacDougall matriarch, cradles the bird and takes it into the kitchen.  Moments later it’s revealed that instead of nursing the injured bird she broke its neck.

The Barones are horrified and the MacDougalls baffled by their reaction.  Long-simmering antagonism between the two families erupts, and shortly thereafter the clueless kids force everyone into participating in a Thanksgiving play.  The Barones take the role of the Native Americans (Ray angrily rips off his shirt in order to claim the role of Squanto) and the MacDougalls play the pilgrims.  They then act out their hostilities via the play but the entrance of another bird ends the argument: Pat enters with the cooked turkey and everyone rushes to the table to feast together.

I'm Team Pilgrim on this one-- better headgear.

The episode rolls out like a delicious one-act play; the dialogue and characters are hilarious.  I grew up watching George Engels as Georgette on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and she is equally wonderful here in the role of Pat, a similarly tender-hearted character with flashes of someone feistier underneath.  The themes at work in this episode are entirely relatable, as who hasn’t struggled at some point to bond with someone else’s family?  Little things make for big differences, especially around the holidays.  As for everything beginning and ending with a dead bird, all I can say is well-played, nameless team of sitcom writers.

The Menu: Unidentified Appetizers, Turkey, Green Salad, Brussels Sprouts & Pie

Thanksgiving Quotient: 5

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Add it to your permanent collection!

TURKEY OR FISH?

Everybody Loves Raymond
Season 1 (1996)

Certain shows often have a specific holiday on lock.  Roseanne claimed Halloween and The Drew Carey Show dominated April Fool’s Day.  And while some purists (like my mom) may argue that The Bob Newhart Show owns Thanksgiving, really it’s Everybody Loves Raymond.  From this Season 1 episode onward, Everybody Loves Raymond brought us the best in Thanksgiving entertainment, a natural fit since the show regularly trafficked in small yet relatable family conflicts.  And what holiday brings out the familial conflict more than Thanksgiving?

In this episode Debra decides that for the first time she wants to host Thanksgiving dinner, meaning bumping mother-in-law Marie’s turn to host back a year.  True to character Marie is outraged and refuses to attend but then suddenly agrees.  Ray is suspicious of her motives, however, when she invites two eccentric relatives and Debra decides to make fish instead of the beloved turkey.  He’s convinced Marie is anticipating disaster (she later shows up with turkey in tow).

Have turkey, Will travel

Now alarmed, Debra goes a bit crazy in trying to pull together the perfect meal, leading to a kitchen meltdown.  This episode captures all too well the stress of entertaining.  Like Debra and my own mother before me, I love to entertain but am highly susceptible to stress-related freakouts.  And in real life boyfriend Nick definitely plays the Raymond role when it comes to party planning: helpful but a bit baffled by it all and definitely wary of emotional outbursts on my part.

Enterainin' ain't easy

After Ray accidentally puts the fish in the dishwasher and Frank chokes on it Debra concedes defeat, only for Marie to confess that Debra did indeed do a good job and should host Thanksgiving from now on—much to Ray’s dismay.   From the petty family interactions to the holiday stress to the ultimate feeling of togetherness, this episode nails it throughout.  The young daughter is even dressed as a yam for most of the episode.  It just doesn’t get more Thanksgivingy than this!

Enough for 11 adults and 3 kids?!

Side note: Both Nick and I had the same reaction when we saw the fish: no way was that going to feed all those people!  For shame, prop person who bought that fish.  And while I noticed that the red wine the adults are seen drinking with dinner looks awfully fruit punch-like, Nick pointed out that whether they went with the fish or the turkey either way they should be drinking white wine.  How gauche!

Recurring Themes: This episode centers around the classic Thanksgiving conflict of Who Hosts?  The Barones also receive two Last-Minutes Guests in the form of their great-uncle’s friends.

The Menu: Garnish plate (including radishes), Yams, Yellow Squash, Striped Bass, Turkey, Apple Brown Betty, & No Biscuits (since Ray got Baking Soda instead of Baking Powder)

Thanksgiving Quotient: We are starting the season off right with a solid 5!

See It, Skip It, Own It?

The whole series is worth owning for the Thanksgiving episodes alone, but watching this episode especially should be an annual tradition.