A PIECE OF CAKE

Golden Girls
Season 2 (1987)

Over the years Golden Girls had several anthology-style episodes, composed of several original, albeit short, segments held together by oh-so-subtle framing scenes (“That reminds me of the time…”). Anthology episodes aren’t usually my favorite, but then again some of the show’s best moments sprang from episodes of this type, as the birthday-themed “A Piece of Cake” proves.

We begin with the girls preparing a surprise birthday party for their friend Roberta.  Golden Girls was never that solid on continuity, so dear “Roberta” is never seen nor mentioned outside of this episode (she was condemned to the same limbo as Coco, the girls’ gay housekeeper seen only in the pilot).  Sophia realizes she forgot to bake the birthday cake, so as she bakes (and gets drunk on rum) the girls reminiscence about past birthdays.

The first segment is my favorite, as it involves Rose surprising Dorothy with a birthday celebration at Mr. Ha Ha’s Hot Dog Hacienda, a Chuckie Cheese-style kiddie restaurant.  Dorothy is not feeling the food (including something called a Cherry Burpee) or Mr. Ha Ha himself, an obnoxious clown.  Things go from bad to mortifying when she’s called up on stage with the other birthday kids and, as the oldest, is forced to lead the birthday parade.  My family and friends can tell you that I LOATHE being sung to at restaurants on my birthday (and for the record I am anti-picture taking in restaurants as well), so I can really relate to Dorothy in this scene, even more so than usual.

Argh!  And hello perfectly posed lady in the background!

There is also a weird moment when one of the kids, who kind of looks like a young ginger Ben Savage, has some dubbed dialogue.  And the dialogue is clearly being done by an adult woman trying to sound like a young boy.  It’s terrifyingly surreal.  You can also see "Bobby" clearly looking at and being directed by someone off-screen moments before he walks over to Dorothy with a piece of cake.  Shocking that Jeffrey Webber's career didn't take off after this episode and his only other screen credit as "Child" in something called "On Location: The Roseanne Barr Show" (thanks IMDB!).

The next segment is sad.  I mean, it’s bleak.  It’s a flashback to before Rose moved to Miami and gives us a rare glimpse at the oft-referenced St. Olaf. Her husband has recently died and so she has baked her own birthday cake, which she “surprises” herself with.  She then proceeds to talk to her husband’s ghost about how she’s moving because she can’t handle the memories of their old home.  The scene fades out on her cutting into her cake, by herself.  Alone.  A widow.  On her birthday.  Like I said, bleak.

Make the sadness stop...

The other two segments are a flashback to Sophia’s 50th birthday in New York and a surprise party the girls threw for Blanche.  The Sophia-Dorothy flashback scenes were never particular favorites of mine, though I bet Estelle Getty welcomed the chance to show people how much younger she was in real life, sans wig and old lady glasses.  The Blanche scene is more fun, for Rose invites all of the men from Blanche’s little black book to the party.  Back to the present and the girls make their way to the living room—only to turn around and surprise Blanche.  Turns out the birthday party is for her, one week early.  An all-male conga line appears from the lanai and everyone goes dancing into the sunset.

What’s not to love here?  Golden Girls is just sheer perfection.  Even when it's not that great it's still amazing, and when it's amazing it's AMAZING.  In an early scene in this episode Dorothy pops a balloon animal named Scotty that Rose makes.  In an episode of Maude that I recently watched, Maude (also played by Bea Arthur) pops a balloon being held by Vivian (played by Rue McClanahan).  I really hope on Bea Arthur’s resume, under “Special Skills” it listed “Disdainful Balloon Popping.”  Nobody does it better than Bea!

Dorothy goes in for the kill

Birthday Quotient: 5

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Do I really need to say it?  Own it.