DARK KNIGHT COURT

The Simpsons

Season 24 (2013)

I’ve written before about the scarcity of Easter-themed TV episodes, but luckily The Simpsons has been around for so long that the show has gifted us with not just one Easter episode, but multiple ones (okay, well, at least two that I’m aware of).  Up until now I’d never seen “Dark Knight Court,” for as a Simpsons purist I stick to the first 11 seasons or so.  I was pleasantly surprised by the first five minutes, and then the rest of the (Easter-less) episode was a reminder of why the show has mostly lost its charms.

But let’s start with the good stuff!  We get a nice burst of not only Easter but St. Patrick’s Day right off the bat, as we zoom into the sky during the familiar opening credits and the Easter Bunny and a Leprechaun suddenly appear, battling it out and then exploding in a burst of Easter eggs and shamrocks.  Presumably this is because the episode aired during a year when Easter fell in March, which is a terrible, horrible, no good thing.  I resent March Easters on so many levels.  For one, if Easter comes in March we’re left with an almost holiday-less April (save for April Fool’s Day), thereby rendering the entire month of April useless and boring.  Also, as someone with a late March birthday, I’ve had to endure a couple birthday-Easter combos and I am not a fan.  Every holiday and birthday should gets it due!  Easter I love you (my third favorite holiday!) but stick to April where you belong.  End of rant.

Anyhoo, after the leprechaun and bunny battle there’s a Jesus-related chalkboard gag AND an Easter egg couch gag in the opening credits.  This is full-tilt holiday theming and I was loving it!  After the credits we open on the Springfield town square in the throes of an Easter celebration. The women are strolling around in their lavish Easter bonnets (Marge’s hat features framed photos of the Simpson kids).  There’s a giant, melting chocolate bunny.  There’s even a lovely rendition of the song “Easter Parade” playing, and later an instrumental version of “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” courtesy of the Springfield Elementary band.  One of the best gags involves Moe slinking into a coin-operated booth for a “Peep Show” only to discover it’s just a bunch of candy Peeps lined up for display.

It’s the kind of holiday episode I live for, only everything sadly comes to a crashing halt after the band blows eggs out of their instruments, pelting the crowd and bringing the festivities to an end.  With that, the Easter theme disappears and the episode quickly goes off the rails.  The two storylines involve Lisa defending Bart, the accused prankster, and Mr. Burns being a superhero named Fruit Bat Man. Sigh. 

And because this is a late-in-life Simpsons episode, of course there must be a celebrity guest star.  In this case it’s a surprisingly classy one: Janet Reno, who presides as judge of the kid courtroom.  I really like Janet Reno but she can’t save this episode from suffocating under its own goofy premise.  It’s shame because the opening Easter scene was really charming, but it feels tacked on to an otherwise hodgepodge of an episode.  Plus, what law says we must always have both an A and a B story?!  I could have so done without the whole Mr. Burns-as-superhero silliness.

Easter Quotient: A 5 for the first 5 minutes; 1 thereafter

Own It, See It, Skip It?: Definitely watch the opening five minutes for a dose of Easter fun, then quickly shut off your TV.

WALT DISNEY PRESENTS: I CAPTURED THE KING OF THE LEPRECHAUNS

Walt Disney’s Darby O’Gill and the Little People is must-see St. Patrick’s Day fare for a lot of folks.  Disney fanatic I may be, but Darby has never a particular favorite of mine (I’m more of a Gnome Mobile person, if given a choice between little people-themed live action 60s Disney movies).  So rather than write about Darby itself, I instead elected to watch and review this episode of Walt Disney Presents (a show also known over its long run as Disneyland, Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color, The Wonderful World of Disney and so on and so on).  Turner Classic Movies recently re-aired this special about the making of the Darby film as part of their “Treasures From the Disney Vault” series.  It stars Walt Disney himself and is essentially an hour-long commercial for the Darby film framed as Walt’s trip to Ireland in search of leprechauns for his movie because he’s told “only a leprechaun can play a leprechaun.”

Let's head back to 1959, when this special aired, a time when people still threw around the word "midgets" and smoked a lot onscreen. The episode begins with Walt getting a pep talk from Irish-American actor Pat O’Brien.  Pat struts around a very late 50s-looking living room, smoking a pipe and extolling the virtues of Irish men (“and a few women, too” he says rather begrudgingly).  It’s Pat that urges Walt to fly to Ireland in search of real leprechauns.  Once in Ireland (he arrives via stock footage of an airplane), Walt consults with an Irish librarian who shows him a suit of miniature clothes and gives him a dose of Irish mythology.  Then Walt is off to a local village, where he next teams up with actor Albert Sharpe, in character as Darby O’Gill himself.  

Walt and Darby hang out in some fog-shrouded ruins where they eventually encounter some leprechauns and demand to meet the leprechaun king.  They hang out in the king’s throne room, do some fiddling, and King Brian agrees to lend Walt all the leprechauns he needs for his movie.  Walt then heads back to the states for another confab with Pat O’Brien, who this time smokes a giant cigar instead of a pipe (I can only assume Pat O’Brien died of lung cancer).  We’re then treated to a series of clips and scenes introducing the characters from Darby O’Gill, including a neat sequence with a ghostly banshee and a spectral horse and carriage.

I have to admit all of the above was a bit less than compelling.  It was neat to see Walt Disney playing a version of himself. As Leonard Maltin said in his introduction, it’s interesting to see a living, breathing Walt here who’s not just a brand, which is more the version I grew up with.  Certainly this was chockfull of vintage 60s goodness (the living room décor was especially delightful).  But since everything revolves around Darby, which again is not a particular favorite of mine, I wasn’t exactly enthralled by the proceedings.  Add in Pat O’Brien’s long stretches of pontificating and smoking and the fact that this hour-long special is almost as long as the movie Darby O’Gill and the Little People itself, and you’ve got a curious relic of TV days gone by.  

This special may have been a bit of a snoozer (and, since it was in black and white, lacking the vibrant green hues one hopes for in a St. Patrick’s Day special), but it’s a fitting tribute to Walt Disney’s seemingly boundless imagination as well as his incredible marketing savvy—only Uncle Walt could so cleverly disguise a commercial for family entertainment as family entertainment, and manage to promote so many things at once: his movies, Disneyland, and even himself.

FILM FOCUS: VALENTINE

I am (somewhat covertly) a big horror movie fan, though my weak constitution places limits on how and which horror movies I watch.  Rather than see a scary movie in the theater, I much prefer to watch them the way I did growing up, as reruns on cable with the goriest parts edited out by some kindly network censor.  Watching scary movies on TV also gives you the handy option of quickly changing the channel right before something gruesome happens, and then switching back when you think it’s safe (often only to catch the tail end of the gruesome bit--it takes practice).  I don’t go for gore or “torture porn” but I love me a good  ole fashioned chase sequence and a hapless group of sexy teenagers getting bumped off one by one.  As Nick said the other night, he knows that if I like a certain horror movie it must mean that it’s not actually scary. 

Since the 1970s success of Halloween and Black Christmas, moviemakers have long mined the 'holiday + psychopathic killer = box office gold' formula.  When thinking of a Valentine’s Day slasher film the obvious choice may be My Bloody Valentine (both the original and the more recent 3D remake).  But again, I tend to opt for not-very-scary slashers, so for me the cupid-killer movie that holds my heart is 2001’s box office embarrassment, Valentine.

Valentine is one of those movies with a cast of somewhat recognizable faces, mostly culled from TV shows.  David Boreanz is the biggest name, probably followed by Katherine Heigl, who is only in one scene  because **spoiler** she dies (this is not a spoiler because basically everyone dies).  Heigl later publically regretted her involvement in this movie, claiming she hadn’t read the entire script before signing on.  Knowing how apparently unashamed she is of her many other shitty movies, that really speaks to the quality of Valentine.  Even the movie’s director (who also directed Urban Legends, another fun, not terribly frightening slasher flick I enjoy) has publically apologized for Valentine’s shortcomings.  They can all say what they will, but I still get a kick out of the proceedings.

There really isn’t a plot so much as a series of deaths connected by a Valentine’s Day theme.  The movie begins with a flashback, in which a group of middle school girls help humiliate a dorky boy at a Valentine’s Day dance.  Years later the girls are all blond (except for one, Denise Richards) and sexy and living in San Francisco (which looks more like L.A. by way of Toronto).  One by one the girls receive threatening valentines signed by “JM,” the initials of the geeky boy from their past.  And then one by one they get killed off, along with a lot of other secondary characters who solely hang around to provide a bigger body count (seriously, was it really necessary to kill the maid?!). 

The women fall into the usual horror movie clichés: smart one, fun one, good girl and the slutty girl, the latter played with some spark by Denise Richards.  They are less notable for their characterizations than they are for the methods of their deaths—one is literally shot with arrows by the cupid-masked killer.  The movie’s most memorable death again belongs to Denise Richards.  It involves a sealed Jacuzzi and a power drill, and I'll leave it at that.   There is also the single worst fake severed head you will ever see in a movie.  Not only does it not in the least resemble the doomed detective it’s meant to represent, it’s clearly a mask someone bought at a Spirit Halloween close-out sale.

It all may sound pretty bloody but the gore is surprisingly minimal.  I won’t spoil the ending but basically there are two candidates for who the killer may be, and ultimately neither really makes sense (I even watched the closing scene with the director’s commentary this year and it still didn’t fully clear it up for me).  Amidst all the death is a lot of talk of dating and romance and some odd sexual moments (but no real nudity).  Example: a creepy dude is caught trying on his neighbor’s pantyhose before being bludgeoned to death with an iron.

In terms of its holiday theming, however, Valentine nails it.  There are the aforementioned creepy death threat valentines.  There is maggot-filled candy in a heart-shaped box, red roses, and a heart-shaped sucker.  The final third takes place at the world’s most lavish Valentine’s Day party, with tons of decorations that suggests a passion for the holiday that nobody seems to have in real life.  The killer is also on-theme, wearing a porcelain cupid’s mask.  If you’re one of the many anti-Valentine’s Day people out there, watching a bunch of aspiring early 2000 starlets get murdered by a killer cupid ain’t a bad way to pass the evening.  Or, if you’re like me, and like your horror fairly tame and intestine-free and can appreciate a good-bad movie for what it’s worth, check out the movie or at least the trailer below.

I do still feel bad that the maid had to die though. 

SPECIAL SPOTLIGHT: A MUPPET FAMILY CHRISTMAS

As a kid, one of my favorite things about the days of school vacation leading up to Christmas was watching cartoons and sitcom reruns on weekday mornings.  The majority of them were Christmas-themed episodes, and not only was it a delicious privilege to watch these normally unavailable shows, reserved only for the occasional sick day or summer vacation, seeing that the TV programmers has specially selected to air Christmas episodes always gave me the feeling that the holiday was truly everywhere; pervasive in the best sense of the word.

This is how I first saw A Muppet Family Christmas, being rerun on some random channel one Christmas Eve morning.  I stumbled upon it while channel surfing and was amazed that up until then I’d never seen this special. My sister and I loved the Muppets growing up: we religiously watched Muppet Babies on Saturday morning and rented The Muppets Take Manhattan on a steady rotation.  And yet somehow this greatest of Muppets specials was never a part of our holiday traditions. It may be due to the general scarcity of the special, which remained difficult to find for years and even now only exists in an edited form (scenes were removed after the original broadcast due to song rights issues). 

Falling in love with the special after that first viewing, I eventually tracked down a used VHS copy, which is the same way I still watch it every Christmas Eve morning (it's now available on DVD, but as long as the VHS still works I figure why fix what ain’t broke?  Besides, VHS cassettes have a big nostalgia factor for me).

Any Muppets fan or child of the 80s should adore A Muppet Family Christmas because it brings together the Muppets, Fraggle Rock and Sesame Street. It even features a brief cameo by Jim Henson himself, not long before he passed away.  Not only is it dripping in Christmas spirit, it’s the ultimate tribute to Henson and his beloved characters.  There’s such a thrill in watching the Swedish Chef plot to cook Big Bird, or Kermit travelling to Fraggle Rock (via an entrance in the farmhouse basement).  The Muppet Babies even make a very brief appearance on a projector screen (their scene/musical number is one of the ones that was sadly cut).  This TV special is truly special, not just because of the Christmas theme but also the sense of worlds (in the form of separate TV shows) overlapping.  Not since the Jetsons met the Flinstones have I gotten such a thrill from seeing different characters interact.

The storyline is incredibly simple: all of the aforementioned Muppet characters gather together on Christmas Eve at Fozzie Bear’s mother’s farmhouse.  A blizzard hits, causing Miss Piggy's arrival to be delayed and Kermit to worry.

There are several running jokes and plotlines that have become Christmas lore for me and an entire generation.  There’s an icy patch at the front door that, despite the constant warnings, everyone slips on.  Fozzie’s mother is forced to think of increasingly creative places for her endless flow of guests to sleep (including the bathtub and eventually hanging on hooks on the wall—much to Gonzo’s delight).  There are musical numbers throughout, and the special ends with an amazing Christmas carol medley, composed of just about every Christmas song you can imagine and sung by the assembled cast, a huge crowd of childhood favorites all crammed into one room.  It really feels like a captured moment in time, like someone’s home movie, and even though I watch it year after year, it’s like a special, one-time event each time.

Sadly this year we lost actor Gerard Parkes, who played Doc in Fraggle Rock and, other than Henson’s cameo, is the sole human in the special.  He starts out as the curmudgeon who has rented the farmhouse for some peace and quiet, only to see it invaded by a steady stream of weirdos.  But of course he comes around, won over by the Muppets’ charm, and ends up first dressed first as a footman accompanying Miss Piggy’s sleigh during her dramatic entrance and then as Santa Claus himself.  Parkes’ death will make this year’s viewing rather bittersweet.

If I could chose one TV world to spend Christmas in, it would have to be that snow-bound farmhouse.  Sure, it’s crowded and a bit chaotic, but also incredibly cozy and the love and sense of surrogate family feels so genuine and powerful.  Plus, those Muppets really know how to carol!

Merry Christmas to All—and watch out for that icy patch!

CLOSE-UP ON CHRISTMAS DECOR: THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW EDITION

One of my favorite things about holiday episodes is the decorations—I just love seeing how set designers deck the halls of our favorite sitcom characters.  I love it when the decorations are unrealistically lavish, and I also love it when the décor is more recognizable and grounded in reality.  This is the first in a new series of detailed posts closely examining the holiday decorations found in some classic TV sitcoms.  And when I say detailed, I mean detailed—settle down for a long post!

Of course I have to start with Mary Richards’ apartment on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  Sitcoms like I Love Lucy and The Mary Tyler Moore Show glamorized apartment living for me as a child, so they can be blamed for the fact that I now shell out a ridiculous amount of monthly rent for a tiny NYC apartment (the square footage of New York City apartments is the TV sitcom’s most lasting and egregious falsehood). 

If I had to choose just one TV apartment to inhabit, it would Mary Richards’ Minneapolis abode (I’m talking about her original studio apartment from the first few seasons, and not the larger, more modern one she moved into later).  From my “child of the 80s” perspective the 1970s was not a great decade in terms of aesthetics, especially for fashion and interior design.  But Mary’s apartment has a timeless quality (with a few notable exceptions, such as the swath of shag carpeting).  There are so many charming architectural and design elements: the sunken living room, the potbelly stove, the balcony and, most famously, the gold letter “M” on the wall.  Of course for my first apartment I got my own gold letter “M” and have had one in every subsequent apartment, a talisman that adds just a bit of sitcom to my life.

Mary’s apartment is enviable in any given episode, but in the Season1 Christmas episode, “Christmas and the Hard-Luck Kid II,” it really shines.  The character of Mary Richards loves Christmas and this is evident in her decorating of not only her apartment but her office as well.  So after this rather long preamble, let’s delve in and take a close look at Mary’s Christmas decorations!  Click the pics to see larger versions, so you can take in all of the glorious details.

In the above picture we see Mary finishing up her (perfectly triangular!) tree.  Rhoda sits nearby, refusing to help, as she just got done decorating an entire department store, via her job as a window dresser.  Mary’s tree is the centerpiece of the apartment, perfectly positioned in the middle her of balcony windows.  It’s got the retro large-size lights rarely seen today, and Mary opts for a faux-snow white tree skirt.  Her gifts are wrapped in bright jewel tones—and in this shot, underneath the tree, we see Rhoda’s gift that she unwraps later in the episode.

In this shot we also see garlands and Christmas lights, very perfectly and evenly spaced (which suits Mary’s perfectionist persona).  How one chooses to display their Christmas cards is also very telling, and here we see Mary has opted to attach her many cards to long stretches of vertical ribbon placed on the wall.  My favorite element of all is the Santa head attached to the coat rack by the front door—such a cute touch!

In this next shot (above) we see the most famous decorative element (famous in my mind, after so many repeat viewings of this episode): the front door wrapped like a Christmas present!  This is such a clever way to decorate one’s apartment and one year my sister tried to replicate this look on her own bedroom door, with mixed results.  Mary opts to put the bow of the “present” on the inside door and a wreath on the outside. By the way that’s Phyllis, blocked by Christmas presents, entering the apartment in this scene.

Here we see Rhoda and the wrapped door up close and can admire the geometric Christmas tree pattern of the paper.  Also we see a few of Mary’s aforementioned Christmas cards close-up.  It makes sense that popular, perky Mary would send and receive a lot of Christmas cards (cards from her ex-boyfriends alone could fill the apartment).

This shot shows Mary’s stocking, hung by the fire (or in her case, near her potbelly stove-fireplace).  I’m a bit surprised that Mary opted for a plain, ordinary stock as opposed to a decorative Christmas stocking.  Rhoda is also critical of Mary’s stocking choice—she suggests pantyhose, as they hold more.

I just love how in this shot you can see the reflected Christmas tree and ornaments in the round mirror behind Mary.  I always coveted that tall dresser with the mirror on top—though I’ll take a pass on that ugly, 1970s-style sunflower mug.

In this shot we get a glimpse of a rarely-seen wall in Mary’s apartment (behind her pullout couch).  It gives the sense that Mary decorates all areas of her apartment, as evidenced by the beautiful poinsettia plant and retro Santa Claus figurine behind her.  That same Santa will pop in a couple other places—clearly Mary is a fan.  This shot also gives us a close-up view of that little lion picture on an easel that was always seen in the apartment.  I always imagined it was some sort of representation of “The Lion and the Mouse” Aesop fable (I think that’s a mouse by the lion), but who knows?  It’s a nice little tchotchke, regardless. 

Now we get a look at Mary’s kitchen, as she sadly eats her peanut butter and jelly sandwich on Christmas Eve (she has to work and has no time for a real dinner).  Once again there are nicely draped garlands and a version of that same Santa seen behind the couch.  There’s also a very retro elf in a sleigh—Mary was decades ahead of that whole Elf on the Shelf trend.

That wraps up the Christmas decorations in Mary’s apartment, so now let's take a quick look at her office.  Mary's love of Christmas decor carries over to her desk and a few spots in the WJM news office.

The episode starts with this look at Mary's lavishly decorated desk-- a lack of cubicle or office does not dissuade Mary from decorating.  That's the sort of Christmas spirit I admire!  Mary's desk decor is very retro, from those red felt reindeer, paper bells and snow blanket.  And everybody's favorite Santa figurine makes his third appearance, perched on the edge of Mary's desk.  In the episode's most hilarious moment, Mary wields that same Santa as a would-be weapon against intruders (intruders that turn out to be her co-workers surprising her).  There's also a fun, retro "Merry Christmas" sign on the wall behind Mary.

In those shot we get a close-up view of the little tree on Mary's desk.  I always thought it was very clever to use a gift-wrap bow as the tree-topper, and that it's pink, a non-traditional Christmas color.  Mary is upset in this shot because she's being guilted into working on Christmas Eve by her co-worker-- don't worry, the episode of course has a happy ending!

Finally, as Mary rushes out the office door, we get a glimpse of a chalkboard adorned with cards and the message "Merry Christmas Gang."  You just know Mary wrote that message and put up those cards in her ongoing efforts to spread Christmas cheer.  Over the years I've gleaned a lot of Christmas decorating tips from this episode, from the gift-wrapped door to the bow-topped tree.  We should all be so lucky to have a friend and co-worker as filled with the Christmas spirit as Mary Richards, so in her words: Merry Christmas, Gang!

FILM FOCUS: MERRY IN-LAWS

 

I don’t know how or why 2014 became the Year of Watching Shelley Long Movies—but it did. Troop Beverly Hills, which stars the Divine Ms. L, is one of the cornerstones of my childhood, but beyond that I could never properly call myself a Shelley Long fan. It was only after Cheers was added to Netflix that I started to fall in love, first with the character of Diane Chambers and then with Ms. Long herself.  So this past year I’ve been seeking out her films, both from the height of her popularity in the late 80s/early 90s and her more recent TV movies (how the mighty have fallen, I know). In 2014 I watched Outrageous Fortune, Strawberry Summer, and A Holiday Engagement. 

While making a list of Ms. Long’s films (do I even need to say at this stage of the game that a list was involved?!) I was pleasantly surprised to see several Christmas movies.  Someday I’ll get to writing about the aforementioned hybrid Thanksgiving-Christmas movie A Holiday Engagement, which Nick and I both liked so much that we went out and bought it after viewing.  But I was most excited to see Merry In-Laws, which thanks to the wonders of TIVO I was able to watch for the first time this year.

Prior to watching, I knew nothing about Merry In-Laws save the title and the fact that Shelley Long was in it.  But I correctly guessed that it was about a woman who ends up engaged to the son of Santa, and that Mrs. Claus (one half of the titular merry in-laws) would be played by Shelley Long.  Made-for-TV movies just love the idea of Santa offspring—everyone from Jenny McCarthy to Kelsey Grammer have played Santa’s spawn over the years.  In Merry In-Laws, Santa’s son is a kindly schoolteacher who proposes to a pretty astronomer.  Because: science = skepticism!  The stage is now set for a showdown between the true believer Klaus Clan and Lady Astronomer’s uptight family.

The plot is really secondary to several other important factors, including the amount of Christmas decorations that appear.  Things start out rather lackluster but once Mr. and Mrs. Claus show up, they deck the halls real good.   Santa is played by George Wendt (who I saw also in the role of Santa in the Broadway musical version of Elf).  And of course Mrs. Claus is played with bubbly enthusiasm by Shelley Long.  Wendt and Long both starred on Cheers back in the day, and I couldn’t help but think of this as some weird alternate universe where Diane ran off with Norm and they gained magical Christmas powers.  This version of Santa and Mrs. Claus are rather affectionate—if not downright randy, and there are several scenes of them pawing at each other and giggling suggestively.  Yeah.  I know.

The movie’s best scene, however, is when Mrs. Claus and her future daughter-in-law bake cookies together.  Lady Astronomer is a terrible cook (we know this because she burns a couple meals prior to this scene), so she is reluctant to bake.   However Mrs. Claus insists that all she needs to make a successful batch of cookies is a little song and dance.  They then proceed to adorably prance around TO THE GREATEST SONG EVER.

Seriously, I have found my anthem for life.  Once the offbeat (yet Christmassy!) tune began to play I was instantly hooked, though doubtful it was a real song and not some random tune made up for the movie.  “Let Siri identify it,” insisted Nick (who worships a god named iPhone) and much to my amazement, Siri proclaimed that the song in question is “Can’t Stop Thinking About Christmas” by Electric Honey.  I can’t stop listening to this song—I love slightly off-kilter Christmas music and this fits the bill.  Plus the lyrics basically spell out my blessing and curse: an obsession with Christmas.

As you can imagine, by the end of the movie the skeptical science family is eventually won over by the merry in-laws, but only after Lady Astronomer thinks her fiancé is cheating on her with an Asian elf.  Merry In-Laws isn’t the greatest made-for-TV movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s certainly a fun way to help pass the time while you wrap presents or work on your cards (you are mailing out cards this year, right? I haven't received mine yet.  Seriously, the clock is ticking).  It’s worth it for the kitchen dancing scene along, and Shelley Long is really charming in her role of horny Mrs. Claus.  Luckily for you, it’s available for cheap on DVD and I’m sure will be running on TV at least once more this holiday season, so keep an eye out!

COMMERCIAL BREAK: CHRISTMAS 2014

Christmas is the one time of year that I actually love watching commercials.  I almost begrudge our TIVO, which the other 11 months of the year saves us from a boring litany of car advertisements, but in December potentially blocks all of the delightful holiday ads that I so enjoy.

Rest assured, I’ve managed to absorb many a Christmas commercial this holiday season (via YouTube, the TVs at our gym, and a live viewing of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade).  Here’s a roundup of some new and old favorites.

It seems that British department store John Lewis is determined to make everyone sob around Christmas.  Last year I was obsessed with their “The Bear & the Hare” animated sobfest.  Though I'm not as crazy about the song choice, this year they once again bring out the big guns of cutsey animals, sentimentality and pop music.  This ad just kills me—KILLS me—in all the right ways.  Especially that twist ending.

This season I've always really enjoyed Target's latest holiday offering, set to the delightful song "It's A Marshmallow World."  I'm a sucker for anything even remotely Alice in Wonderland-related, and this is a delightful mashup of Alice, Christmas, and some childhood icons in the form of Barbie and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

Speaking of childhood icons, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this Honda ad over the aforementioned Thanksgiving break.  It's a clever preying-upon of 80s nostalgia-- and a somewhat depressing revelation that my age bracket is now Honda's chief demographic.  I would have preferred She-Ra or even Mumm-Ra from Thundercats, but this ad makes great  use of Skeletor's signature screech.

Finally, let's watch a couple of "retro" Christmas commercials from that magical period of time known as the 1990s.  I became very interested in actress-singer Lena Horne this past year after watching a rerun of A Different World in which she guest starred.  Some googling led me to this Gap Christmas commercial that Ms. Horne did back in ye olde 1997.  I appreciate the stripped-down aesthetic, neutral color tone and jazzy beat that nevertheless still conveys the holiday spirit:

Finally, another favorite of mine has always been this Campbell's soup ad, which must be popular because it ran during December for years.  It's cutesy-cozy in the best way, and despite the slightly creepy look the kid gives at the end, if you're not craving chicken noodle soup by the end of it I question your humanity (or at least your appetite):

We've really covered the Christmas commercial bases here, from lovesick penguins to emaciated evil warlords, so I think it's time now to return to our regularly scheduled programming.  But before you reach for your DVR remote to zip past the commercials this December, maybe take a moment and actually watch a few.  You may be pleasantly surprised!