HEY, BABY, WHAT'S WRONG?

30 Rock

Season 6 (2012)

I've never before been so committed to watching Valentine's Day episodes, so it's been fun tracking a whole new set of TV tropes that come with the holiday.  I've discovered that pretty much every Valentine's Day-themed episode, whether it be sitcom, drama or reality show, will feature at least one character who hates the holiday and decries it as a made-up "Hallmark holiday."  Indeed, judging by TV standards alone, Valentine's Day must easily be the most hated holiday of them all.  30 Rock not only brought us numerous Valentine's Day episodes over the course of its seven seasons, but it also crowned Liz Lemon the Queen of Hating Valentine's Day (a crown I would like to see-- I'm picturing iron spikes piercing paper hearts).

30 Rock made Valentine's Day episodes a tradition so there are a wealth to choose from.  The best and wackiest (which is saying something) is probably the hour-long "Hey, Baby, What's Wrong?" AKA The Ikea Episode.  We begin with Liz Lemon being awakened by her boyfriend Criss, who serenades her with a half-written love song.  Liz tells him that she plans on ignoring the holiday, based on her history of disastrous February 14ths (which we are shown a quick montage of, flashing back to some of the earlier episodes).  Criss convinces Liz that now that they are together they can turn the holiday around, promising to make her a romantic dinner, complete with "mashed potatoes served in martini glasses."  Yum!  When they realize that they don't even have a dining room table, however, a horrified Liz states that they'll have to go Ikea.

The rest of the episode unfolds as Criss and Liz attempt to navigate the store without arguing, as Ikea tends to destroy relationships.  This makes total sense to me, as Target tends to be kryptonite for Nick and I; rarely can we make a Target trip without some sort of argument ensuing.  Blame the stress, blame the crowds, blame the rage-inducing red shopping carts.  In this episode Ikea plays a similar role, challenging Liz and Criss' happiness at every turn.  There's even a stalkerish employee who follows their increasing tension with creepy glee, feeding off of their misery.  

You've just gotta love those blue giant-sized Ikea bags!

Despite Criss' efforts to buy heart-shaped salt and pepper shakers, Liz eventually blows her top when he can't decide on a table.  They end up arguing and she stalks off, convinced their relationship is over and that Ikea has won.  However once she returns home she finds a totally calm Criss, who has assembled a table out of tree limbs and an old Herman Cain campaign poster and cooked the romantic dinner after all.  He shows Liz that one Ikea fight does not a relationship end and they settle down to dinner-- only for the makeshift table to collapse and Liz to utter the best and final line of the episode: "This gets me out of sex!"

Conservatives in love. It involves a lot of navy and gray.

Since this is an hour-long episode there are a ton of other storylines.  One involves Jack fighting his attraction to his mother-in-law (guest star Mary Steenbergen) as they visit the U.N.  Concurrently producer Pete attempts to coach Jenna for her live singing event, eventually figuring out that pain is her best motivation.  Finally, yet another plot follows loser Lutz as he's coached by his co-workers on how to pick up insecure women (hence the episode's title).  Jack's scenes at the U.N. are a lot of fun (they involve a totally-not-a-vampire Transylvanian delegate) but even better is a scene in which a desperate restauranteur tries to lure Jack and his mother-in-law in for a romantic Valentine's Day dinner.  Seriously, is there anything more terrible than those guys who stand outside restaurants and  aggressively try to get you inside?  This is why I hate you, Little Italy.

Though it's a bit overflowing, even given the extra half-hour, this is a standout episode of the show as well as terrific Valentine's Day viewing.  I was never a big fan of the Criss character, perhaps due to the casting of so-so actor James Marsden.  Plus it just seemed that a smart character like Liz would never sell out for a dumb (albeit loving) pretty boy.  But the real draw here, as always, is Tina Fey's portrayal of Liz Lemon, in all her self-deprecating glory.  The jokes come so fast you'll need repeat viewings to catch them all, and it doesn't get more Valentinish than someone getting shot with an arrow, as Jenna is during her moment in the spotlight.

Recurring Themes: Liz represents the Everybody Hates Valentine's Day masses.  And while they aren't technically shopping for gifts, Liz and Criss' trip to Ikea counts as Last Minute Shopping.

Valentine's Day Quotient: 3

See It, Skip It, Own It?

All of 30 Rock is worth owning, for the Valentine's Day episodes alone.