TV'S GREATEST QUEER-THEMED EPISODES (1970s-2000)

It’s been a historic and particularly celebratory Gay Pride Month this year, given the recent historic Supreme Court ruling. Last year, in honor of Gay Pride Month, I made a list of the Greatest Queer TV Characters of All Time.  This year I decided to compile a list of the greatest queer-themed TV episodes.  Rather than rank them I’m going in chronological order to better show the evolution of queer representation on TV.  This list covers the 1970s through the year 2000, and one of these days I'll write Part 2, which will encompass the modern era. 

Please note that this list is NOT comprehensive—a lot of great queer characters, stories, and shows are not represented here.  These are just my personal favorites, and all are well-worth watching.

“My Brother’s Keeper”

The Mary Tyler Moore Show (Season 3, 1973)

Amazingly progressive for it’s time (and even by today’s standards), this episode of my beloved Mary Tyler Moore Show keeps its big gay twist for the very end.  Throughout the episode Phyllis is increasingly upset over the closeness of her visiting brother Ben and her archenemy Rhoda.  But just as Phyllis’ histrionics reach their peak (at one of Mary’s infamously disastrous parties, naturally), Rhoda reveals that Ben is gay and therefore they are simply good friends.  It’s the refreshingly casual way Rhoda reveals the info and Phyllis’ relieved reaction that make this episode a standout.  If only Ben hadn’t been limited to just a one-episode guest spot… Rhoda and Ben could have become the Jack and Karen of the 1970s!

“The Gay Bar”

Maude (Season 6, 1977)

I finally watched Maude from start to finish for the first time last year and I reveled in the show’s many progressive topics, but most of all Bea Arthur’s flawless, complicated portrayal of Maude herself.  True, this gay-themed episode is heavy-handed (as many of the show’s topical episodes were), but it’s also earnest in its intentions.  And Bea Arthur brings the funny, as always.  This episode concerns Maude’s efforts to combat homophobic neighbor Arthur’s campaign to close down a new gay bar in Tuckahoe.  Both Arthur and Maude end up at the bar, where, overzealous as always, Maude goes out of her way to bond with the gay patrons.

“Isn’t It Romantic?”

Golden Girls (Season 2, 1986)

Golden Girls is one of the most iconic gay shows of all time for many, many reasons (the women are all basically drag queens, for starters).  But aside from its camp sensibility the show tackled gay issues head-on multiple times (there was even a gay housekeeper named CoCo in the pilot episode, but he was—perhaps thankfully—dropped).  Aside from the episodes dealing with Blanche’s gay brother (who eventually got married on the show), we have this Season 2 episode dealing with Dorothy’s friend Jean.  On the heels of a breakup, Jean stays with the girls for a bit and finds herself falling in love with Rose—who is utterly clueless about Jean’s affections.  The scene in which Dorothy and Sophia explain that Jean is a lesbian to both Rose and Blanche is a highpoint:

But it’s the sweet acceptance and understanding that Rose ultimately displays that makes this episode something special.

“Killing All the Right People”

Designing Women (Season 2, 1987)

Oh boy, this episode deals with some heavy stuff and it does not have a typically happy sitcom ending.  But it does mark an extremely important moment in TV history, as the women of Sugarbakers Design Firm deal with the AIDS crisis.  Kendall, a friend and fellow decorator, comes to Sugarbakers’ and asks them to plan his funeral, as he is dying of AIDS.  Julia’s subsequent epic takedown of a homophobic client is the stuff of legend:

You’ll be sobbing by the end, though, as the last scene depicts Kendall’s funeral, a grimly realistic ending during the height of the AIDS crisis.  The episode is made all the more poignant with the knowledge that creator-writer Linda Bloodworth-Thomason’s own mother died of AIDS after being infected via a blood transfusion.

“Ladies’ Choice”

Roseanne (Season 5, 1992)

Roseanne Barr deserves a lot of credit for dragging gay rights issues out of the closet and on to our TV screens in the early 90s.  The fact that she has two gay siblings helped prompt her to introduce some of TV’s best and most long-running gay characters to Middle America at a time when it was still considered a big deal.  In this episode the character of Nancy comes out, much to Roseanne and Jackie’s disbelief (up to this point Nancy had been something of a man-eater).  Nancy is played by queer icon Sandra Bernhard and I love that she never sacrifices Nancy’s primary characteristic (her shallowness) in favor of her sexuality.  The show may be better known for the episode in which Roseanne shares a kiss with guest star Mariel Hemingway, but Nancy’s coming out in this episode remains my favorite of Roseanne’s many queer landmarks:

“Resolutions”

My So-Called Life (Season 1, 1995)

Last year I declared My So-Called Life’s Rickie Vasquez as my pick for the Greatest Queer TV Character of all time.  The show’s entire (and only) season is a wonderfully realistic portrayal of a gay teen’s struggle to accept his own sexuality and be accepted by those around him.  This New Year’s Eve episode (double points for being holiday themed!) is the pinnacle of that portrayal.  Rickie has been struggling mightily with both his sexuality and related domestic abuse up to this point, but it’s in this episode where he hits rock bottom—and finds help in the form of a sympathetic gay teacher.  Rickie’s story is heartbreakingly true to life.

“Woman to Woman”

Living Single (Season 3, 1997)

I will never stop proclaiming that Living Single is   one of the most underrated sitcoms of the 90s until we get all five seasons released on DVD!  This Season 3 episode involves my favorite character, Max.  Max’s college friend Shayla comes to New York for her wedding—but when she reveals she’s marrying a woman, Max reacts badly.  But the progressive twist is that Max isn’t upset that Shayla is a lesbian, but rather that she kept it a secret from her for so long when everyone else knew the truth.

“Homer’s Phobia”

The Simpsons (Season 8, 1997)

If I was ranking episodes based on merit, this one just might be my #1.  The Golden Age of The Simpsons brings us this gem of an episode, which never sacrifices the laughs while still managing some razor-sharp social commentary.  John Waters guest stars as a campy shopkeeper who charms the entire Simpson clan, but when Homer learns John is gay and fears his effect on Bart, hilarity ensues.  Homer’s attempts to set Bart on a straight and narrow path are particularly funny.  The gay steel mill scene is one of the series’ highlights

By the episode’s end Homer has a change of heart and mind after being rescued from some rabid reindeer by John.   The Simpsons would go on to have several gay-themed episode in its later years, but never any as funny or insightful as “Homer’s Phobia.”

“Gay Yellow Pages”

Ellen (Season 5, 1997)

Yes, the quality of Ellen dipped after her the character and the real-life Ellen came out, but there were still some great episodes in the show’s fifth and final season.  Take for example “Gay Yellow Pages,” in which a newly out Ellen Morgan tries to connect with the gay community by hosting a prideful party.  However she feels the pressure to be politically correct and only frequent gay-friendly companies, resulting in her hiring a completely incompetent (and scantily clad) gay plumber.  Ellen’s efforts to later hide the fact that she hired a (seemingly) straight plumber to undo the damage while in the midst of hosting her party makes for some great, frenetic comedy.

We’ve now covered TV’s early and awesome efforts to portray queer characters and storylines.  We've come a long way baby, and we owe a lot to these shows for breaking new ground and paving the way for even better, funnier and more poignant portrayals of queer life to come.  

CLOSE-UP ON CHRISTMAS DECOR: THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW EDITION

One of my favorite things about holiday episodes is the decorations—I just love seeing how set designers deck the halls of our favorite sitcom characters.  I love it when the decorations are unrealistically lavish, and I also love it when the décor is more recognizable and grounded in reality.  This is the first in a new series of detailed posts closely examining the holiday decorations found in some classic TV sitcoms.  And when I say detailed, I mean detailed—settle down for a long post!

Of course I have to start with Mary Richards’ apartment on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  Sitcoms like I Love Lucy and The Mary Tyler Moore Show glamorized apartment living for me as a child, so they can be blamed for the fact that I now shell out a ridiculous amount of monthly rent for a tiny NYC apartment (the square footage of New York City apartments is the TV sitcom’s most lasting and egregious falsehood). 

If I had to choose just one TV apartment to inhabit, it would Mary Richards’ Minneapolis abode (I’m talking about her original studio apartment from the first few seasons, and not the larger, more modern one she moved into later).  From my “child of the 80s” perspective the 1970s was not a great decade in terms of aesthetics, especially for fashion and interior design.  But Mary’s apartment has a timeless quality (with a few notable exceptions, such as the swath of shag carpeting).  There are so many charming architectural and design elements: the sunken living room, the potbelly stove, the balcony and, most famously, the gold letter “M” on the wall.  Of course for my first apartment I got my own gold letter “M” and have had one in every subsequent apartment, a talisman that adds just a bit of sitcom to my life.

Mary’s apartment is enviable in any given episode, but in the Season1 Christmas episode, “Christmas and the Hard-Luck Kid II,” it really shines.  The character of Mary Richards loves Christmas and this is evident in her decorating of not only her apartment but her office as well.  So after this rather long preamble, let’s delve in and take a close look at Mary’s Christmas decorations!  Click the pics to see larger versions, so you can take in all of the glorious details.

In the above picture we see Mary finishing up her (perfectly triangular!) tree.  Rhoda sits nearby, refusing to help, as she just got done decorating an entire department store, via her job as a window dresser.  Mary’s tree is the centerpiece of the apartment, perfectly positioned in the middle her of balcony windows.  It’s got the retro large-size lights rarely seen today, and Mary opts for a faux-snow white tree skirt.  Her gifts are wrapped in bright jewel tones—and in this shot, underneath the tree, we see Rhoda’s gift that she unwraps later in the episode.

In this shot we also see garlands and Christmas lights, very perfectly and evenly spaced (which suits Mary’s perfectionist persona).  How one chooses to display their Christmas cards is also very telling, and here we see Mary has opted to attach her many cards to long stretches of vertical ribbon placed on the wall.  My favorite element of all is the Santa head attached to the coat rack by the front door—such a cute touch!

In this next shot (above) we see the most famous decorative element (famous in my mind, after so many repeat viewings of this episode): the front door wrapped like a Christmas present!  This is such a clever way to decorate one’s apartment and one year my sister tried to replicate this look on her own bedroom door, with mixed results.  Mary opts to put the bow of the “present” on the inside door and a wreath on the outside. By the way that’s Phyllis, blocked by Christmas presents, entering the apartment in this scene.

Here we see Rhoda and the wrapped door up close and can admire the geometric Christmas tree pattern of the paper.  Also we see a few of Mary’s aforementioned Christmas cards close-up.  It makes sense that popular, perky Mary would send and receive a lot of Christmas cards (cards from her ex-boyfriends alone could fill the apartment).

This shot shows Mary’s stocking, hung by the fire (or in her case, near her potbelly stove-fireplace).  I’m a bit surprised that Mary opted for a plain, ordinary stock as opposed to a decorative Christmas stocking.  Rhoda is also critical of Mary’s stocking choice—she suggests pantyhose, as they hold more.

I just love how in this shot you can see the reflected Christmas tree and ornaments in the round mirror behind Mary.  I always coveted that tall dresser with the mirror on top—though I’ll take a pass on that ugly, 1970s-style sunflower mug.

In this shot we get a glimpse of a rarely-seen wall in Mary’s apartment (behind her pullout couch).  It gives the sense that Mary decorates all areas of her apartment, as evidenced by the beautiful poinsettia plant and retro Santa Claus figurine behind her.  That same Santa will pop in a couple other places—clearly Mary is a fan.  This shot also gives us a close-up view of that little lion picture on an easel that was always seen in the apartment.  I always imagined it was some sort of representation of “The Lion and the Mouse” Aesop fable (I think that’s a mouse by the lion), but who knows?  It’s a nice little tchotchke, regardless. 

Now we get a look at Mary’s kitchen, as she sadly eats her peanut butter and jelly sandwich on Christmas Eve (she has to work and has no time for a real dinner).  Once again there are nicely draped garlands and a version of that same Santa seen behind the couch.  There’s also a very retro elf in a sleigh—Mary was decades ahead of that whole Elf on the Shelf trend.

That wraps up the Christmas decorations in Mary’s apartment, so now let's take a quick look at her office.  Mary's love of Christmas decor carries over to her desk and a few spots in the WJM news office.

The episode starts with this look at Mary's lavishly decorated desk-- a lack of cubicle or office does not dissuade Mary from decorating.  That's the sort of Christmas spirit I admire!  Mary's desk decor is very retro, from those red felt reindeer, paper bells and snow blanket.  And everybody's favorite Santa figurine makes his third appearance, perched on the edge of Mary's desk.  In the episode's most hilarious moment, Mary wields that same Santa as a would-be weapon against intruders (intruders that turn out to be her co-workers surprising her).  There's also a fun, retro "Merry Christmas" sign on the wall behind Mary.

In those shot we get a close-up view of the little tree on Mary's desk.  I always thought it was very clever to use a gift-wrap bow as the tree-topper, and that it's pink, a non-traditional Christmas color.  Mary is upset in this shot because she's being guilted into working on Christmas Eve by her co-worker-- don't worry, the episode of course has a happy ending!

Finally, as Mary rushes out the office door, we get a glimpse of a chalkboard adorned with cards and the message "Merry Christmas Gang."  You just know Mary wrote that message and put up those cards in her ongoing efforts to spread Christmas cheer.  Over the years I've gleaned a lot of Christmas decorating tips from this episode, from the gift-wrapped door to the bow-topped tree.  We should all be so lucky to have a friend and co-worker as filled with the Christmas spirit as Mary Richards, so in her words: Merry Christmas, Gang!

THE 10 GREATEST QUEER TV CHARACTERS

I have to admit, I am not the biggest fan of Gay Pride Month.  I like the idea of Gay Pride Month, as an effort to broaden representation of the gay community in the ongoing fight against homophobia.  What bothers me is the gap between what Pride is meant to represent and what it actually is, namely an excuse to drink and hold oftentimes over-sexualized parades and events.  In a lot of ways rather than represent the struggle for gay rights Gay Pride Month ends up showcasing a lot of the things that frustrate me about (primarily male) gay culture: the immature partying and the emphasis on sex and appearance.  

But, as I said, I’m not a total curmudgeon; I think Pride serves its purpose and that purpose is ultimately noble.  And a celebration doesn’t have to come in the form of techno music and booze.  A celebration of gay pride can be as simple as a list of the greatest queer TV characters, which I’ve assembled just for the occasion.

As with all of my lists I’m sure some of my choices, or even more so my omissions, will prove controversial.  Just because a character is well very known doesn’t mean they make the cut.  I make my decisions based on my own wildly subjective criteria—and I often prefer lesser known characters and shows exactly because they don’t get as much credit or attention.  So go ahead and start writing your indignant comments  of “Glee!” and “Modern Family!” now.

Okay, here goes!

10. Nancy Bartlett Thomas

Show: Roseanne

Sandra Bernhard is a comedy goddess and a gay icon, but a lot of people may forget that she played the character of Nancy throughout Roseanne’s long run.  Nancy was always flighty and self-involved, but she wasn’t always a lesbian-- she was married for a while to the obnoxious Arnie.  Luckily Arnie was abducted by aliens (really!) and Nancy came out, eventually even dating another character played by Morgan Fairchild.  Nancy was always true to herself and always fun to watch.

Episode to Watch: “Ladies’ Choice”

Nancy comes out to Roseanne and Jackie, much to their initial disbelief.

9. Bob & Ray

Show: Seinfeld

Bob and Ray were minor recurring characters on Seinfeld, but extremely memorable ones.  As a couple they terrorized the regular cast members in three different episodes with their “street tough” demeanor—the joke being that they were actually just totally normal guys who intimidated everyone with their confrontational ways.  Whether chasing down Kramer for not wearing an AIDS ribbon or stealing furniture, it was always fun seeing two tough gay guys calling the shots!

Episode to Watch: “The Soup Nazi”

Bob and Ray steal Elaine's armoire from a helpless Kramer.

8. Captain Jack Harkness

Show: Doctor Who & Torchwood

Jack Harkness brought an Erroll Flynnish air of the swashbuckling rogue to Doctor Who (and eventually headlining spin-off show Torchwood).  He made for an admirable companion to the good Doctor and remained just rougish enough as to remain entirely lovable.  His ominisexuality and penchant for flirting with men, women, aliens and robots made sense for a man from the far-flung future, where sexuality is a lot more fluid and acceptance more widespread. The heroic Jack defies boundaries and stereotypes, and provided us with a much-needed queer science fiction icon.

Episode to Watch: “Captain Jack Harkness”

Jack travels back in time to the 40s to meet the man who’s identity he stole—but romantic complications and heartbreak are in store for both of them.

7. Leon Carp

Show: Roseanne

Leon served as Roseanne’s boss, nemesis, sparring partner and eventual friend up to the very last episode of the show.  His character evolved but he never lost his edge, always prone to a cutting remark.  His coming out was handled a bit more subtly than some of the show’s other outings, as his character had already been around for a while and he only casually mentioned the fact that he was gay during a poker game with Dan and his friends.  Eventually we met Leon’s partner, saw them get married and plan to adopt a kid.  A smart and always funny character, played brilliantly by Martin Mull.

Episode to Watch: “Why Jackie Becomes a Trucker”

Leon casually comes out during a poker game, taking Dan and the viewing audience by surprise.

6. Jerri Blank

Show: Strangers with Candy

Amy Sedaris can inhabit a character so totally it’s easy to forget that they aren’t one and the same.  Certainly I will forever think of her as Jerri Blank, the monstrously selfish former drug addict and dropout giving high school a second chance at the ripe age of 46.  Jerri was no role model, but the frank portrayal of her bisexuality was refreshing amid the character’s more craven characteristics.  She lusted after men, she lusted after women, she just plain lusted!  

Episode to Watch: “Feather in the Storm”

Jerri develops an eating disorder in order to join the debate team.  It’s way more hilarious than it sounds…

5. Ben Sutherland

Show: The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Ben appeared in just one episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, but it happens to be one of the show’s best.  Introduced as Phyllis’ visiting brother, Phyllis is horrified when instead of falling for Mary (as she intended), Ben and Rhoda hit it off.  At one of Mary’s infamously bad parties Phyllis goes off the deep end, expecting Ben and Rhoda to announce their engagement—only for Rhoda to reveal that Ben is gay.  It’s a truly remarkable moment given the time period, especially in the offhand and funny way that it's handled.  Even better is Phyllis’ relief at the revelation; she doesn’t care if Ben is gay, only that he doesn’t date Rhoda!  And really, what self-respecting gay man doesn’t love Rhoda?

Episode to Watch: “My Brother’s Keeper”

Ben makes his first and regrettably only appearance in this fantastic and funny episode.

4. Willow Rosenberg & Tara Maclay

Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You may consider it a cheat to count two characters as one, but Willow and Tara work so well as a couple, and their relationship is so iconic.  Willow of course didn’t start out as gay but was always a great character; however her relationship with Tara made her that much better.  Tara was always an underrated character and one of my particular favorites.  Their relationship was ill-fated but while it lasted it was pure magic (couldn’t resist) and was a groundbreakingly earnest depiction of same-sex love and the development of sexual identity.

Episode to Watch: “Once More, With Feeling”

In this musical episode Tara starts out serenading Willow but ends up leaving her after uncovering her magical betrayal.  

3. Ellen Morgan

Show: Ellen

Are you shocked that Ellen isn’t Number One?  We certainly all owe Ellen Degeneres a huge debt for coming out, both in real life, and in character as Ellen Morgan.  I love both the closeted and out versions of the character, who is neurotic, kind to a fault, and prone to babbling.  Plus she owns an independent bookstore, one of the coolest jobs ever.  True, the quality and humor of Ellen the show suffered a bit post-coming out, but Ellen the character always remained entirely lovable.

Episode to Watch: “Lobster Diary”

Ellen rescues a live lobster from a local seafood restaurant, but then must hide the lobster’s death from the media and guest star Mary Tyler Moore!

2. Thomas Barrow

Show: Downton Abbey

Downton Abbey is highbrow, soapy escapism at its finest.  It may be prone to some over-the-top moments but the show’s characters are nuanced and artfully written, none better than Thomas Barrow.  The villainous, grasping Thomas is ambitious to a fault, but when his sexuality was revealed in the very first episode of the show, Thomas’ bad behavior suddenly made a lot more sense.  Living as a closeted man in 1912 can’t have been easy, and Thomas is as much victim as villain—though whatever his role he always looks positively dashing!

Episode to Watch: “Episode One”

Thomas is first introduced, as is his secret affair with a visiting Duke.

1. Rickie Vasquez

Show: My So-Called Life

My entire family watched My So-Called Life together when its first and only season aired.  We all related to different characters back then, whether it was the beleaguered parents, the rebellious Angela, or in my case the ignored younger sister.  I was only ten when the show first aired so it wouldn’t be for many years that I started identifying with gay teen Rickie more than the twerpy tween sister.  But even at the tender age of 10 Rickie made a powerful impression upon me.  He was different and daring from any other character I’d ever seen on TV: slightly effeminate, stylish, sweet and caring but damaged and sad all at the time.  But the most subversive thing was how he hung out with his female friends in the girls bathroom at school, a small act of defiance that seemed wildly daring—and something I would totally have done myself if I had been braver at that age. The character of Rickie, as well as the actor who portrayed him, Wilson Cruz (who like Rickie eventually also came out), would serve as a role model for a lot of people over the years.  He was a fully realized, realistic, gay teen character who embodied both strength and extreme vulnerability.  He was also a person of color and poor, character traits rarely seen in connection with the affluent, white-washed gay characters regularly still seen on TV. 

Episode to Watch: “So-Called Angels”

In one of the most depressing (yet powerful) Christmas episodes you’ll ever watch, Rickie finds himself homeless for the holidays.

To conclude, I present you with a couple of dishonorable mentions in the form of “Come Out of the Closet, Already!” Awards.  These are for three characters whom I really like but frustratingly were never explicitly outed, despite their wildly queer ways. 

Michele Gerard from Gilmore Girls

Michele was super snarky and SUPER gay but weirdly the character was written as straight—and then later sort of asexual.  He would have been that much better if he’d actually been allowed to come out and have a love life, a big missed opportunity.

Squidward Tentacles from SpongeBob Squarepants

Fox News at one point thought SpongeBob might have been gay but c’mon—with his fussy ways and bachelor lifestyle Squidward is totally the bitchy, elder gay octopus I hope to one day become.

Andrew Wells from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Andrew, a villain turned hero, is still “alive” in the pages of the ongoing Buffy comics.  However he STILL isn’t out, despite constant hints and jokes about his sexuality.  Joss Whedon, a big friend to the queer community, has said he thinks Andrew’s cluelessness is funny but I find it wearisome that he isn’t allowed to evolve and find love and full happiness. Hell, even Tom Lenk, the actor who played Andrew, came out years ago!  

THE 25 GREATEST TV MOMS: THE FINAL 5

We've reached the grand finale of our countdown of the 25 Greatest TV Moms!  The last five ladies on the list are all near and dear to my heart and have provided hours of entertainment over the years.  Let's see if you agree with my choices--enjoy!

5. Emily Gilmore
Show: Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore may be the cool mom who you want to be friends with, but Emily Gilmore is the TV mom I most want to watch.  Yes, she has firm ideas about what’s right and wrong, proper and improper.  But it’s the strength of her convictions that make Emily so entertaining, whether she’s bossing around maids or planning one of her famous parties.  Emily was the one who engineered the show’s Friday Night Dinners as a way of reaffirming her relationship with her daughter and granddaughter, and more than once she displayed her softer side in her efforts to connect with free-spirited Lorelai.  She’s the perfect combination of bitchy and tender, a sharp dresser with an even sharper tongue.  That’s my kind of mother!

Episode to Watch: “Emily in Wonderland”
Emily visits her daughter and granddaughter on their home turf of Stars Hollow.

4. Edina Monsoon
Show: Absolutely Fabulous

Edina, trapped in a state of perpetual adolescence, is mothered by her own daughter.  Saffron provides the lectures, cleans up Eddy’s messes, and reminds her to pay the bills.  There isn’t a holiday or birthday that Eddy doesn’t forget, and she’s never shy about insulting Saffy’s appearance, choice of friends, or life path.  Eddy and Saffy’s screwed-up mother-daughter dynamic is one of the best ever shown on screen, hilarious and dysfunctional but not lacking in love.  Eddy’s a mess but she still loves Saffy, and Saffy still loves Eddy despite her years of neglect, and it’s this undercurrent (however faint) of love that redeems them both.

Episode to Watch: “Paris”
Eddy and Saffy head to Paris for a mother-daughter fashion shoot, but their different styles of tourism clash.

3. Ida Morgenstern
Show: The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Ida was a strong contender for the number one spot on this list.  Few actresses have ever better epitomized the Jewish mother archetype than Nancy Walker.  Ida was fiercely loving of her daughters (and her daughter’s friend Mary).  She was also overbearing, constantly matchmaking and a master of the guilt trip.  Only Ida could gift and then guilt Mary into wearing two scarves at once to prove she liked both equally, or barge into Lou Grant’s office (and mistake him for Murray).  Her diminutive size didn’t prevent her from bulldozing everyone around her—but she just wants you to be happy, okay?  And she knows a very nice man who would be perfect for you…

Episode to Watch: “Support Your Local Mother”
Rhoda refuses to see her mom when she visits, so Ida stays with Mary instead and quickly drives her crazy by treating her like a surrogate daughter

2. Roseanne Conner
Show: Roseanne

Roseanne may not be refined, or soft, or sweet but what she was was real.  She stressed over having enough money to pay the bills.  She worked a series of crappy jobs (waitress, telemarketer, hair sweeper-upper) to make ends meet.  Her house wasn’t the cleanest or her kids super well behaved.  She wasn’t above playing Halloween pranks on her own family or yelling at them. She was also the kind of mom you could count on to forgive your mistakes and always welcome you back home.  We would all be lucky to have a mom like Roseanne, warts and all.

Episode to Watch: “Home Ec”
Roseanne gives Becky’s home ec class a lesson in real world household management (it involves meatloaf).

1. Marie Barone
Show: Everybody Loves Raymond

I’ve noticed a running theme with all of my top five choices.  All of them manage to be both maddening and entirely lovable at the same time. All of them would be overbearing in real life but make for great TV viewing.  I debated over making Roseanne or Ida my number one choice, but when I remembered Marie Barone there was no hesitation.  Marie is the ultimate mother in all senses of the word.  She doesn’t just love her family—she smothers them in love.  She inserts herself into every aspects of their lives and voices her opinion on everything.  She does all of the above with a certain lack of self-awareness, so it becomes nearly impossible for her family to call her out on her actions.  After all, she’s doing it all in the name of love!  And despite their protestations, countless episodes proved that everyone in the Barone clan was ultimately jockeying for her approval.  She’s the unquestioned matriarch, the sun around which the family revolves and the reason why Everybody Loves Raymond was such a classic.

Episode to Watch: “Marie’s Vision”
When Marie gets glasses she starts to notice little things about her family—and they scramble to try and escape her criticisms.  

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, real and fictional!

THE 25 GREATEST TV MOMS, PART 2

Welcome back to Part 2 of my list of the 25 Greatest TV Moms!  Without further ado, let's get to the list...

15. Phyllis Lindstrom
Show: The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Long before Amy Poehler played the “cool mom” in Mean Girls, there was Phyllis Lindstrom.  Phyllis was an enlightened 70s supermom: she had her daughter Bess call her by her first name, talked openly about their feelings, and even let Bess perform in a middle school production of Hair (they played the nude scenes with their clothes on).  But the real joke was that behind her efforts to play it cool Phyllis was as neurotic and overprotective as any other mother.

Episode to Watch: “The Birds…and…um…Bess”  
Phyllis turns to Mary when it comes time to tell daughter Bess about the facts of life.

14.Thelma Harper
Show: Mama’s Family & The Carol Burnett Show

After posting her picture online in honor of Mother’s Day, I was thrilled to discover how much people still love and remember Mama.  Spinning out the popular Carol Burnett Show skits, Mother Harper (played by the significantly younger and uber-talented Vicki Lawrence) ruled the roost.  She was constantly putting her children, daughter-in-law and nephew in their place but when the chips are down who wouldn’t want Mama on their side?  Her particular brand of crotchety common sense reminds me of another icon of mine: Judge Judy!

Episode to Watch: “Mama Gets Goosed”
Mama plans on killing a live goose for Christmas dinner, much to her family’s dismay.

13. Endora
Show: Bewitched

If I was doing a list of TV’s greatest mother-in-laws Endora would have to be number one.  While she gave her son-in-law hell, Endora was actually a great mother to daughter Samantha.  She always challenged Samantha to aim higher and not to abandon her magical heritage.  Think of what a boring show Bewitched would have been without Endora causing trouble! She was also separated (divorced?) from Sam’s father Maurice, making her something of a feminist TV pioneer: a powerful, liberated, single mother.

Episode to Watch: “Trick or Treat”
On Halloween Endora transforms herself into a trick-or-treater (played by a young Maureen McCormick!) and curses what’s-his-name.

12. Aunt Bee
Show: The Andy Griffith Show

Aunt Bee is the second “mom” on the list who isn’t biologically a mother, but anyone who watched The Andy Griffith Show knows just how wonderful a surrogate mother she was to Andy, Opie and even Barney.  Slightly ditzy but full of heart, Bee was the beating heart of Mayberry.  I for one would kill to be invited to one of her Sunday suppers… minus the pickles, of course.

Episode to Watch: “The Pickle Story”
Aunt Bee’s loved ones can’t bring themselves to tell her that her homemade pickles taste atrocious and go to great lengths to protect her feelings.

11. Lorelai Gilmore
Show: Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore is the cool mom that Phyllis Lindstrom longed to be.  Of all the moms on this list Lorelai is probably closest to her kid; their relationship was more like that of sisters than mother and daughter.  At times Lorelai’s expectations and attempts to keep others out of their lives bordered on the pathological, but at the end of the day she’s a model single mother who got her daughter to the Ivy League and simultaneously became a successful businesswoman, and she did it (mostly) on her own terms.  

Episode to Watch: “Road Trip to Harvard”
After ditching her fiancé Lorelai takes daughter Rory on an inspirational trip to Harvard.

10. Lucille Bluth
Show: Arrested Development

Don’t get me wrong: Lucille Bluth is a terrible mother.  She’s monstrously selfish, hard-drinking, and highly critical.  Her adult children are a mess of neuroses, insecurities, and resentment as a result of her “style” of parenting.  Still, Lucille makes for some damn good TV, as she’ll stop at nothing to get her way and her children are her favorite pawns.  The most recent season of Arrested Development hinted at some growth for Lucille, but I personally hope she keeps up her evil ways in the future.

Episode to Watch: “My Mother the Car”
In which Lucille exploits her own son’s head injury to guilt him into getting closer to her and turn him against his siblings.

9. Charlotte Pickles
Show: Rugrats

Rugrats showed us several different modes of motherhood, as displayed by child-psychology addict Didi and feminist bruiser Betty.  However workaholic Charlotte will always be my favorite.  Charlotte always had her cell phone glued to her ear, barking orders at beleaguered assistant Jonathan and doing her mothering in short, concentrated bursts.  She left the majority of the parenting to her husband, which I always thought was rather neat.  Plus she wore a really killer blazer-skirt combo that Ally McBeal herself would lust after.

Episode to Watch: “Mommy’s Little Assets”
Charlotte brings Angelica and the babies to work with her, with both disastrous and surprising results.

8. Kate Gosselin
Shows: Jon & Kate Plus 8 & Kate Plus 8

Okay, I know Kate Gosselin is probably going to my most controversial choice, especially at #8.  I’m not endorsing her televised exploitation of her children or her bitchy behavior, but I also just can’t get enough of watching of her.  I’ve written before that Kate’s brand of suburb bitchery is right up my alley and no one can deny that when it comes to motherhood or her marriage, Kate makes for some memorable not-so-guilty pleasure TV.  I can't wait to see her on Celebrity Apprentice (I'll feel actually guilty about watching that one, but I can't stay away!).

Episode to Watch: “Shopping for Ten”
Kate memorably emasculates then-husband Jon while Christmas shopping at Toys’r’Us.

7. Sophia Petrillo
Show: Golden Girls

If Kate Gosselin’s inclusion on this list proves controversial, Sophia Petrillo not making the Top 5 may also rub some people the wrong way.  Despite her tiny frame Sophia dominated her daughter Dorothy; she was the ultimate truth teller, and her little old lady appearance let her get away with saying and doing a lot of otherwise shocking things.  Despite being described as a “vindictive little sea monkey” by her own daughter, you never once doubted the fierce maternal love that lay beneath Sophia’s acid disposition.  

Episode to Watch: “The Housekeeper”
Sophia is actually absent for most of this episode, which shows that things can go quickly go off the rails without her around.  When she does arrive back home she quickly cuts through the bullshit.

6. Helen Morgendorffer
Show: Daria

Like Charlotte Pickles, Helen Morgendorffer does not have a good work-life balance.  Also like Charlotte, Helen is usually seen on the phone or on her way out the door, heading to her job as a lawyer (maybe she worked at one point with Clair Huxtable?!). Unlike Charlotte, however, Helen makes more of an effort to connect to her two teen daughters, whether it’s mandated family dinners (with frozen lasagnas or husband Jake doing the cooking) or concentrated interrogations.  At the end of the day, however, Helen really was a great mom who genuinely cared for her family and managed to be there for them when it counted, despite her heavy workload. 

Episode to Watch: “Psycho Therapy”
Up for partner at her firm, Helen drags her family for a weekend of psychoanalysis, where she must own up to some of her failings as a mother.

Check back tomorrow when I reveal the Top 5!