FATHER'S DAY

Jem and the Holograms

Season 2 (1987)

I consider myself a child of the 80s as well as the early 90s, but the Jem and the Holograms cartoon was never much on my radar growing up.  My only true association with the show was the fact that my sister owned a Jem doll and once (Defense: I was very young!) I smacked her in the face with it and gave her a bloody nose.  The “Jem doll incident” is part of our family lore but aside from that I never had much of a Jem connection.  Now Jem is having something a renaissance, with a upcoming live-action movie that I will definitely not be seeing, an amazing new comic book adaptation that I can’t recommend enough, and a new audience via Netflix streaming.

I’ve started watching the show and instantly became a fan.  It encompasses all of the neon glamour and excess of the 80s that I love and is camp of the highest order.  What I didn’t realize is how bonkers some of the storylines are—the show goes far beyond rock stars and holograms and features a weird blend of action adventure and real-world issues, including but not limited to: the lost city of Shangri-La, desert islands, illiteracy, runaway trains, drug addiction, zombies, Yugoslavia, and time travel.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Jem also has a Father’s Day-themed episode.  Father’s Day episodes, unlike Mother’s Day episodes, are few and far between, usually because most shows have already ended their seasons by June.  It’s doubly surprisingly that Jem, of all shows, has a Father’s Day episode because it’s a cartoon about female rock stars aimed at a young audience.  Since I’ve been enjoying my recent exploration of the Jemverse I happily settled in to watch Season 2’s “Father’s Day.”

One thing I’ve grown to appreciate about the show is that episodes often focus on the many supporting characters, such as members of rival band the Misfits or friends of Jem and the Holograms.  In “Father’s Day” the focus is on Clash, the Misfit’s number one fan and hanger-on, and Video, the Hologram’s videographer (in the world of Jem you will mostly likely be named after your primary occupation/characteristic, such as videographer Video or dancer Danse.  I guess my Jem named would be Editorix?  Bloggera?).  Video and Clash are cousins who grew up on the same street, but as adults they’ve allied themselves with rival bands, as happens in life.  In this episode, both of them return to their hometown for its annual Father’s Day Banquet, bringing the Holograms and the Misfits and a whole lot of trouble with them.

While Video and Clash fight for the spotlight and the admiration of the locals, Jem and the Holograms are preparing a special song to perform in honor of Video’s dad.  Band member Kimber, however, refuses to write the song since she misses her own (deceased) father.  Kimber eventually pulls a Gerald O’Hara, angrily riding a horse that bucks her off, and then has a change of heart when she meets the father of Pizzazz, the bitchy lead singer of the Misfits.  Just when things are looking bad for Video at the Father’s Day Banquet (which has no food or even tables and looks like a high school dance), the Holograms make a splashy entrance, arriving in Pizzazz’s dad’s private jet.  They perform their song but, surprisingly, Pizzazz and her dad do not reconcile by the end of the episode.

The best part of any Jem episode, aside from the amazing outfits the characters wear, are the music video segments.  Two to three times an episode the Holograms and Misfits will break into song, accompanied by psychedelic imagery.  In this case we’re treated to Kimber’s lament for her late father, “Something Is Missing In My Life,” as well as the Misfits’s unfortunately named “Let’s Blow This Town.”  The finale song and ode to fatherhood is “You’re Always In My Heart.”  I love the songs mostly because they are extremely literal and the lyrics usually just repeat the song’s title ad nauseum—a character will say something like “I’m thirsty” and suddenly the music video text appears and they start singing “I’m thirsty/So thirsty/Life makes me thirsty/I’m sooooo thiirrrsssttttyy!”

This episode didn’t exactly move me to tears but it had all of the elements that make Jem such a fun and highly watchable show.  The animation is terrible but the nostalgia factor is high, and you may find yourself humming “Let’s Blow This Town” after watching.

I hope all you dads out there have a truly, truly outrageous Father’s Day!

Father’s Day Quotient: 3

Own It, See It, Skip It?: You may not be able to convince your dad to sit and watch with you, but this one is worth seeing.

THE 20 GREATEST TV DADS, PART 2

Welcome back to Part 2 of my Greatest TV Dads countdown!  We’re up to the Top 10 and it’s an eclectic mix from TV shows old and new.  Here we go!

10. Howard Borden

Show: The Bob Newhart Show

After he played the goofy neighbor on I Dream of Jeannie Bill Daily went on to play the even goofier next door neighbor on The Bob Newhart Show.  While most might remember Howard as a dim-witted navigator, he was also a stellar single dad.  Despite being a little slow, Howard was always genuinely concerned with his son Howie’s welfare, seeking child-rearing advice from his neighbors and dealing with the sometimes painful repercussions of divorce and co-parenting.  He was  a man ahead of his time, and not nearly as dumb as people thought him.

Episode to Watch: “Sorry, Wrong Mother”

Howard’s new girlfriend tries to win his son Howie’s affection, but Howard himself interferes.

9. Jake Morgendorffer

Show: Daria

Jake Morgendorffer was a man of contradictions: ex-hippie, corporate drone, sensitive and yet full of rage.  Quick to anger and quick to cry, Jake often played up his haplessness by simply drifting off to sleep in mid-argument with his wife and daughters.  And while the women definitely ruled the roost, Jake strived hard to provide his daughters with the kind of receptive, affectionate parenting that he was denied by his strict, emotionless father.  Despite his myriad faults Jake was a good guy and a great dad.

Episode to Watch: “Monster”

Jake falls into a funk when he repeatedly watches a home movie of himself as a child falling off a bicycle and not being ignored by his father.

8. Jack Arnold

Show: The Wonder Years

Jack Arnold was the archetypal dad, or maybe it just seems that way to me because he reminds me so much of my own father.  Hard-working and a bit gruff, Jack isn’t super forthcoming with conversation or his emotions.  He made sacrifices for his family and though he sometimes disapproved of their actions, he always welcomed them back into the fold.  He truly loved his wife and provided for his family, a man of his times and a dad we would all be lucky to have.

Episode to Watch: “The House That Jack Built”

Tempers flare when the family visits daughter Karen at her new house and meet her new boyfriend.

7. Dan Conner

Show: Roseanne

Dan is the fun dad, the kind of dad who will wrestle with you, clown around and order pizza for dinner when Roseanne was out of the house.  He slaved away at menial jobs just to make ends meet but he also remained a big kid and the good cop to Roseanne’s more strict bad cop role.  When he need to, though, Dan could become rather fearsome, such as when he was defending his sister-in-law from an abusive boyfriend. What a lovable lug!

Episode to Watch: “Like A New Job”

With Roseanne busy at her new waitressing job, Dan takes over parenting, with mixed results (it involves clothes being thrown onto the front lawn).

6. Burt Hummel

Show: Glee

I almost resent how the character of Burt Hummel was written, because he’s so engineered for maximum likeability.  He’s the salt of the earth type, a blue collar man’s man and yet a big softy underneath.  His gradual acceptance of his teenage son’s coming out remains some of Glee’s most poignant moments.  And for added fatherhood points, actor Mike O'Malley also played another admirable TV dad on Yes, Dear!

Episode to Watch: “Preggers”

Kurt comes out to his dad and joins the football team—all this plus a performance of “Single Ladies.”

5. Luke Danes

Show: Gilmore Girls

Luke Danes is a father three times over: surrogate dad to Rory, uncle to errant nephew Jess, and eventually a biological dad to his own long-lost daughter.  He fulfilled all three roles admirably, encouraging Rory in everything she did and bemoaning her poor eating habits, exercising tough love with Jess and standing by April even when her own mother tried to keep him out of the picture.  Luke is a stand-up guy—and he can cook, making him the complete package.

Episode to Watch: “A Family Matter”

Luke must deal with both his flaky sister Liz and the reappearance of Jess—and admits to stealing Jess’ car.

4. Cliff Huxtable

Show: The Cosby Show

I have to admit that despite growing up watching The Cosby Show I’m not the show’s biggest fan.  However there is no denying that when you think of “TV Dad” Cliff Huxtable immediately springs to mind.  With his wry sense of humor and ability to bond with kids of all ages, Cliff was an accomplished professional (an OBGYN, appropriately enough) but also the ultimate sage at home, dispensing advice in all situations to his many kids.

Episode to Watch: “Father’s Day”

The Cosby kids band together to provide a special Father’s Day for Cliff—six months early.

3. Rupert Giles

Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Giles is the only non-biological dad on my list (unless you count Professor Utonium, but that’s kind of a gray area).  But Giles proves that biology does not an excellent father make, as he mentored and cared for not only Buffy but the entire Scooby Gang.  Wise, stuffy, and always brave in the defense of his “kids,” Giles cemented the sense of surrogate family that was such a strong theme throughout Buffy’s run.

Episode to Watch: “Band Candy”

Giles reverts to his teenage self, showing Buffy and the Scooby Gang a decidedly different version of their mentor.

2. Louie C.K.

Show: Louie

Louie is one of those characters who always seems to say and do exactly the wrong thing, blundering his way from one awkward situation to the next.  But one of his redeeming qualities is his love for his two young daughters.  He often admits truths that other parents would hesitate to voice out loud, but whether he’s letting his daughter dress up as Frederick Douglas for Halloween or trying desperately to repair a broken doll, fatherhood is one area of his life where he’s able to rise above his own foibles and do something right.

Episode to Watch: “Lily Changes”

Louie goes crazy when he discovers that his daughter Lily is missing, leading him on a mad dash to find her.

1. Michael Bluth

Show: Arrested Development

The whole premise of Arrested Development lies in its wildly self-involved characters, a family who is quick to turn on one another for their own self-interests.  In the midst of this familial insanity Michael, however reluctantly, was the rock that his entire family relied on, including his own father.  Above all Michael strived to be a good dad to his son George Michael, instilling in him the same “family first” values that he practiced.  Once could argue that the most recent season of Arrested Development messed somewhat with Michael’s character (the season does end with George Michael punching his dad in the face, after all) but in my estimation Michael will always be the ultimate dad.

Episode to Watch: “Pilot”

Michael decides to finally turn his back on his family after one betrayal too many, but he finds himself invariably drawn back to the fold.

That’s all folks!  Don’t forget to show your dad (or Watcher or surrogate dad or dad-like loved one) some love this Father’s Day!

THE 20 GREATEST TV DADS, PART 1

I must admit I had a bit of a harder time composing my list of the 20 Greatest TV Dads than I did my list of TV Moms.  It may be because I favor female-centric shows where the dads tend to be absentee, but it's also because a lot of dads on TV are of the "lovable doofus" variety, which is not my favorite type of character.  Once you eliminate the Homer Simpsons and Al Bundys there's not a lot left to work with.  So instead of a Top 25 I came up with a Top 20.  And here's my standard disclaimer: this list is entirely subjective and prone to my own whims, but I always welcome suggestions and spirited debate in the form of comments!

And now on to the list!

20. Ted Crisp

Show: Better Off Ted

Better Off Ted was a short-lived and much beloved show, a satire of evil corporations that often veered into very zany territory.  The show’s protagonist was Ted Crisp, who wavered between being a model employee and an everyday guy with a conscience.  He was also a single dad, and while he sometimes made questionable decisions concerning his underlings at work, he always did right by his daughter.  In a show that specialized in poking merciless fun at its often hapless characters, Ted’s love for his daughter was never anything less than genuine.

Episode to Watch: “Through Rose-Colored HAZMAT Suits”

Ted brings his daughter to work for the day- but when you work for an evil conglomerate things can wrong quickly.

19. Kevin Burke

Show: Two of a Kind

I’ve written about my surprising love of Two of a Kind before, and a big part of that is my affection for single dad Kevin Burke.  A somewhat uptight college professor and widower raising his twin daughters, Kevin also clashed and flirted with free-spirited nanny Carrie.  A potentially boring role was made interesting by Christopher Sieber, a respected theater actor whose performance made Kevin a likeable and admirable TV dad.

Episode to Watch: “Nightmare on Carrie’s Street”

Kevin must track down his daughters after they sneak off to a forbidden Halloween party.

18. Guy Blank

Show: Strangers With Candy

Guy’s second wife Sara made my Top TV Mom’s list; she played the wicked stepmother to his loving father.  But the genius of Guy Blank is that he never spoke a word or moved a muscle—rather he was always seen frozen in place, an over-the-top expression of glee or fury plastered across his unmoving face. Guy’s immobility never phased his family, who all seemed to love and understand him. Guy was finally seen in motion during his last episode;  after his death he appears during the closing credits for a final waltz with daughter Jerri, a surprisingly tender moment for an otherwise deliciously bonkers show.

Episode to Watch: “The Goodbye Guy”

Guy meets his untimely end via a pack of wild dogs—leaving Jerri alone just in time for the annual Interschool Father-Student sack race. 

17. Frank Costanza

Show: Seinfeld

Frank is a nightmare of a dad: quick to anger, constantly yelling, petty and stingy to the extreme.  But it’s all of these qualities that make him so much fun to watch, whether he’s hashing it out with wife Estelle or making life miserable for his son George.  And with a dad like Frank, is it any wonder George turned out the way he did?  Jerry Stiller played a very similar role to Frank in King of Queens, but where Frank was lovably irascible Arthur was gratingly awful, demonstrating what a fine line this type of character has to tread.

Episode to Watch: “The Strike”

Frank revives his homemade alternative to Christmas—the infamous Festivus.

16. Greg Warner

Show: Yes, Dear

Yes, Dear was one of those seemingly bland sitcoms that chugged along for many seasons, but I was always a fan of its gentle humor and likeable cast.  As portrayed by sitcom veteran Anthony Clark, beleaguered dad Greg was the sensitive counterpart to his rough-around-the-edges brother-in-law.  Their different parenting styles clashed, but I was always partial to Greg’s somewhat neurotic but always loving methods. 

Episode to Watch: “Halloween”

Greg vows revenge after a neighbor scares his son while he’s trick-or-treating.

15. Charles Finster

Show: Rugrats

Charles Finster is yet another single dad (or at least he was until he eventually remarried, but I chose to ignore the later seasons of Rugrats).  He and son Chuckie look almost identical, with their thick glasses and wild red hair.  And perhaps due to Chaz’s overprotective parenting, Chuckie was something of a mess of neuroses.  At the end of the day though Chaz always did right by his son, whether teaching him about the evils of germs or dressing as Santa and getting stuck in the chimney while trying to prove that Santa Claus isn’t terrifying (he failed, but I appreciate the effort).

Episode to Watch: “Mr. Clean”

With the use of sock puppets, Chaz teaches Chuckie about cleanliness—and unintentionally turns him into a germaphobe.

14. Andy Taylor

Show: The Andy Griffith Show

Andy Taylor is such an iconic dad that there’s a statue of him and son Opie depicting their fabled fishing trip, as it appears in the opening credits of The Andy Griffith Show.  Andy was a widower raising young Opie alongside Aunt Bee, and despite a busy job as town sheriff he always had time for a folksy parable to solve Opie’s latest moral dilemma.  Andy was also a father figure of sorts to hapless deputy Barney Fife, earning him double dad points!

Episode to Watch: “Opie the Birdman”

In this tear-jerker classic, Andy counsels Opie, first when he adopts some orphaned baby birds and then later when it’s time to set them free.

13. Rob Petrie

Show: The Dick Van Dyke Show

Rob Petrie is perhaps remembered best for taking a tumble over an ottoman (night after night after night!) but he was also a great dad.  He dressed as a clown and performed at son Richie’s birthday party, but even better he always brought Richie home a present from the office—even if it was just a stick of gum, Richie was always delighted.  Who wouldn’t want Dick Van Dyke as their dad?!

Episode to Watch: “What’s in a Middle Name?”

Rob must explain to his son, via flashback, why his middle name is Rosebud.

12. Professor Utonium

Show: The Powerpuff Girls

Professor Utonium is one of many single dads on my list but he’s the only one to create his super-powered daughters via science.  A send-up of the white coat-clad, pipe-smoking, know-it-all scientists of retro science fiction films, the Professor makes for an unlikely but surprisingly great father.  After all, he makes parenting three super-powered preschoolers look easy and still has time for science experiments! 

Episode to Watch: “Mommy Fearest”

Professor Utonium falls in love with Ima Goodlady—but the girls suspect that there’s more to Ima than meets the eye.

11. Martin Crane

Show: Frasier

The character of Martin Crane was a TV retcon—when the character of Frasier was on Cheers he claimed his father was dead, but when the Frasier spin-off happened Martin was resurrected as part of the main cast.  Once the character of Martin was revealed it actually made sense that Frasier had hidden him away.  Martin was everything his cultured, effete sons were not: a former cop with a taste for beer and hideous furniture.  It’s these very differences between father and sons that made their relationship so special, for despite their vastly different styles there was never any doubt of Martin’s love and pride in his family. 

Episode to Watch: “Out With Dad”

In order to help Frasier woo a new love interest Martin pretends to be gay.  Complications naturally ensue.

Tune in tomorrow for the Top 10 Greatest TV Dads!