COMMERCIAL BREAK: CHRISTMAS 2014

Christmas is the one time of year that I actually love watching commercials.  I almost begrudge our TIVO, which the other 11 months of the year saves us from a boring litany of car advertisements, but in December potentially blocks all of the delightful holiday ads that I so enjoy.

Rest assured, I’ve managed to absorb many a Christmas commercial this holiday season (via YouTube, the TVs at our gym, and a live viewing of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade).  Here’s a roundup of some new and old favorites.

It seems that British department store John Lewis is determined to make everyone sob around Christmas.  Last year I was obsessed with their “The Bear & the Hare” animated sobfest.  Though I'm not as crazy about the song choice, this year they once again bring out the big guns of cutsey animals, sentimentality and pop music.  This ad just kills me—KILLS me—in all the right ways.  Especially that twist ending.

This season I've always really enjoyed Target's latest holiday offering, set to the delightful song "It's A Marshmallow World."  I'm a sucker for anything even remotely Alice in Wonderland-related, and this is a delightful mashup of Alice, Christmas, and some childhood icons in the form of Barbie and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

Speaking of childhood icons, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this Honda ad over the aforementioned Thanksgiving break.  It's a clever preying-upon of 80s nostalgia-- and a somewhat depressing revelation that my age bracket is now Honda's chief demographic.  I would have preferred She-Ra or even Mumm-Ra from Thundercats, but this ad makes great  use of Skeletor's signature screech.

Finally, let's watch a couple of "retro" Christmas commercials from that magical period of time known as the 1990s.  I became very interested in actress-singer Lena Horne this past year after watching a rerun of A Different World in which she guest starred.  Some googling led me to this Gap Christmas commercial that Ms. Horne did back in ye olde 1997.  I appreciate the stripped-down aesthetic, neutral color tone and jazzy beat that nevertheless still conveys the holiday spirit:

Finally, another favorite of mine has always been this Campbell's soup ad, which must be popular because it ran during December for years.  It's cutesy-cozy in the best way, and despite the slightly creepy look the kid gives at the end, if you're not craving chicken noodle soup by the end of it I question your humanity (or at least your appetite):

We've really covered the Christmas commercial bases here, from lovesick penguins to emaciated evil warlords, so I think it's time now to return to our regularly scheduled programming.  But before you reach for your DVR remote to zip past the commercials this December, maybe take a moment and actually watch a few.  You may be pleasantly surprised!

COMMERCIAL BREAK: CHRISTMAS!

It’s here!  The Christmas season is happily upon us at last!  Everyone’s got their favorite holiday but I seriously LIVE for Christmas.  And now that we’ve eaten the sacrificial turkey it's time for the Big Show (to borrow a turn-of-phrase from Elf).  Since today is Black Friday and the official kick-off of the gift-giving season I thought it would be appropriate to begin with a Commercial Break.

Christmas commercials have always been a real treat.  Along with our family-favorite holiday episodes there were the commercials, taped to VHS and immortalized for repeat viewings.  Like the holiday itself Christmas commercials can be exuberant or melancholy; energizing or heartwarming.  For this first round-up I’ve selected a mix of some classics and new additions that run the gamut of yuletide emotions.

First up we have this Coke commercial.  Nothing but nothing gets me in the holiday mood more than that familiar chant: “The holidays are coming/the holidays are coming/the holidays are coming…”  I also always sort of associated Coke with Christmas since it’s one of the few times a year we had it growing up, served in fancy crystal glasses alongside our parent’s wine and the ubiquitous Martinelli’s sparkling cider at Christmas dinner.   And don’t even get me started on the Christmas they had a special limited edition Vanilla Coke…

Now that we’re in a festive mood, I’ve been dying to share this British advert since I first watched it a month ago when it made the rounds of the interwebs.  It’s for department store John Lewis and those Brits have really made an art of annual Christmas ads.  Yes, anything with animated forest animals is automatically calculated for maximum emotional effect but I don’t care: this commercial kills me with feelings.  Kills me.  

Now, wasn’t that beautiful?  As we wipe the tears from the corner of our eyes let’s move on to something vintage.  This 1980s 7-Up commercial was one of the many on the aforementioned VHS tapes of my youth.  I feel like present-day commercials aren’t nearly as elaborate as those of my childhood but this is pure 80s goodness.

Finally, I’m choosing to wrap things up with a somewhat innocuous Folger’s commercial that nevertheless sums up everything that’s great about vintage Christmas commercials.  Undeniably cheesy, it tells a story about a college-age kid coming home for the holidays (just like 90% of all other holiday commercials).  There’s just something about it that screams Christmas to me, maybe because I drink twice as much coffee when I’m home for the holidays than I do on a normal basis (blame a need to stay energized and my mom's own coffee habit).
  

Have I whetted your appetite for the Christmas TV joys that await us?  Hopefully you had a great Thanksgiving and are sane and therefore not out shopping with the masses but rather snuggled up at home, eating microwaved leftover mashed potatoes and gravy and delving in to all of that glorious Christmas TV!

COMMERCIAL BREAK: Pizza Hut & Taco Bell Halloween

I can’t believe I somehow forgot about Pizza Head but while doing some research for the blog we were happily reunited.  For those of you who may have also forgotten, he was the talking pizza slice that met with several unfortunate fates in numerous Pizza Hut commercials in the 90s.  For Halloween he dressed liked a pirate and investigated a haunted house:

Of course I was reminded while watching this of the McNugget Buddies commercial, which similarly features anthropomorphic junk food in a miniature haunted castle.  I seriously adore these mini masterpieces!  Someone got paid to make mini suits of armor and sarcophagi and that person, whoever they are, is living my dream.

I also came across this Taco Bell commercial:

I’m currently reading a Goosebumps book (more on that soon) so I was thrilled to learn of this line of Goosebumps-inspired fast food toys.  Details online are sketchy (Taco Bell toys are clearly not as cherished as McDonald’s or Burger King’s) but from what I could glean they were essentially school supplies in the form of Goosebumps monsters.  The Mummy was a measuring tape and Slappy, the evil ventriloquist dummy, was a sort of pseudo-Pez dispenser. 

 

I owned a fair amount of Burger King kids meal toys in my day but apparently, like fast food itself, I can never get enough of these things!  

COMMERCIAL BREAK: McNugget Buddies

When I was a kid I knew Halloween was on its way when the "spooky" commercials started creeping in between our Saturday morning cartoons.  I feel like modern holiday commercials are fewer and far between and way less elaborate than in the golden age of the 80s and early 90s (or maybe it’s just me?).  Regardless, in those golden times the Halloween commercials were plentiful and a marvel to behold.  They were primarily for two things: fast food and cereal.  Around Halloween, candy and soda commercials were the runners up.

For whatever reason one commercial that has held fast in my memory is this ad for McDonald’s, featuring the “McNugget Buddies.”  Maybe it’s just because the idea of a talking chicken nugget dressed like the Bride of Frankenstein is rather unusual.  Or maybe it’s because as a miniature enthusiast I was impressed by the mini-castle set.  Whatever the reason, it’s rather amazing:

And not only did the McNugget Buddies star on a series of commercials, they even got their own Happy Meal toy line in the early 90s.  Sadly I didn’t have any of these, as fast food was a rare treat as a kid and we were more Burger King folk.  But I’m sure I coveted them at the time (I certainly do now), along with every other fast food toy ever made. 

Are you craving McNuggets yet?!  If so, that’s messed up because they can talk and have personalities and costumes and SOULS you sicko!

Yes, this is a picture of Count McNugget bathing in Sweet & Sour Sauce.  Don't act like you wouldn't, given the chance.