ST. PATRICK'S DAY

30 Rock
Season 6 (2012)

You may have gathered from the recent dearth of posts that the various Valentine’s Day episodes I’ve been watching were leaving me rather uninspired.  While I can’t be counted among the V-Day “Hallmark holiday” haters (I could never truly hate any holiday), Valentine’s Day episodes were proving rather dull. Now we enter a new and exciting time, as the next few holidays are going to prove challenging in terms of ferreting out TV episodes.  St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Arbor Day and the rest of the spring holidays are not nearly as favored by sitcom writers, which makes the episodes that do exist rare and special.  I live for the obscure (even the semi-obscure) so this is going to be fun!

After that pep talk, my first St. Patrick’s Day post comes from a hardly obscure source, as 30 Rock is much beloved and well-known.  But I wanted to start with something I knew would be good, and 30 Rock never lets me down.  And with a main character named Jack Donaghy you just know that this show is going to deliver a solid ode to St. Patrick’s Day (actually two, as there is also Season 3’s “The Funcooker”).  

As typical of the modern, slightly schizophrenic sitcom style, we are treated to not one but three different storylines, all set in NYC on St. Patrick’s Day.  Our heroine Liz Lemon detests the holiday and plans on dressing all in orange and barricading herself in her apartment along with her boyfriend Criss in order to avoid the drunken masses.  Her plans are ruined when her douchey ex-boyfriend Dennis shows up and proceeds to drive a wedge between Liz and Criss by exposing her inability to say “I love you” (one of her evasions, as seen in flashback, is simply saying “Scooby Doo!”).

The orange-clad couple judge from their ivory apartment tower

Meanwhile Jenna and Tracy are tasked with live-hosting the St. Patrick’s Day parade, but they end up clashing on-air over who is the bigger celebrity.  Their boss Jack also finds himself at loose ends when he is beaten by a role-playing game that the writers are playing (they also stay in during St. Patrick’s day because they all have faces that invite punching).  Jack finds the difficult game, a parody of Settlers of Catan, to be a metaphor for his own stagnant career, though he eventually rallies and wins both the game and his confidence back.

After being unmasked by Dennis as being more Irish than she’d care to admit, Liz runs after Criss, braving the drunken hordes (she dons Incredible Hulk gloves, as they were the only green thing she owned).  Liz finally tells Chriss that she loves him, which is broadcast live via the parade.  The episodes ends with Jenna singing “Danny Boy,” because you can never go wrong with Jenna Maroney (aka Jane Krakowski) and her lovely singing voice.

Tracy Morgan makes for a surprisingly convincing leprechaun.  Also: hobgoblin.

Special events that inspire drinking, like St. Patrick’s Day, baseball games and the dreaded Santa Con (*shudder*) do tend to be nightmares in the city, especially on the subway.  So I can totally relate to Liz, though not to her wearing orange (that’s just wrong; I far prefer Jack’s shiny green tie in this episode).  I also loathed Settlers of Catan the one time I played it, so this episode was pretty much tailor-made for me, including even the Incredible Hulk gloves.  

If you’re looking to get in the Irish spirit this March but want to avoid the legions of “it’s a holiday so I can be a drunken asshole" assholes, you can model yourself after Liz and stay in and order Thai food.  Or follow my method: right after work go to the nearest pub in walking distance, gulp down a meal of corned beef and cabbage and get the hell out of there by 6 or 6:30.  Head home and settle in, content in the knowledge that you did your holiday pub duty while still making it home in time for brownies with green-mint icing and a viewing of Darby O’Gill and the Little People.

St. Patrick’s Day Quotient: 4

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Embrace your inner Irish: go watch this episode!

HEY, BABY, WHAT'S WRONG?

30 Rock

Season 6 (2012)

I've never before been so committed to watching Valentine's Day episodes, so it's been fun tracking a whole new set of TV tropes that come with the holiday.  I've discovered that pretty much every Valentine's Day-themed episode, whether it be sitcom, drama or reality show, will feature at least one character who hates the holiday and decries it as a made-up "Hallmark holiday."  Indeed, judging by TV standards alone, Valentine's Day must easily be the most hated holiday of them all.  30 Rock not only brought us numerous Valentine's Day episodes over the course of its seven seasons, but it also crowned Liz Lemon the Queen of Hating Valentine's Day (a crown I would like to see-- I'm picturing iron spikes piercing paper hearts).

30 Rock made Valentine's Day episodes a tradition so there are a wealth to choose from.  The best and wackiest (which is saying something) is probably the hour-long "Hey, Baby, What's Wrong?" AKA The Ikea Episode.  We begin with Liz Lemon being awakened by her boyfriend Criss, who serenades her with a half-written love song.  Liz tells him that she plans on ignoring the holiday, based on her history of disastrous February 14ths (which we are shown a quick montage of, flashing back to some of the earlier episodes).  Criss convinces Liz that now that they are together they can turn the holiday around, promising to make her a romantic dinner, complete with "mashed potatoes served in martini glasses."  Yum!  When they realize that they don't even have a dining room table, however, a horrified Liz states that they'll have to go Ikea.

The rest of the episode unfolds as Criss and Liz attempt to navigate the store without arguing, as Ikea tends to destroy relationships.  This makes total sense to me, as Target tends to be kryptonite for Nick and I; rarely can we make a Target trip without some sort of argument ensuing.  Blame the stress, blame the crowds, blame the rage-inducing red shopping carts.  In this episode Ikea plays a similar role, challenging Liz and Criss' happiness at every turn.  There's even a stalkerish employee who follows their increasing tension with creepy glee, feeding off of their misery.  

You've just gotta love those blue giant-sized Ikea bags!

Despite Criss' efforts to buy heart-shaped salt and pepper shakers, Liz eventually blows her top when he can't decide on a table.  They end up arguing and she stalks off, convinced their relationship is over and that Ikea has won.  However once she returns home she finds a totally calm Criss, who has assembled a table out of tree limbs and an old Herman Cain campaign poster and cooked the romantic dinner after all.  He shows Liz that one Ikea fight does not a relationship end and they settle down to dinner-- only for the makeshift table to collapse and Liz to utter the best and final line of the episode: "This gets me out of sex!"

Conservatives in love. It involves a lot of navy and gray.

Since this is an hour-long episode there are a ton of other storylines.  One involves Jack fighting his attraction to his mother-in-law (guest star Mary Steenbergen) as they visit the U.N.  Concurrently producer Pete attempts to coach Jenna for her live singing event, eventually figuring out that pain is her best motivation.  Finally, yet another plot follows loser Lutz as he's coached by his co-workers on how to pick up insecure women (hence the episode's title).  Jack's scenes at the U.N. are a lot of fun (they involve a totally-not-a-vampire Transylvanian delegate) but even better is a scene in which a desperate restauranteur tries to lure Jack and his mother-in-law in for a romantic Valentine's Day dinner.  Seriously, is there anything more terrible than those guys who stand outside restaurants and  aggressively try to get you inside?  This is why I hate you, Little Italy.

Though it's a bit overflowing, even given the extra half-hour, this is a standout episode of the show as well as terrific Valentine's Day viewing.  I was never a big fan of the Criss character, perhaps due to the casting of so-so actor James Marsden.  Plus it just seemed that a smart character like Liz would never sell out for a dumb (albeit loving) pretty boy.  But the real draw here, as always, is Tina Fey's portrayal of Liz Lemon, in all her self-deprecating glory.  The jokes come so fast you'll need repeat viewings to catch them all, and it doesn't get more Valentinish than someone getting shot with an arrow, as Jenna is during her moment in the spotlight.

Recurring Themes: Liz represents the Everybody Hates Valentine's Day masses.  And while they aren't technically shopping for gifts, Liz and Criss' trip to Ikea counts as Last Minute Shopping.

Valentine's Day Quotient: 3

See It, Skip It, Own It?

All of 30 Rock is worth owning, for the Valentine's Day episodes alone.