TV'S GREATEST QUEER-THEMED EPISODES (1970s-2000)

It’s been a historic and particularly celebratory Gay Pride Month this year, given the recent historic Supreme Court ruling. Last year, in honor of Gay Pride Month, I made a list of the Greatest Queer TV Characters of All Time.  This year I decided to compile a list of the greatest queer-themed TV episodes.  Rather than rank them I’m going in chronological order to better show the evolution of queer representation on TV.  This list covers the 1970s through the year 2000, and one of these days I'll write Part 2, which will encompass the modern era. 

Please note that this list is NOT comprehensive—a lot of great queer characters, stories, and shows are not represented here.  These are just my personal favorites, and all are well-worth watching.

“My Brother’s Keeper”

The Mary Tyler Moore Show (Season 3, 1973)

Amazingly progressive for it’s time (and even by today’s standards), this episode of my beloved Mary Tyler Moore Show keeps its big gay twist for the very end.  Throughout the episode Phyllis is increasingly upset over the closeness of her visiting brother Ben and her archenemy Rhoda.  But just as Phyllis’ histrionics reach their peak (at one of Mary’s infamously disastrous parties, naturally), Rhoda reveals that Ben is gay and therefore they are simply good friends.  It’s the refreshingly casual way Rhoda reveals the info and Phyllis’ relieved reaction that make this episode a standout.  If only Ben hadn’t been limited to just a one-episode guest spot… Rhoda and Ben could have become the Jack and Karen of the 1970s!

“The Gay Bar”

Maude (Season 6, 1977)

I finally watched Maude from start to finish for the first time last year and I reveled in the show’s many progressive topics, but most of all Bea Arthur’s flawless, complicated portrayal of Maude herself.  True, this gay-themed episode is heavy-handed (as many of the show’s topical episodes were), but it’s also earnest in its intentions.  And Bea Arthur brings the funny, as always.  This episode concerns Maude’s efforts to combat homophobic neighbor Arthur’s campaign to close down a new gay bar in Tuckahoe.  Both Arthur and Maude end up at the bar, where, overzealous as always, Maude goes out of her way to bond with the gay patrons.

“Isn’t It Romantic?”

Golden Girls (Season 2, 1986)

Golden Girls is one of the most iconic gay shows of all time for many, many reasons (the women are all basically drag queens, for starters).  But aside from its camp sensibility the show tackled gay issues head-on multiple times (there was even a gay housekeeper named CoCo in the pilot episode, but he was—perhaps thankfully—dropped).  Aside from the episodes dealing with Blanche’s gay brother (who eventually got married on the show), we have this Season 2 episode dealing with Dorothy’s friend Jean.  On the heels of a breakup, Jean stays with the girls for a bit and finds herself falling in love with Rose—who is utterly clueless about Jean’s affections.  The scene in which Dorothy and Sophia explain that Jean is a lesbian to both Rose and Blanche is a highpoint:

But it’s the sweet acceptance and understanding that Rose ultimately displays that makes this episode something special.

“Killing All the Right People”

Designing Women (Season 2, 1987)

Oh boy, this episode deals with some heavy stuff and it does not have a typically happy sitcom ending.  But it does mark an extremely important moment in TV history, as the women of Sugarbakers Design Firm deal with the AIDS crisis.  Kendall, a friend and fellow decorator, comes to Sugarbakers’ and asks them to plan his funeral, as he is dying of AIDS.  Julia’s subsequent epic takedown of a homophobic client is the stuff of legend:

You’ll be sobbing by the end, though, as the last scene depicts Kendall’s funeral, a grimly realistic ending during the height of the AIDS crisis.  The episode is made all the more poignant with the knowledge that creator-writer Linda Bloodworth-Thomason’s own mother died of AIDS after being infected via a blood transfusion.

“Ladies’ Choice”

Roseanne (Season 5, 1992)

Roseanne Barr deserves a lot of credit for dragging gay rights issues out of the closet and on to our TV screens in the early 90s.  The fact that she has two gay siblings helped prompt her to introduce some of TV’s best and most long-running gay characters to Middle America at a time when it was still considered a big deal.  In this episode the character of Nancy comes out, much to Roseanne and Jackie’s disbelief (up to this point Nancy had been something of a man-eater).  Nancy is played by queer icon Sandra Bernhard and I love that she never sacrifices Nancy’s primary characteristic (her shallowness) in favor of her sexuality.  The show may be better known for the episode in which Roseanne shares a kiss with guest star Mariel Hemingway, but Nancy’s coming out in this episode remains my favorite of Roseanne’s many queer landmarks:

“Resolutions”

My So-Called Life (Season 1, 1995)

Last year I declared My So-Called Life’s Rickie Vasquez as my pick for the Greatest Queer TV Character of all time.  The show’s entire (and only) season is a wonderfully realistic portrayal of a gay teen’s struggle to accept his own sexuality and be accepted by those around him.  This New Year’s Eve episode (double points for being holiday themed!) is the pinnacle of that portrayal.  Rickie has been struggling mightily with both his sexuality and related domestic abuse up to this point, but it’s in this episode where he hits rock bottom—and finds help in the form of a sympathetic gay teacher.  Rickie’s story is heartbreakingly true to life.

“Woman to Woman”

Living Single (Season 3, 1997)

I will never stop proclaiming that Living Single is   one of the most underrated sitcoms of the 90s until we get all five seasons released on DVD!  This Season 3 episode involves my favorite character, Max.  Max’s college friend Shayla comes to New York for her wedding—but when she reveals she’s marrying a woman, Max reacts badly.  But the progressive twist is that Max isn’t upset that Shayla is a lesbian, but rather that she kept it a secret from her for so long when everyone else knew the truth.

“Homer’s Phobia”

The Simpsons (Season 8, 1997)

If I was ranking episodes based on merit, this one just might be my #1.  The Golden Age of The Simpsons brings us this gem of an episode, which never sacrifices the laughs while still managing some razor-sharp social commentary.  John Waters guest stars as a campy shopkeeper who charms the entire Simpson clan, but when Homer learns John is gay and fears his effect on Bart, hilarity ensues.  Homer’s attempts to set Bart on a straight and narrow path are particularly funny.  The gay steel mill scene is one of the series’ highlights

By the episode’s end Homer has a change of heart and mind after being rescued from some rabid reindeer by John.   The Simpsons would go on to have several gay-themed episode in its later years, but never any as funny or insightful as “Homer’s Phobia.”

“Gay Yellow Pages”

Ellen (Season 5, 1997)

Yes, the quality of Ellen dipped after her the character and the real-life Ellen came out, but there were still some great episodes in the show’s fifth and final season.  Take for example “Gay Yellow Pages,” in which a newly out Ellen Morgan tries to connect with the gay community by hosting a prideful party.  However she feels the pressure to be politically correct and only frequent gay-friendly companies, resulting in her hiring a completely incompetent (and scantily clad) gay plumber.  Ellen’s efforts to later hide the fact that she hired a (seemingly) straight plumber to undo the damage while in the midst of hosting her party makes for some great, frenetic comedy.

We’ve now covered TV’s early and awesome efforts to portray queer characters and storylines.  We've come a long way baby, and we owe a lot to these shows for breaking new ground and paving the way for even better, funnier and more poignant portrayals of queer life to come.  

DARK KNIGHT COURT

The Simpsons

Season 24 (2013)

I’ve written before about the scarcity of Easter-themed TV episodes, but luckily The Simpsons has been around for so long that the show has gifted us with not just one Easter episode, but multiple ones (okay, well, at least two that I’m aware of).  Up until now I’d never seen “Dark Knight Court,” for as a Simpsons purist I stick to the first 11 seasons or so.  I was pleasantly surprised by the first five minutes, and then the rest of the (Easter-less) episode was a reminder of why the show has mostly lost its charms.

But let’s start with the good stuff!  We get a nice burst of not only Easter but St. Patrick’s Day right off the bat, as we zoom into the sky during the familiar opening credits and the Easter Bunny and a Leprechaun suddenly appear, battling it out and then exploding in a burst of Easter eggs and shamrocks.  Presumably this is because the episode aired during a year when Easter fell in March, which is a terrible, horrible, no good thing.  I resent March Easters on so many levels.  For one, if Easter comes in March we’re left with an almost holiday-less April (save for April Fool’s Day), thereby rendering the entire month of April useless and boring.  Also, as someone with a late March birthday, I’ve had to endure a couple birthday-Easter combos and I am not a fan.  Every holiday and birthday should gets it due!  Easter I love you (my third favorite holiday!) but stick to April where you belong.  End of rant.

Anyhoo, after the leprechaun and bunny battle there’s a Jesus-related chalkboard gag AND an Easter egg couch gag in the opening credits.  This is full-tilt holiday theming and I was loving it!  After the credits we open on the Springfield town square in the throes of an Easter celebration. The women are strolling around in their lavish Easter bonnets (Marge’s hat features framed photos of the Simpson kids).  There’s a giant, melting chocolate bunny.  There’s even a lovely rendition of the song “Easter Parade” playing, and later an instrumental version of “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” courtesy of the Springfield Elementary band.  One of the best gags involves Moe slinking into a coin-operated booth for a “Peep Show” only to discover it’s just a bunch of candy Peeps lined up for display.

It’s the kind of holiday episode I live for, only everything sadly comes to a crashing halt after the band blows eggs out of their instruments, pelting the crowd and bringing the festivities to an end.  With that, the Easter theme disappears and the episode quickly goes off the rails.  The two storylines involve Lisa defending Bart, the accused prankster, and Mr. Burns being a superhero named Fruit Bat Man. Sigh. 

And because this is a late-in-life Simpsons episode, of course there must be a celebrity guest star.  In this case it’s a surprisingly classy one: Janet Reno, who presides as judge of the kid courtroom.  I really like Janet Reno but she can’t save this episode from suffocating under its own goofy premise.  It’s shame because the opening Easter scene was really charming, but it feels tacked on to an otherwise hodgepodge of an episode.  Plus, what law says we must always have both an A and a B story?!  I could have so done without the whole Mr. Burns-as-superhero silliness.

Easter Quotient: A 5 for the first 5 minutes; 1 thereafter

Own It, See It, Skip It?: Definitely watch the opening five minutes for a dose of Easter fun, then quickly shut off your TV.

THE 25 GREATEST TV MOMS, Part 1

In addition to my usual episode spotlights, in honor of Mother’s Day I created a list of my 25 Greatest TV Moms.  I am an obsessive, consummate list maker.  I am always making lists and have lists at the ready: my 100 Favorite Movies, 500 Favorite Songs (subdivided into Upbeat and Mellow categories), 100 Greatest Villains of All Time, and the list of lists goes on.  This 25 Greatest TV Moms list is a new creation and rather than do my usual alphabetization I actually ranked the characters (a painstaking process, I assure you).

Before you delve in, a disclaimer: this is NOT a list of the most motherly mothers, or best mothers, but rather my favorite TV mom characters.  Hence some of the moms in this list are actually rather monstrous (which is oftentimes their appeal).  A couple aren’t even technically mothers!  Also, there are some amazing TV characters who also happen to be moms that didn't make this list.  I love Lucy and Samantha Stevens too, but motherhood wasn't necessarily their most winning aspect-- but never fear, Lucy makes my Best TV Characters of All Time List and someone else from Bewitched may just make an appearance somewhere on this list...  That said, I strongly encourage debate, suggestions, and indignant outrage in the form of comments, so let your opinions fly.  And now, on to the list!

25. Cherry Cherry
Show: Popular

Delta Burke is best known for playing larger-than-life Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women, but if Suzanne was even wealthier, crazier, Texan, and had a daughter she’d be the even more outrageous Cherry Cherry.  Mother to the show’s best and most bizarre character, Mary Cherry, the aptly named Cherry made several appearances, whether she was insulting her daughter, marrying Erik Estrada, or temporarily teaching home-ec/transgender tolerance.

Episode to Watch: “Queen B.”  
Cherry Cherry makes her first appearance, coaching her daughter when she’s nominated for Prom Queen.

24. Norma Arnold
Show: The Wonder Years

Norma was the ultimate 60s stay-at-home wife and mother: caring, perky and just a little bit restless.  She eventually went back to college and got a career in addition to being the kind of sweet and sensitive mom every kid wants.  Bonus points for actress Alley Mills, who also portrayed lesbian mom Robin John on the aforementioned Popular!

Episode to Watch: “The Ties That Bind”  
When Jack is forced to be away for the holiday, Norma channels her feelings into making a lavish Thanksgiving dinner.

23. Edna Payne
Show: Martin

All of the best characters on Martin were the ones that Martin Lawrence played himself, including his own mother, Edna Payne.  She was frumpy, lumpy, gray-haired and yet still sported Lawrence’s mustache.  Mama Payne doted on her little boy but didn’t hide her dislike of his girlfriend Gina, offering up insults in her trademark high-pitched squeal.

Episode to Watch: “Feast or Famine”  
Mama Payne shows up at Gina’s door to help her prepare Thanksgiving dinner (and sings the “Pass the Peas” song!).

22. Martha Generic
Show: Bobby’s World

Bobby’s mom deserves a spot on this list for her unforgettable Midwestern accent alone!  She also had major mom style, sporting a blue jogging suit and bright orange-red hair.  In the course of the series she gave birth to twins in addition to playing mom to Bobby, Derek and Kelly and was clearly the glue that held the Generic (“it’s pronounced JEN-a-rick”) family together.

Episode to Watch: “I Want My Mommy”  
The Generics surprise Martha with a trip to an amusement park for Mother’s Day.

21. Sara Blank
Show: Strangers with Candy

Sarah Blank, played by the brilliant Deborah Rush, is the definitive wicked stepmother.  Racist, drunken Sara dotes on her biological son Derrick and does everything in her power to insult and drive away her adult stepdaughter Jerri. Also: she has a special relationship with Stew, the family’s meat delivery man.

Episode to Watch: “Dreams on the Rocks”  
Stepmom Sara develops a drinking problem just in time for Jerri’s stage debut.

20. Agnes Skinner
Show: The Simpsons

Originally I had Marge Simpson on this list but upon reflection I decided that Agnes, elderly mother to Principal Skinner, outmothers Marge.  Overbearing and controlling Agnes is a harridan with a memorably cantankerous voice.  She collects pictures of cakes—but she doesn’t eat them.  They’re too sweet for her taste.

Episode to Watch: “Last Exit to Springfield”  
Agnes only makes a cameo in this episode, but utters one of my all time favorite lines: “Seymour needs the toilet.  His bladder’s full.  Full of urine!”

19. Regina Newly
Show: Samantha Who?

Jean Smart brings life to every role she plays but her true standout is Regina Newly, from the short-lived and criminally overlooked Samantha Who?  When amnesiac daughter Samantha is first reintroduced to her mom Regina, she seems like a doting parent.  But slowly Regina’s pettiness and pecadillos are revealed and the true nature of their strained relationship emerges.  Jean Smart also gave voice to another great, non-traditional mom, the animated Pickles Oblong in The Oblongs.

Episode to Watch: “Pilot”  
Upon awakening from a coma and suffering amnesia, Samantha quickly learns not to trust her mother’s twisted version of their past.

18. Nanny 
Show: Muppet Babies

Okay, Nanny is not the biological mother of any of the Muppet Babies.  But her face is never seen, so above the shoulders she could look like Gonzo for all we know.  As kids, my sister and I debated a lot over what Nanny really looked like and what exactly was her relationship to the Muppet Babies.  Were they all orphans and she their adoptive mother, or was she just hired help?  Regardless, Nanny was the loving, slightly mysterious authority figure every baby needs.  And she was voiced by Barbara Billingsley, June Cleaver herself!

Episode to Watch: “My Muppet Valentine”  
Rolf is dismayed when it appears that Nanny made all of the Muppet Babies personalized cookies for Valentine’s Day cookie—except for him.

17. Clair Huxtable
Show: The Cosby Show

Clair Huxtable was a full-time mom to a big brood of kids of all ages—but she was also a successful lawyer and extremely stylish.  In the 80s Claire proved women could have it all and set the bar impossibly high.  Her more no-nonsense approach to parenting paired well with hubby Cliff’s goofier demeanor, but you never doubted the love between them.  A true class act. 

Episode to Watch: “Clair’s Liberation”  
Claire messes with her family after discovering that they are wary of her going through menopause.

16. Joyce Summers
Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

In a show teeming with vampires and demons, suburban mom Joyce would be easy to overlook.  But she kept daughter Buffy rooted to the real world and while she started out oblivious, eventually she clued in and joined the good fight, most memorably wielding a fire axe and uttering the line “No one lays a hand on my little girl.”  Joyce even has her own action figure, but the character was only truly appreciated once she was gone—Joyce’s death marked the show’s descent into real world darkness and the Buffyverse has always been a slightly sadder place without her.

Episode to Watch: “School Hard”  
Joyce comes to Buffy’s rescue with ax in hand during the worst parent-teacher night ever.

That wraps it up for now, but stayed tuned to see if your favorites will show up in the next installment of the 25 Greatest TV Moms!

KILL THE ALLIGATOR AND RUN

The Simpsons

Season 11 (2001)

Once upon a time, in my pre-teens and into my teens, I was a Simpsons mega-fan.  I watched the show in reruns A LOT and my Simpsons trivia knowledge was pretty impressive (I’m not bragging because most of that trivia has faded from my brain with old age).  As The Simpsons lumbers on into its 106,000th season, the quality of the show has sharply declined, if not disintegrated entirely in comparison with the early days.  The first ten seasons are golden, but Season 11, from which “Kill the Alligator and Run” comes, is sort of the tipping point.  Season 11 isn’t outright terrible but it’s not great either (and don’t you dare venture past it; the later seasons are just bad).

This episode has a pretty crazy storyline so I’ll try and keep my recap to a minimum.  A magazine quiz that predicts Homer’s early death causes him to go a bit crazy, resulting in a mandatory vacation to Florida with the family. When they arrive Spring Break is in full swing and Homer joins the revelers instead of resting up.  There is drinking, boobs pressed against car windows, and youth-obsessed MTV VJs.  Homer even encounters Kid Rock, which is a reminder that Kid Rock was popular enough at one point in our culture to merit a Simpsons guest appearance.  I lived through those “Kid Rock is a thing” days and even I have trouble believing it.

Neither a kid nor rock.  Discuss amongst yourselves.

Homer eventually kills a local alligator and the entire family is arrested.  This is where the story really goes off the rails.  The family escapes and take jobs in a diner, morphing into hillbillies.  They are then re-captured, work on a chain gang (yeah, Maggie too) and then forced to work as caterers.  The alligator shows up alive and the Simpsons are free once more.  Goofy doesn’t really begin to cover it, but I always did like the one-off character of Velma, the owner of the diner.  She’s like a sharp-tongued character from a 1940s movie who is oddly accepting of everything.

Velma likes your moxie.

Re-watching this episode for the first time in several years, I was struck by how many points of reference I’ve absorbed from The Simpsons.  This episode alone contains many phrases and jokes I utilize on a regular basis, such as referring to Florida as “America’s wang.”  While there are some very funny moments, there’s also a lot of “huh?” and “really?” moments as well.  Some poking around the internet revealed that “Kill the Alligator and Run” is pretty reviled among the show’s fans for its outlandish plot and other elements (*ahem* Kid Rock).

Spring Break Quotient: While you get a lot of Florida ambiance, the Spring Break portion of the episode doesn’t last long, earning it a 2.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Considering how many truly great, earlier episodes of The Simpsons exist you can probably skip this one in favor of something better.  However if you have some time to kill there are some bits here that are worth a chuckle.