TROPE TRACKER: GOTTA HAVE IT TOY

Watch as many holiday-themed TV episodes as I do and you’re bound to start noticing some recurring themes.  When I started to actually keep track and notate my holiday viewing, I created my trope tracker, identifying the shared plot points that crop up from show to show.  You could view these tropes as sheer laziness on the part of TV writers, but I’ve always found them rather comforting, lending a sense of continuity and familiarity to decades worth of TV programming.  Rather than just update the blog’s trademark trope tracker as I always do, this Christmas season I’ve decided to spotlight and more closely examine a few of the biggest Christmas TV tropes.

Definitely in the top 25 Christmas TV Tropes list is the “Gotta Have It Toy.”  This plot point is simple and well-trod (because duh = trope): a child desires the season’s hottest fictional toy, leading their parent/guardian/aunt/uncle/whoever to go to great lengths (usually at the last minute, on Christmas Eve) to acquire it.  This is a trope that springs from real life; in the recent past Cabbage Patch dolls and Tickle Me Elmos have inspired toy store stampedes and countless news stories both decrying and feeding into the idea of an annual must-have Christmas toy.

Perhaps the most infamous example of this type of holiday story is the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Jingle All the Way.  Jingle All the Way is by no means a good Christmas movie, but it’s not the worst way to spend 1 hour and 35 minutes this December, either.  The story is one improbable slapstick scenario after another, as Arnold attempts to get his hands on a Turbo Man action figure for his son (played by notoriously terrible child actor Jake Lloyd, of Anakin Skywalker fame).  At the time of its release the filmmakers were criticized for releasing a real-life Turbo Man tie-in toy, the sort of cheap commercialization that the movie was meant to be spoofing.

Over the year many TV shows have also embraced the Gotta Have It Toy storyline, some more successfully than others. I’m always especially interested in seeing what toy sitcom writers come up with to be the star of the season. In the short-lived Gene Wilder sitcom Something Wilder, it’s a “Mr. Monster” doll that’s in demand.  For Family Matters it’s a “Freddy Teddy”—apparently the most popular toys are also the most alliterative. 

Just Shoot Me! offered up “How the Finch Stole Christmas,” a fabulous episode with just about every tried and true Christmas storyline, including a battle over a “Sneezing Charlie” doll.  Mya wants one of the hard-to-get dolls for a poor child she mentors, but her rich dad has bought them all up for his equally rich clients.  Mya gets her revenge by rigging up a hidden microphone and convincing her dad the talking dolls are possessed and angered by his lack of Christmas spirit, leading him to hand them over to needy kids (except for one, which he has disassembled and buried in the desert).

In the Frasier episode “Frasier Grinch,” the titular Frasier Crane jumps through hoops on Christmas Eve to buy educational toys for his visiting son, only to learn at the last minute that what Frederick most desires is the season’s hottest item, the Outlaw Laser Robo Geek (which Frasier was snobbishly dismissive of earlier in the episode).  All seems lost until Frasier opens his own present from his prescient father, Martin, which is an Outlaw Laser Robo Geek for him to gift to Frederick.

“Moroccan Christmas,” a Season 5 episode of The Office, is not a particular favorite of mine, but it does put a nice O. Henry twist on the Gotta Have It Toy trope.  The episode’s B-story involves Dwight buying a stockpile of that year’s top toy and then re-selling it to desperate dads for outrageous prices at the office Christmas party.  The toy in question is “Princess Unicorn,” a Barbie-esque princess with an ungainly unicorn horn protruding from her forehead (and yes, this is one Gotta Have It Toy that I fully see the appeal of!). 

Sad-sack office worker Toby plans on buying one of the dolls from Dwight for his daughter, but by the time he tries Dwight has just sold his last one to warehouse worker Darryl.  In a slightly uncomfortable scene rife with genuine emotion, a desperate, despondent Toby begs Darryl to let him have the doll.  Darryl happily sells it (at an even greater mark-up, naturally), only for Toby to discover that the doll he purchased is the African-American version.  It’s a great moment in which Toby struggles to keep his disappointment from registering lest he offend Darryl, and another hollow victory for the very Charlie Brownish character of Toby.

As you can see, TV shows have long utilized the Gotta Have It Toy trope to provide fodder for their Christmas episodes.  As tropes go it’s generally a successful one, as who among us hasn’t at one point in our lives longed for that one special toy upon which an entire Christmas’ success rests?  For me it was the Mighty Max Skull Mountain playset, which I coveted more than anything one Christmas. I can still summon up that “all is well in the world” feeling expressed by Ralphie in A Christmas Story when he finally lays hands on his Red Ryder BB Gun, a mixture of relief and joy I too felt upon ripping off the wrapping paper of my very own Skull Mountain.

THE 20 GREATEST TV DADS, PART 1

I must admit I had a bit of a harder time composing my list of the 20 Greatest TV Dads than I did my list of TV Moms.  It may be because I favor female-centric shows where the dads tend to be absentee, but it's also because a lot of dads on TV are of the "lovable doofus" variety, which is not my favorite type of character.  Once you eliminate the Homer Simpsons and Al Bundys there's not a lot left to work with.  So instead of a Top 25 I came up with a Top 20.  And here's my standard disclaimer: this list is entirely subjective and prone to my own whims, but I always welcome suggestions and spirited debate in the form of comments!

And now on to the list!

20. Ted Crisp

Show: Better Off Ted

Better Off Ted was a short-lived and much beloved show, a satire of evil corporations that often veered into very zany territory.  The show’s protagonist was Ted Crisp, who wavered between being a model employee and an everyday guy with a conscience.  He was also a single dad, and while he sometimes made questionable decisions concerning his underlings at work, he always did right by his daughter.  In a show that specialized in poking merciless fun at its often hapless characters, Ted’s love for his daughter was never anything less than genuine.

Episode to Watch: “Through Rose-Colored HAZMAT Suits”

Ted brings his daughter to work for the day- but when you work for an evil conglomerate things can wrong quickly.

19. Kevin Burke

Show: Two of a Kind

I’ve written about my surprising love of Two of a Kind before, and a big part of that is my affection for single dad Kevin Burke.  A somewhat uptight college professor and widower raising his twin daughters, Kevin also clashed and flirted with free-spirited nanny Carrie.  A potentially boring role was made interesting by Christopher Sieber, a respected theater actor whose performance made Kevin a likeable and admirable TV dad.

Episode to Watch: “Nightmare on Carrie’s Street”

Kevin must track down his daughters after they sneak off to a forbidden Halloween party.

18. Guy Blank

Show: Strangers With Candy

Guy’s second wife Sara made my Top TV Mom’s list; she played the wicked stepmother to his loving father.  But the genius of Guy Blank is that he never spoke a word or moved a muscle—rather he was always seen frozen in place, an over-the-top expression of glee or fury plastered across his unmoving face. Guy’s immobility never phased his family, who all seemed to love and understand him. Guy was finally seen in motion during his last episode;  after his death he appears during the closing credits for a final waltz with daughter Jerri, a surprisingly tender moment for an otherwise deliciously bonkers show.

Episode to Watch: “The Goodbye Guy”

Guy meets his untimely end via a pack of wild dogs—leaving Jerri alone just in time for the annual Interschool Father-Student sack race. 

17. Frank Costanza

Show: Seinfeld

Frank is a nightmare of a dad: quick to anger, constantly yelling, petty and stingy to the extreme.  But it’s all of these qualities that make him so much fun to watch, whether he’s hashing it out with wife Estelle or making life miserable for his son George.  And with a dad like Frank, is it any wonder George turned out the way he did?  Jerry Stiller played a very similar role to Frank in King of Queens, but where Frank was lovably irascible Arthur was gratingly awful, demonstrating what a fine line this type of character has to tread.

Episode to Watch: “The Strike”

Frank revives his homemade alternative to Christmas—the infamous Festivus.

16. Greg Warner

Show: Yes, Dear

Yes, Dear was one of those seemingly bland sitcoms that chugged along for many seasons, but I was always a fan of its gentle humor and likeable cast.  As portrayed by sitcom veteran Anthony Clark, beleaguered dad Greg was the sensitive counterpart to his rough-around-the-edges brother-in-law.  Their different parenting styles clashed, but I was always partial to Greg’s somewhat neurotic but always loving methods. 

Episode to Watch: “Halloween”

Greg vows revenge after a neighbor scares his son while he’s trick-or-treating.

15. Charles Finster

Show: Rugrats

Charles Finster is yet another single dad (or at least he was until he eventually remarried, but I chose to ignore the later seasons of Rugrats).  He and son Chuckie look almost identical, with their thick glasses and wild red hair.  And perhaps due to Chaz’s overprotective parenting, Chuckie was something of a mess of neuroses.  At the end of the day though Chaz always did right by his son, whether teaching him about the evils of germs or dressing as Santa and getting stuck in the chimney while trying to prove that Santa Claus isn’t terrifying (he failed, but I appreciate the effort).

Episode to Watch: “Mr. Clean”

With the use of sock puppets, Chaz teaches Chuckie about cleanliness—and unintentionally turns him into a germaphobe.

14. Andy Taylor

Show: The Andy Griffith Show

Andy Taylor is such an iconic dad that there’s a statue of him and son Opie depicting their fabled fishing trip, as it appears in the opening credits of The Andy Griffith Show.  Andy was a widower raising young Opie alongside Aunt Bee, and despite a busy job as town sheriff he always had time for a folksy parable to solve Opie’s latest moral dilemma.  Andy was also a father figure of sorts to hapless deputy Barney Fife, earning him double dad points!

Episode to Watch: “Opie the Birdman”

In this tear-jerker classic, Andy counsels Opie, first when he adopts some orphaned baby birds and then later when it’s time to set them free.

13. Rob Petrie

Show: The Dick Van Dyke Show

Rob Petrie is perhaps remembered best for taking a tumble over an ottoman (night after night after night!) but he was also a great dad.  He dressed as a clown and performed at son Richie’s birthday party, but even better he always brought Richie home a present from the office—even if it was just a stick of gum, Richie was always delighted.  Who wouldn’t want Dick Van Dyke as their dad?!

Episode to Watch: “What’s in a Middle Name?”

Rob must explain to his son, via flashback, why his middle name is Rosebud.

12. Professor Utonium

Show: The Powerpuff Girls

Professor Utonium is one of many single dads on my list but he’s the only one to create his super-powered daughters via science.  A send-up of the white coat-clad, pipe-smoking, know-it-all scientists of retro science fiction films, the Professor makes for an unlikely but surprisingly great father.  After all, he makes parenting three super-powered preschoolers look easy and still has time for science experiments! 

Episode to Watch: “Mommy Fearest”

Professor Utonium falls in love with Ima Goodlady—but the girls suspect that there’s more to Ima than meets the eye.

11. Martin Crane

Show: Frasier

The character of Martin Crane was a TV retcon—when the character of Frasier was on Cheers he claimed his father was dead, but when the Frasier spin-off happened Martin was resurrected as part of the main cast.  Once the character of Martin was revealed it actually made sense that Frasier had hidden him away.  Martin was everything his cultured, effete sons were not: a former cop with a taste for beer and hideous furniture.  It’s these very differences between father and sons that made their relationship so special, for despite their vastly different styles there was never any doubt of Martin’s love and pride in his family. 

Episode to Watch: “Out With Dad”

In order to help Frasier woo a new love interest Martin pretends to be gay.  Complications naturally ensue.

Tune in tomorrow for the Top 10 Greatest TV Dads!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MRS. MOSKOWITZ

Frasier
Season 6 (1998)

Hanukkah episodes can be hard to find, and the few that are out there I don’t own yet on DVD, but I didn’t want the holiday to slip by without acknowledging it.  My compromise is reviewing this Christmas episode of Frasier, which hinges on a menorah and  a case of mistaken identity.

Frasier was one big comedy of manners but this episode displays some of the classic elements of the genre better than most: wordplay, mistaken identities, and hasty entrances and exits abound.  The episode begins in a department store when Roz stumbles upon Frasier as he’s in the midst of buying her a sweater fro Christmas.  He’s saved by a fellow shopper, the eponymous Helen Moskowitz, who pretends the sweater is for her daughter.  The delightfully pushy Mrs. Moskowitz then gets an indebted Frasier to agree to a blind date with her daughter.

Despite his apprehension Frasier ends up hitting it off with Faye (played by Amy Brennan, if there are Judging Amy fans still out there).  All is going well with their budding relationship until Faye and her mother, en route to the airport, stop by Frasier’s apartment on Christmas Eve.  Spotting a wreath on his mantle, Faye is surprised to learn that Frasier isn’t Jewish, as she and her mother presumed (while shopping he was also buying a menorah as a present for his half-Jewish son, hence the assumption).  To save her from her mother’s disapproval Frasier agrees to pretend to be Jewish—on Christmas Eve.

Everything that then happens naturally threatens to expose the truth.  Frasier’s brother and father have to be convinced to play along on the spot. Mrs. Moskowitz must be convinced that a cooking ham is really brisket.  A Christmas tree gets delivered and then stuffed into a bathroom.  It all leads to a disastrous conclusion, which involves Niles, dressed as Jesus for a Christmas pageant, being discovered in the bathroom with the aforementioned Christmas tree.

Jesus!

It’s laugh out funny, bolstered by guest performers Amy Brennan but especially Carole Shelley as Helen.  She’s a character and voice actress of the highest order (she played one half of the Cuckoo Pigeon sisters in the original Odd Couple movie).  The whole episode (and indeed the entire run of the show) harkens back to the great screwball comedies of the 40s.  Obviously because of the nature of the plot the scenery can’t be fully decked out with holiday décor; the one tree we get to see is extremely cheap and shoddy looking, which is weird since it’s supposed to be a designer tree Frasier specially ordered.  But as a Christmas episode this satisfies and offers up an original, hilarious story and admirable performances.

Christmas Quotient: Despite all of my praise I’m prevented from giving this a 5 just because it’s a bit shy on Christmas visuals, but it still ranks a solid 4.

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Worth owning for repeat Christmas viewings, and it even kinda sorta works as a Hanukkah episode!