DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

Family Matters

Season 6 (1998)

Family Matters is one of those shows that I normally find too stupid-silly to sit through, but the schmaltz factor pays off in several really excellent Christmas episodes.  The Halloween episodes unfortunately aren’t quite as good. 

The first scene of this Season 6 offering is excellent: the house is insanely decked out for Halloween and one by one the family members reveal their costumes.  Laura is dressed as Batman Returns-era Catwoman, forever rooting this in the 90s (in the best way possible).  When a thunderstorm and blackout instantly erupts the family’s trick-or-treating and party plans are scuttled.  Instead they (and Urkel, of course) play a game of “pass the ghost,” passing a flashlight around as they each tell part of “scary” story.

Unfortunately the story then takes up the rest of the episode.  It recasts the family as medieval vampires and Urkel as their unwitting houseguests/slayer.  It’s a lot of sight gags and distractingly cheap props: a vase falls on the ground with a tremendous breaking glass sound only to roll away, completely intact. The vampire story doesn’t even take place at Halloween so there’s nary a pumpkin in sight (but there is, for some reason, a bowl or oranges and a tray of croissants laid out on the banquet table).

The episode’s scariest moment is when Urkel discovers a chained-up Laura who says she’s completely helpless and he leers at the camera, creepily repeating “Completely helpless!”  Nothing says Halloween like implied rape.  Weirdly, the only picture I could find of this episode online is of Laura in chains.  Ick.

She is wise to fear the Urkel.

Let’s move past this episode quickly and hold out for the better “Dog Day Afternoon.”

Recurring Themes: The grandmother wears a Rag Doll Costume (what is it with TV writers and rag doll costumes?!). Plus we get a Dark & Stormy Blackout.

Halloween Quotient: A 3 for the first scene and a 1 for the rest of the episode.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Due to the disappointing lack of actual Halloweeness, this is an easy skip.  Unless you’re really into overly long, goofy swordplay sequences, in which case this is the episode for you!