THE 10 GREATEST QUEER TV CHARACTERS

I have to admit, I am not the biggest fan of Gay Pride Month.  I like the idea of Gay Pride Month, as an effort to broaden representation of the gay community in the ongoing fight against homophobia.  What bothers me is the gap between what Pride is meant to represent and what it actually is, namely an excuse to drink and hold oftentimes over-sexualized parades and events.  In a lot of ways rather than represent the struggle for gay rights Gay Pride Month ends up showcasing a lot of the things that frustrate me about (primarily male) gay culture: the immature partying and the emphasis on sex and appearance.  

But, as I said, I’m not a total curmudgeon; I think Pride serves its purpose and that purpose is ultimately noble.  And a celebration doesn’t have to come in the form of techno music and booze.  A celebration of gay pride can be as simple as a list of the greatest queer TV characters, which I’ve assembled just for the occasion.

As with all of my lists I’m sure some of my choices, or even more so my omissions, will prove controversial.  Just because a character is well very known doesn’t mean they make the cut.  I make my decisions based on my own wildly subjective criteria—and I often prefer lesser known characters and shows exactly because they don’t get as much credit or attention.  So go ahead and start writing your indignant comments  of “Glee!” and “Modern Family!” now.

Okay, here goes!

10. Nancy Bartlett Thomas

Show: Roseanne

Sandra Bernhard is a comedy goddess and a gay icon, but a lot of people may forget that she played the character of Nancy throughout Roseanne’s long run.  Nancy was always flighty and self-involved, but she wasn’t always a lesbian-- she was married for a while to the obnoxious Arnie.  Luckily Arnie was abducted by aliens (really!) and Nancy came out, eventually even dating another character played by Morgan Fairchild.  Nancy was always true to herself and always fun to watch.

Episode to Watch: “Ladies’ Choice”

Nancy comes out to Roseanne and Jackie, much to their initial disbelief.

9. Bob & Ray

Show: Seinfeld

Bob and Ray were minor recurring characters on Seinfeld, but extremely memorable ones.  As a couple they terrorized the regular cast members in three different episodes with their “street tough” demeanor—the joke being that they were actually just totally normal guys who intimidated everyone with their confrontational ways.  Whether chasing down Kramer for not wearing an AIDS ribbon or stealing furniture, it was always fun seeing two tough gay guys calling the shots!

Episode to Watch: “The Soup Nazi”

Bob and Ray steal Elaine's armoire from a helpless Kramer.

8. Captain Jack Harkness

Show: Doctor Who & Torchwood

Jack Harkness brought an Erroll Flynnish air of the swashbuckling rogue to Doctor Who (and eventually headlining spin-off show Torchwood).  He made for an admirable companion to the good Doctor and remained just rougish enough as to remain entirely lovable.  His ominisexuality and penchant for flirting with men, women, aliens and robots made sense for a man from the far-flung future, where sexuality is a lot more fluid and acceptance more widespread. The heroic Jack defies boundaries and stereotypes, and provided us with a much-needed queer science fiction icon.

Episode to Watch: “Captain Jack Harkness”

Jack travels back in time to the 40s to meet the man who’s identity he stole—but romantic complications and heartbreak are in store for both of them.

7. Leon Carp

Show: Roseanne

Leon served as Roseanne’s boss, nemesis, sparring partner and eventual friend up to the very last episode of the show.  His character evolved but he never lost his edge, always prone to a cutting remark.  His coming out was handled a bit more subtly than some of the show’s other outings, as his character had already been around for a while and he only casually mentioned the fact that he was gay during a poker game with Dan and his friends.  Eventually we met Leon’s partner, saw them get married and plan to adopt a kid.  A smart and always funny character, played brilliantly by Martin Mull.

Episode to Watch: “Why Jackie Becomes a Trucker”

Leon casually comes out during a poker game, taking Dan and the viewing audience by surprise.

6. Jerri Blank

Show: Strangers with Candy

Amy Sedaris can inhabit a character so totally it’s easy to forget that they aren’t one and the same.  Certainly I will forever think of her as Jerri Blank, the monstrously selfish former drug addict and dropout giving high school a second chance at the ripe age of 46.  Jerri was no role model, but the frank portrayal of her bisexuality was refreshing amid the character’s more craven characteristics.  She lusted after men, she lusted after women, she just plain lusted!  

Episode to Watch: “Feather in the Storm”

Jerri develops an eating disorder in order to join the debate team.  It’s way more hilarious than it sounds…

5. Ben Sutherland

Show: The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Ben appeared in just one episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, but it happens to be one of the show’s best.  Introduced as Phyllis’ visiting brother, Phyllis is horrified when instead of falling for Mary (as she intended), Ben and Rhoda hit it off.  At one of Mary’s infamously bad parties Phyllis goes off the deep end, expecting Ben and Rhoda to announce their engagement—only for Rhoda to reveal that Ben is gay.  It’s a truly remarkable moment given the time period, especially in the offhand and funny way that it's handled.  Even better is Phyllis’ relief at the revelation; she doesn’t care if Ben is gay, only that he doesn’t date Rhoda!  And really, what self-respecting gay man doesn’t love Rhoda?

Episode to Watch: “My Brother’s Keeper”

Ben makes his first and regrettably only appearance in this fantastic and funny episode.

4. Willow Rosenberg & Tara Maclay

Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You may consider it a cheat to count two characters as one, but Willow and Tara work so well as a couple, and their relationship is so iconic.  Willow of course didn’t start out as gay but was always a great character; however her relationship with Tara made her that much better.  Tara was always an underrated character and one of my particular favorites.  Their relationship was ill-fated but while it lasted it was pure magic (couldn’t resist) and was a groundbreakingly earnest depiction of same-sex love and the development of sexual identity.

Episode to Watch: “Once More, With Feeling”

In this musical episode Tara starts out serenading Willow but ends up leaving her after uncovering her magical betrayal.  

3. Ellen Morgan

Show: Ellen

Are you shocked that Ellen isn’t Number One?  We certainly all owe Ellen Degeneres a huge debt for coming out, both in real life, and in character as Ellen Morgan.  I love both the closeted and out versions of the character, who is neurotic, kind to a fault, and prone to babbling.  Plus she owns an independent bookstore, one of the coolest jobs ever.  True, the quality and humor of Ellen the show suffered a bit post-coming out, but Ellen the character always remained entirely lovable.

Episode to Watch: “Lobster Diary”

Ellen rescues a live lobster from a local seafood restaurant, but then must hide the lobster’s death from the media and guest star Mary Tyler Moore!

2. Thomas Barrow

Show: Downton Abbey

Downton Abbey is highbrow, soapy escapism at its finest.  It may be prone to some over-the-top moments but the show’s characters are nuanced and artfully written, none better than Thomas Barrow.  The villainous, grasping Thomas is ambitious to a fault, but when his sexuality was revealed in the very first episode of the show, Thomas’ bad behavior suddenly made a lot more sense.  Living as a closeted man in 1912 can’t have been easy, and Thomas is as much victim as villain—though whatever his role he always looks positively dashing!

Episode to Watch: “Episode One”

Thomas is first introduced, as is his secret affair with a visiting Duke.

1. Rickie Vasquez

Show: My So-Called Life

My entire family watched My So-Called Life together when its first and only season aired.  We all related to different characters back then, whether it was the beleaguered parents, the rebellious Angela, or in my case the ignored younger sister.  I was only ten when the show first aired so it wouldn’t be for many years that I started identifying with gay teen Rickie more than the twerpy tween sister.  But even at the tender age of 10 Rickie made a powerful impression upon me.  He was different and daring from any other character I’d ever seen on TV: slightly effeminate, stylish, sweet and caring but damaged and sad all at the time.  But the most subversive thing was how he hung out with his female friends in the girls bathroom at school, a small act of defiance that seemed wildly daring—and something I would totally have done myself if I had been braver at that age. The character of Rickie, as well as the actor who portrayed him, Wilson Cruz (who like Rickie eventually also came out), would serve as a role model for a lot of people over the years.  He was a fully realized, realistic, gay teen character who embodied both strength and extreme vulnerability.  He was also a person of color and poor, character traits rarely seen in connection with the affluent, white-washed gay characters regularly still seen on TV. 

Episode to Watch: “So-Called Angels”

In one of the most depressing (yet powerful) Christmas episodes you’ll ever watch, Rickie finds himself homeless for the holidays.

To conclude, I present you with a couple of dishonorable mentions in the form of “Come Out of the Closet, Already!” Awards.  These are for three characters whom I really like but frustratingly were never explicitly outed, despite their wildly queer ways. 

Michele Gerard from Gilmore Girls

Michele was super snarky and SUPER gay but weirdly the character was written as straight—and then later sort of asexual.  He would have been that much better if he’d actually been allowed to come out and have a love life, a big missed opportunity.

Squidward Tentacles from SpongeBob Squarepants

Fox News at one point thought SpongeBob might have been gay but c’mon—with his fussy ways and bachelor lifestyle Squidward is totally the bitchy, elder gay octopus I hope to one day become.

Andrew Wells from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Andrew, a villain turned hero, is still “alive” in the pages of the ongoing Buffy comics.  However he STILL isn’t out, despite constant hints and jokes about his sexuality.  Joss Whedon, a big friend to the queer community, has said he thinks Andrew’s cluelessness is funny but I find it wearisome that he isn’t allowed to evolve and find love and full happiness. Hell, even Tom Lenk, the actor who played Andrew, came out years ago!  

CHEESEBURGERS IN PARADISE

Salute Your Shorts

Season 1 (1991)

When I think of summer camp, I immediately think of Salute Your Shorts.  While re-watching just the first scene of “Cheeseburgers in Paradise” I was immediately struck by how my childhood favorite, Salute Your Shorts, and Orange Is the New Black, one of my current TV favorites, are exactly the same show.  The opening scene of this episode has the red-haired bully Budnick dealing contraband food disguised as everyday objects.  Orange Is the New Black has the character of Red, who deals in contraband food.  Counselor Ug is just like the prison guard Pornstache.  Both shows deal with confinement, rule-breaking, bullies, bad cafeteria food—this episode of Salute Your Shorts even has a prison break of sorts!  The list of similarities is endless..

First, a programming note: the version of this episode that I have, purchased from iTunes (also on Amazon), is titled "Cheeseburgers in Paradise."  However online it's widely called "Donkeylips and Sponge Weigh In."  I can't verify which once is the correct title, but both work well enough.

Now, a warning: watching this particular episode of Salute Your Shorts will make you hungry.  It’s all about food: good food, bad food, and the repercussions of food on all of our lives.  In this episode campers Sponge and Donkeylips are both trying to enter a wrestling competition, the winner of which gets a lobster dinner at a fancy restaurant (because kids go crazy for lobster!).  Sponge is underweight and Donkeylips overweight, so resident jock Telly serves as their trainer, having them respectively bulk up on bananas and run laps.  As a kid I was the size of wispy Sponge—sadly as an adult I find myself relating to Donkeylips.  Times sure have changed-- I’m going to the gym when I finish writing this post!

Meanwhile the other campers, disgusted by the camp’s “Bratwurst Surprise,” are plotting to order food from a local hamburger joint.  Budnick eventually forces Sponge and Donkeylips to go and buy the contraband food, with Ug hot on their trail.  Despite a series of mishaps they managed to smuggle the food into camp and everyone devours it before Ug discovers them.  However when it comes time for their final weigh-in, both boys have the food wrappers stuffed under their clothes and they can’t shed the extra weight without busting everyone.  Don’t worry; it has a happy ending, as they both manage to meet their weight goals even with the burger wrappers stuffed down their sweatshirts.

This episode is surprisingly poignant, as both Sponge and Donkeylips bond over being bullied about their size.  The friendship that grows between them is really sweet and genuine, especially for Donkeylips, who only wants to win a wrestling trophy to impress his neglectful parents.  Even Ug, normally the antagonist, is rather nice and supportive in this episode, as he’s rooting for the boys to make their goals.

And then there’s the food!  Sponge and Donkeylips sneak off to a place that’s called “The Tummy Pleaser.”  For such a small place in the middle of the woods, it has an impressively large menu: burgers, tuna salad, pies, tacos, tamales, and frozen yogurt are all seen or advertised.  The scene in which the kids wolf down their burgers will have you hearing the siren song of McDonald’s.  Even better, the music that plays during the eating montage is the same music heard in beloved TV special The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t!  One scene has kids eating hamburgers and the other a witch flying across the night sky, but the score is one and the same.  This type of TV synergy is what I live for!

Apparently I'm not the only one with fond memories of this episode, because someone created this awesome fan art of Donkeylips carting Sponge to The Tummy Pleaser in a wheelbarrow:

Camp Activities: Wrestling, Running the Mile, Eating

Camp Quotient: It’s pretty darn campy, earning a 4.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

I think I’ve effectively established that Salute Your Shorts is awesome.  Sadly only about half of the series is available for purchase via download. We need a full DVD release!

CAMP FEAR

Daria

Season 5 (2001)

I suppose I would be remiss in writing about on-screen summer camps without briefly acknowledging my own summer camp experience (or lack thereof).  While my sister and I went to some summer day camps as kids, it wasn’t until the sixth grade that I actually went, along with the rest of my class, to an overnight camp for a week.  But it wasn’t in the summer; it was early spring and rather gray and drizzly, as the camp was near the California coast town of Bodega Bay (where Hitchcock filmed The Birds).  

Camp Caritas Creek was a Christian environmentalist camp because that’s the sort of camp they send you to when you go to Catholic school.  We did things like solo hikes to commune with God (the solo night hike was particularly terrifying) and put on skits about the evils of Styrofoam containers. I took a paper-making class and my bunk was terrorized by our counselor, who would take off his belt as if to whip us with it (but when one enterprising bunk-mate snapped a photo of him waving his belt around he brought us candy in exchange for our silence).  

I was not a fan of camp; I was semi-homesick but mostly I hated any activity that segregated the boys from the girls, thereby cutting me off from my entire social world.  I did manage to join all three camp clubs, qualifying by kissing a banana slug (the massive creatures were native to the camp), dunking my head in a freezing-cold stream (The Polar Bear Club) and slipping in some mud (I think it was called the Wipeout Club).   Camp was something I endured as opposed to enjoyed, so I could really relate to Season 5 episode of Daria.

Since my friend Jackie recently asked if everything on the blog would include Roseanne and Daria, naturally I decided to start off with a camp-themed episode of Daria!  In “Camp Fear” Daria and her sister Quinn receive invitations to a Camp Grizzly reunion.  Naturally Quinn is all about it, as she was popular and enjoyed camp (a good gag in this episoe is that Quinn’s old camp friends are perfect mirrors of her Fashion Club cronies).  Daria is less enthused but is given the choice of returning to camp or cleaning out the garage.  The sisters are driven to Camp Grizzly by siblings Jane and Trent, who are looking to explore the surrounding area and, on Trent’s part, do some soul-searching.

Once arriving at Camp Grizzly Daria and Quinn quickly fall into old patterns. Quinn spends time with her passive-aggressive mean girls clique and Daria tries to avoid Amelia, a former fellow camper who follows her around like a lost puppy.  To Daria’s credit Amelia is SUPER annoying, endlessly repeating everything Daria says and does.  When Daria finally gets fed up and tells Amelia off, Amelia ends up making a speech denouncing the camp and it’s maniacally-enthused leader, Skip.  All of the campers join in Amelia’s rebellion and Daria’s position as camp weirdo is somewhat reevaluated, as Amelia credits her as her inspiration in reforming Camp Grizzly.

The flashback scenes of young Quinn and Daria at camp are great fun, as the sisters remain true to form even as kids.  Skip’s rabid enthusiasm for all-things camp is a familiar TV trope but we’ve all probably known Skips in our lives—the guys or gals who really loved pep rallies and rooting on the home team while all I want to do is go be by myself and read a book (Young Daria brings Animal Farm with her to camp—good choice!).  The episode is bogged down by Jane and Trent’s weird side trip to a country general store, where they end up taste-testing flavorless potato chips made by a kindly-yet-idiotic couple.  It’s as weird and pointless as it sounds. 

Camp Activities: Arts & Crafts (Keychain-Making), Color Wars, Hiking, Horseback Riding, The Watermelon Game (Diving into a Lake to Capture a Greased-Up Watermelon), End of Summer Bonfire

Camp Quotient: Camp Grizzly really packs a lot of summer activities into one episode, even if they are more referenced than seen, earning this episode a 3.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

“Camp Fear” isn’t one of Daria’s strongest efforts, especially due to the silly Jane and Trent subplot.  It pains me to say it, but you can probably skip this one.

THE 20 GREATEST TV DADS, PART 2

Welcome back to Part 2 of my Greatest TV Dads countdown!  We’re up to the Top 10 and it’s an eclectic mix from TV shows old and new.  Here we go!

10. Howard Borden

Show: The Bob Newhart Show

After he played the goofy neighbor on I Dream of Jeannie Bill Daily went on to play the even goofier next door neighbor on The Bob Newhart Show.  While most might remember Howard as a dim-witted navigator, he was also a stellar single dad.  Despite being a little slow, Howard was always genuinely concerned with his son Howie’s welfare, seeking child-rearing advice from his neighbors and dealing with the sometimes painful repercussions of divorce and co-parenting.  He was  a man ahead of his time, and not nearly as dumb as people thought him.

Episode to Watch: “Sorry, Wrong Mother”

Howard’s new girlfriend tries to win his son Howie’s affection, but Howard himself interferes.

9. Jake Morgendorffer

Show: Daria

Jake Morgendorffer was a man of contradictions: ex-hippie, corporate drone, sensitive and yet full of rage.  Quick to anger and quick to cry, Jake often played up his haplessness by simply drifting off to sleep in mid-argument with his wife and daughters.  And while the women definitely ruled the roost, Jake strived hard to provide his daughters with the kind of receptive, affectionate parenting that he was denied by his strict, emotionless father.  Despite his myriad faults Jake was a good guy and a great dad.

Episode to Watch: “Monster”

Jake falls into a funk when he repeatedly watches a home movie of himself as a child falling off a bicycle and not being ignored by his father.

8. Jack Arnold

Show: The Wonder Years

Jack Arnold was the archetypal dad, or maybe it just seems that way to me because he reminds me so much of my own father.  Hard-working and a bit gruff, Jack isn’t super forthcoming with conversation or his emotions.  He made sacrifices for his family and though he sometimes disapproved of their actions, he always welcomed them back into the fold.  He truly loved his wife and provided for his family, a man of his times and a dad we would all be lucky to have.

Episode to Watch: “The House That Jack Built”

Tempers flare when the family visits daughter Karen at her new house and meet her new boyfriend.

7. Dan Conner

Show: Roseanne

Dan is the fun dad, the kind of dad who will wrestle with you, clown around and order pizza for dinner when Roseanne was out of the house.  He slaved away at menial jobs just to make ends meet but he also remained a big kid and the good cop to Roseanne’s more strict bad cop role.  When he need to, though, Dan could become rather fearsome, such as when he was defending his sister-in-law from an abusive boyfriend. What a lovable lug!

Episode to Watch: “Like A New Job”

With Roseanne busy at her new waitressing job, Dan takes over parenting, with mixed results (it involves clothes being thrown onto the front lawn).

6. Burt Hummel

Show: Glee

I almost resent how the character of Burt Hummel was written, because he’s so engineered for maximum likeability.  He’s the salt of the earth type, a blue collar man’s man and yet a big softy underneath.  His gradual acceptance of his teenage son’s coming out remains some of Glee’s most poignant moments.  And for added fatherhood points, actor Mike O'Malley also played another admirable TV dad on Yes, Dear!

Episode to Watch: “Preggers”

Kurt comes out to his dad and joins the football team—all this plus a performance of “Single Ladies.”

5. Luke Danes

Show: Gilmore Girls

Luke Danes is a father three times over: surrogate dad to Rory, uncle to errant nephew Jess, and eventually a biological dad to his own long-lost daughter.  He fulfilled all three roles admirably, encouraging Rory in everything she did and bemoaning her poor eating habits, exercising tough love with Jess and standing by April even when her own mother tried to keep him out of the picture.  Luke is a stand-up guy—and he can cook, making him the complete package.

Episode to Watch: “A Family Matter”

Luke must deal with both his flaky sister Liz and the reappearance of Jess—and admits to stealing Jess’ car.

4. Cliff Huxtable

Show: The Cosby Show

I have to admit that despite growing up watching The Cosby Show I’m not the show’s biggest fan.  However there is no denying that when you think of “TV Dad” Cliff Huxtable immediately springs to mind.  With his wry sense of humor and ability to bond with kids of all ages, Cliff was an accomplished professional (an OBGYN, appropriately enough) but also the ultimate sage at home, dispensing advice in all situations to his many kids.

Episode to Watch: “Father’s Day”

The Cosby kids band together to provide a special Father’s Day for Cliff—six months early.

3. Rupert Giles

Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Giles is the only non-biological dad on my list (unless you count Professor Utonium, but that’s kind of a gray area).  But Giles proves that biology does not an excellent father make, as he mentored and cared for not only Buffy but the entire Scooby Gang.  Wise, stuffy, and always brave in the defense of his “kids,” Giles cemented the sense of surrogate family that was such a strong theme throughout Buffy’s run.

Episode to Watch: “Band Candy”

Giles reverts to his teenage self, showing Buffy and the Scooby Gang a decidedly different version of their mentor.

2. Louie C.K.

Show: Louie

Louie is one of those characters who always seems to say and do exactly the wrong thing, blundering his way from one awkward situation to the next.  But one of his redeeming qualities is his love for his two young daughters.  He often admits truths that other parents would hesitate to voice out loud, but whether he’s letting his daughter dress up as Frederick Douglas for Halloween or trying desperately to repair a broken doll, fatherhood is one area of his life where he’s able to rise above his own foibles and do something right.

Episode to Watch: “Lily Changes”

Louie goes crazy when he discovers that his daughter Lily is missing, leading him on a mad dash to find her.

1. Michael Bluth

Show: Arrested Development

The whole premise of Arrested Development lies in its wildly self-involved characters, a family who is quick to turn on one another for their own self-interests.  In the midst of this familial insanity Michael, however reluctantly, was the rock that his entire family relied on, including his own father.  Above all Michael strived to be a good dad to his son George Michael, instilling in him the same “family first” values that he practiced.  Once could argue that the most recent season of Arrested Development messed somewhat with Michael’s character (the season does end with George Michael punching his dad in the face, after all) but in my estimation Michael will always be the ultimate dad.

Episode to Watch: “Pilot”

Michael decides to finally turn his back on his family after one betrayal too many, but he finds himself invariably drawn back to the fold.

That’s all folks!  Don’t forget to show your dad (or Watcher or surrogate dad or dad-like loved one) some love this Father’s Day!

THE 20 GREATEST TV DADS, PART 1

I must admit I had a bit of a harder time composing my list of the 20 Greatest TV Dads than I did my list of TV Moms.  It may be because I favor female-centric shows where the dads tend to be absentee, but it's also because a lot of dads on TV are of the "lovable doofus" variety, which is not my favorite type of character.  Once you eliminate the Homer Simpsons and Al Bundys there's not a lot left to work with.  So instead of a Top 25 I came up with a Top 20.  And here's my standard disclaimer: this list is entirely subjective and prone to my own whims, but I always welcome suggestions and spirited debate in the form of comments!

And now on to the list!

20. Ted Crisp

Show: Better Off Ted

Better Off Ted was a short-lived and much beloved show, a satire of evil corporations that often veered into very zany territory.  The show’s protagonist was Ted Crisp, who wavered between being a model employee and an everyday guy with a conscience.  He was also a single dad, and while he sometimes made questionable decisions concerning his underlings at work, he always did right by his daughter.  In a show that specialized in poking merciless fun at its often hapless characters, Ted’s love for his daughter was never anything less than genuine.

Episode to Watch: “Through Rose-Colored HAZMAT Suits”

Ted brings his daughter to work for the day- but when you work for an evil conglomerate things can wrong quickly.

19. Kevin Burke

Show: Two of a Kind

I’ve written about my surprising love of Two of a Kind before, and a big part of that is my affection for single dad Kevin Burke.  A somewhat uptight college professor and widower raising his twin daughters, Kevin also clashed and flirted with free-spirited nanny Carrie.  A potentially boring role was made interesting by Christopher Sieber, a respected theater actor whose performance made Kevin a likeable and admirable TV dad.

Episode to Watch: “Nightmare on Carrie’s Street”

Kevin must track down his daughters after they sneak off to a forbidden Halloween party.

18. Guy Blank

Show: Strangers With Candy

Guy’s second wife Sara made my Top TV Mom’s list; she played the wicked stepmother to his loving father.  But the genius of Guy Blank is that he never spoke a word or moved a muscle—rather he was always seen frozen in place, an over-the-top expression of glee or fury plastered across his unmoving face. Guy’s immobility never phased his family, who all seemed to love and understand him. Guy was finally seen in motion during his last episode;  after his death he appears during the closing credits for a final waltz with daughter Jerri, a surprisingly tender moment for an otherwise deliciously bonkers show.

Episode to Watch: “The Goodbye Guy”

Guy meets his untimely end via a pack of wild dogs—leaving Jerri alone just in time for the annual Interschool Father-Student sack race. 

17. Frank Costanza

Show: Seinfeld

Frank is a nightmare of a dad: quick to anger, constantly yelling, petty and stingy to the extreme.  But it’s all of these qualities that make him so much fun to watch, whether he’s hashing it out with wife Estelle or making life miserable for his son George.  And with a dad like Frank, is it any wonder George turned out the way he did?  Jerry Stiller played a very similar role to Frank in King of Queens, but where Frank was lovably irascible Arthur was gratingly awful, demonstrating what a fine line this type of character has to tread.

Episode to Watch: “The Strike”

Frank revives his homemade alternative to Christmas—the infamous Festivus.

16. Greg Warner

Show: Yes, Dear

Yes, Dear was one of those seemingly bland sitcoms that chugged along for many seasons, but I was always a fan of its gentle humor and likeable cast.  As portrayed by sitcom veteran Anthony Clark, beleaguered dad Greg was the sensitive counterpart to his rough-around-the-edges brother-in-law.  Their different parenting styles clashed, but I was always partial to Greg’s somewhat neurotic but always loving methods. 

Episode to Watch: “Halloween”

Greg vows revenge after a neighbor scares his son while he’s trick-or-treating.

15. Charles Finster

Show: Rugrats

Charles Finster is yet another single dad (or at least he was until he eventually remarried, but I chose to ignore the later seasons of Rugrats).  He and son Chuckie look almost identical, with their thick glasses and wild red hair.  And perhaps due to Chaz’s overprotective parenting, Chuckie was something of a mess of neuroses.  At the end of the day though Chaz always did right by his son, whether teaching him about the evils of germs or dressing as Santa and getting stuck in the chimney while trying to prove that Santa Claus isn’t terrifying (he failed, but I appreciate the effort).

Episode to Watch: “Mr. Clean”

With the use of sock puppets, Chaz teaches Chuckie about cleanliness—and unintentionally turns him into a germaphobe.

14. Andy Taylor

Show: The Andy Griffith Show

Andy Taylor is such an iconic dad that there’s a statue of him and son Opie depicting their fabled fishing trip, as it appears in the opening credits of The Andy Griffith Show.  Andy was a widower raising young Opie alongside Aunt Bee, and despite a busy job as town sheriff he always had time for a folksy parable to solve Opie’s latest moral dilemma.  Andy was also a father figure of sorts to hapless deputy Barney Fife, earning him double dad points!

Episode to Watch: “Opie the Birdman”

In this tear-jerker classic, Andy counsels Opie, first when he adopts some orphaned baby birds and then later when it’s time to set them free.

13. Rob Petrie

Show: The Dick Van Dyke Show

Rob Petrie is perhaps remembered best for taking a tumble over an ottoman (night after night after night!) but he was also a great dad.  He dressed as a clown and performed at son Richie’s birthday party, but even better he always brought Richie home a present from the office—even if it was just a stick of gum, Richie was always delighted.  Who wouldn’t want Dick Van Dyke as their dad?!

Episode to Watch: “What’s in a Middle Name?”

Rob must explain to his son, via flashback, why his middle name is Rosebud.

12. Professor Utonium

Show: The Powerpuff Girls

Professor Utonium is one of many single dads on my list but he’s the only one to create his super-powered daughters via science.  A send-up of the white coat-clad, pipe-smoking, know-it-all scientists of retro science fiction films, the Professor makes for an unlikely but surprisingly great father.  After all, he makes parenting three super-powered preschoolers look easy and still has time for science experiments! 

Episode to Watch: “Mommy Fearest”

Professor Utonium falls in love with Ima Goodlady—but the girls suspect that there’s more to Ima than meets the eye.

11. Martin Crane

Show: Frasier

The character of Martin Crane was a TV retcon—when the character of Frasier was on Cheers he claimed his father was dead, but when the Frasier spin-off happened Martin was resurrected as part of the main cast.  Once the character of Martin was revealed it actually made sense that Frasier had hidden him away.  Martin was everything his cultured, effete sons were not: a former cop with a taste for beer and hideous furniture.  It’s these very differences between father and sons that made their relationship so special, for despite their vastly different styles there was never any doubt of Martin’s love and pride in his family. 

Episode to Watch: “Out With Dad”

In order to help Frasier woo a new love interest Martin pretends to be gay.  Complications naturally ensue.

Tune in tomorrow for the Top 10 Greatest TV Dads!

THOSE LAZY-HAZY-CRAZY DAYS

Gilmore Girls

Season 3 (2002)

Yes, this is technically an end of summer episode.  Lorelai even makes reference to the fact that it’s (presumably early) September.  Still, when I thought of which episode to watch to kick off the summer season this was the first that sprang to mind.  In re-watching it for the blog I realized it’s not quite as summery as I remembered, but it’s great fun regardless, a slice of Gilmore Girls from its prime.

This is the first episode of the third season, so there’s a sense of fallout and new beginnings throughout.  Lorelai is estranged from Luke after a Season 2 fight (the episode begins with a memorable dream sequence in which they’re married and expecting twins).  Rory is coming home after an internship in Washington alongside Paris.  And Lorelai has to explain to her parents that her would-be relationship with baby-daddy Christopher is, once again, kaput.  

Emily Al Fresco

The dinner scene between Lorelai and her parents is a highlight.  To reinforce the summer feel, they dine on the patio for a change, and Emily is hilariously (and justifiably) offended when Lorelai mocks their gift of scone mix, bought during their trip to Martha’s Vineyard.  Things go south quickly as Lorelai breaks the news about her breakup, and it ends with her slipping away while Richard and Emily argue with one another.

Another cute scene is Lorelai and Rory’s reunion at the airport, where souvenirs once again play a role (a bored Lorelai buys out the airport gift shop, including, weirdly, a baguette).  They then head to the End of Summer Madness Festival, town patriarch Taylor’s latest invention.  Anyone with a soul would want to attend a Star’s Hollow festival, and this one is no exception.  It looks wildly fun and is brimming with small-town charm, including a barbershop group that sings “Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer” on a loop.  

I want to go to there.

I grew up listening to Nat King Cole's rendition of “Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer.”  Many a summer night it would be playing on our record player (yes, record player!) while we barbecued or just sat outside on the porch watching the sunset.  Fond childhood memories aside, the lyrics just SCREAM summer, so it’s the perfect backdrop for this (semi) festive episode.  The festival scenes also remind me of Fourth of Julys spent at our own local outdoor celebrations.  This episode is folksy fun with just the right amount of angst and quirky characters, even if it is a little light on traditional summer trappings (a giant stuffed bear does make an appearance, however).

Happy Summer!

Summer Quotient: This wasn’t as summery as I remembered, though it earns a 3 off of the strength of the festival scenes alone.

See It, Skip It, Own It?

Worth owning along with the rest of the excellent Season 3—in fact you should own all of Gilmore Girls (yes, even the last season)!