BERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS

Strawberry Shortcake
Season 1 (2003)

Being a child of the late 80s and early 90s of course I’m familiar with Strawberry Shortcake. I still covet a Berry Happy Home dollhouse of my own.  Strawberry is slightly less popular than some of the other 80s kid franchises and therefore has been revived, rebooted and remodeled several times over the past decade in an attempt to boost her popularity. She's kind of like Doctor Who; she keeps regenerating into new forms.  For reference, here is a side by side comparison of the original character and the current, sleeker and slimmed-down incarnation:

In 2003 Strawberry was revived (and thankfully looked more like her original self than she does now) with a cartoon series, from which this Christmas episode springs.  It has an extra-long running time, features several songs and a ton of characters with cutesy food names.  I have to admit I was pretty eager to watch this; nothing gets me more in the holiday spirit than Christmas-themed cartoons. It reminds me of those exciting childhood days when school was out and Christmas was around the corner.  Instead of trudging off to school I got to watch cartoons in the morning, usually reruns on USA Network. 

Strawberry in her 2003 incarnation.

In “Berry Merry Christmas” Strawberry Shortcake is obsessing over finding the perfect presents to get her friends, despite the fact that they show up and literally announce exactly what they want/need.  “I lost my COOKIE CUTTERS!”  “I love SUGAR PLUMS!”  This version of Strawberry was more than a little dim.  She spoke slowly in that irritating Dora the Explorer manner and constantly asked questions aloud: “What--should--we--do?”  Where--are--we?  What--is--happening?”  Clearly this is aimed at a very young audience (and gay adult male holiday bloggers, because I kind of loved it).

Ignoring their very obvious requests, Strawberry sets out with Honey, a self-centered horse, to Holiday Land to find gifts for her friends.  Holiday Land is the best part of the episode; it’s the sort of Christmas fantasy land I spent most of my childhood drawing, thinking about and trying to escape to.  One by one Strawberry figures the appropriate gifts.  She gets sugar plums from a Sugarplum Fairy, helps stop a crisis at a candy cane factory and gets cookie cutters in return, and so on and so forth.  

Somebody give Honey a  goddam saddle already

Ultimately a magic wind whisks Strawberry and Honey direct to Santa’s workshop where they chat up the jolly old elf and Strawberry randomly bursts into tears when he asks her what she wants for Christmas.  She and Honey make it home only to discover the snowballs they made as a gift for one of their friends melted and ruined all the other presents but—surprise!—Santa restores them, along with a gift for Strawberry (a quilt with her friends pictures on it).  Then everyone sings a song about friendship being the greatest gift of all.

Aside from Strawberry’s stupidity and slow talk, her singing was a bit painful.  She sings in this very childlike voice that isn’t very pleasant on the ears. But otherwise this was really charming, worth it just for the cute food-pun names and Holiday Land décor (such as an all-bell shop shaped like…a bell!).  It reminded me of a childhood favorite that I have on VHS, The Care Bears Nutcracker Suite.  The story is equally insipid but the backgrounds and images just scream Christmas.

Honey and Custard, my new favorites

I liked Honey, the vapid horse, who either asked for or suggested someone be given a saddle approximately every five seconds.  If I was a more ambitious person I would track how many times the words “saddle” and “berry” occurs in this episode, as I’m sure the results would be mind-boggling.   My favorite character, though, was Custard, the bitchy cat.  Custard told Strawberry that her singing hurt her ears, that she didn’t want any presents, and that she planned on hibernating from Christmas until New Year’s.  Custard don’t care!

Recurring Themes: Strawberry undergoes a Perfect Gift Search and the Real Santa Shows Up.

Christmas Quotient: 4

See It, Skip It, Own It?
Admittedly not everyone can stomach this type of kiddie fare, but if you’re feeling nostalgic or like cartoons in general give it a watch (it’s up on Netflix Instant).  Plus Custard and Honey make for a fun diva-bitch duo!