BEACH BLANKET BIZARRO

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Season 5 (2001)

I can’t believe that it’s taken me this long* to write about Sabrina, the Teenage Witch!  I’ve really come to love this show, first during its run on TGIF and then later via reruns and DVDs.  It’s totally goofy yet endearing and this spring break episode encapsulates that dynamic perfectly. 

Frankie & Zelda & Hilda (no Annette)

We begin with Sabrina, red-haired and enjoying her first year of college life, booking a last-minute spring break trip for her friends and maybe-boyfriend Josh (he only lasted four episodes).  Sabrina’s aunts, remembering their own debauched spring breaks past (which involved centurions and a fountain), cast a spell on the group to inspire “good clean fun.”  The spells comes in the form of guest star Frankie Avalon, teen heartthrob of many a beach movie in his day.  Sabrina had a surprisingly wide and very random array of guests stars, whether it was Barbara Eden as a wicked aunt, Coolio as a talking poster in an alley (it happened,  people!) or Johnny Mathis awkwardly singing Christmas carols.

Love means never having to say you're sorry.  And gazing to the left. 

The spell is cast on the unknowing teens and they show up to their Florida hotel ready to party. Once the gang hits the beach, however, they are disappointed to discover a group of squeaky-clean Gidgets and Moon Doggies straight from the 60s.  Soon they get into the spirit of things.  What follows are scenes of surfing, purposefully bad lip-synced musical numbers, and dances like The Watusi and The Monkey.  Throughout the episode the aunts spy on the group via their magic TV (yes, it’s kind of creepy).

Santos Dios!

Far creepier though is Miles, an extremely annoying and short-lived character.  He was one of Sabrina’s college roommates and a conspiracy nut who never seemed to have much to do.  In this episode the writers decided to switch Miles from annoying to terrifying by covering him in ghostly sunscreen.  He wanders around like a horror movie creature until he eventually finds love with a fellow sunscreen-clad beachgoer. 

If the far cheesier and less entertaining Boy Meets World can make a 2014 Disney Channel comeback, why not Sabrina, the Teenage Witch? I would love a show about a now married Sabrina and Harvey raising their teen witch children! I know a lot of high-powered TV executives read this blog, so make it happen already!

*Okay, I wrote about a Sabrina book already but this is the first official show post!

Spring Break Quotient: 5

See It, Skip It, Own It?

This episode is escapist fun, just like the entire series!